1Love Redesigned (Lakefront Billionaires, #1)(93)

I become fascinated by the window. “When you say things like that…”

“What?” he asks after a few moments of silence.

“It makes me feel things I shouldn’t.”

“According to whom?” His question comes out sharper than a blade directed at my chest.

“Me.”

“Because you’re afraid?”

“Because I’m a mess.”

He focuses on the road, giving me a side view of his jaw clenching. “You’re many things, but a mess isn’t one of them.”

My eyes drop to my lap. “I’ve only just started feeling like myself again.” After fighting my way out of a mental fog, I don’t want to sink back into that black hole.

Julian stays quiet, which emboldens me.

“I’ve been taking the right steps to get better. Therapy. Antidepressants. Exploring who I am post-breakup while forgiving the person I was before it.”

His grip on the steering wheel tightens. “And how is that going?”

“I’m finally happy.” I take a deep breath. “So freaking happy but also terrified that the feeling might disappear again, and then I’ll be sucked back into that dark place.”

“It could happen. You could slip back into another depression, and that isn’t something you can control.”

“I know.” I fidget with my hands.

He reaches over and interlocks our fingers. “But that doesn’t mean you have to go through that kind of feeling by yourself anymore.” His hand squeezes mine.

“I’m afraid to depend on people.”

“Your issue isn’t depending on people but rather finding the right people to depend on.”

It takes me a good minute to wrap my head around that one. “Did everyone see what I was clearly missing?”

“No, although I wish I had.” His hold on my hand loosens, so I tighten my grip to stop him from slipping away.

“You wouldn’t have known regardless.” Keeping up false pretenses was a craft I honed over the years, making sure no one could see through the mask I held in place to shield my anxiety, insecurities, and relationship issues.

“Maybe, maybe not. But I regret not owning up to my actions and trying to reconnect with you.”

No amount of deep breathing will save me from the ache in my chest. “We both need to let go of our regrets if we plan on moving forward.”

It takes him a full minute to say anything. “I can do that.”

“Do you think…” I bite down on my cheek.

He peeks at me out of the corner of his eye. “Do I think what?”

“That we could remain friends, even if I move back to San Francisco?”

“If?” His fingers stop tapping against the steering wheel.

“When.” I power through the next sentence before I second-guess myself. “Our families are so happy that we’re all together, and I’d hate for things to be strained again if we have a falling out or things get weird between us.”

“If or when you move back, I don’t plan on letting things go back to the way they were before.”

My brain takes his statement and runs a marathon with it until Julian interrupts my overthinking power hour by stopping his truck at the intersection leading out of town. “Put this on.”

I check out the silk eye mask. “Is this surprise a kinky one?”

“Don’t take it off.” His burning gaze is the last thing I see before he pushes the mask down, blocking my view.

My body trembles, a fact Julian notices based on his low chuckle.

The engine roars as he takes off again, driving for another twenty minutes before the car finally rolls to a stop.

“Wait here,” he announces before climbing out of the car.

I have no idea what surprise Julian has planned, but I can’t wait to find out.

He opens my door and helps me out.

“Can I take off the blindfold now?”

“Give me a minute.” He grips my elbow and leads me into the unknown. Funny how two months ago, I didn’t trust him near me with both eyes open, yet now I’m willingly taking a blind leap of faith with him.

Gravel crunches beneath my boots as we walk uphill.

I strain my ears while searching for clues about our location. “Where are we?”

“Lake Aurora.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see in a second.”

I’m not sure why Julian brought me out here, but anticipation bites at my heels. Lake Aurora was founded ten years after Lake Wisteria and was heavily influenced by London architecture. With houses of every color and rows of unique townhomes that stretch for miles, the town is a designer’s dream.

After ten more steps, Julian holds true to his promise as he rips the eye mask off. I blink a few times, allowing my eyes to adjust before I take in the massive mansion in front of us. The Queen Anne-style matches the Founder’s house style, although this one was kept in slightly better condition.

“What’s going on?”

He holds up a pair of keys. “You said you were bored.”

“So you bought me a house?”

“I thought we could fix it.”

“Together?”

The slight tightening of his throat gives his nerves away.