A Court This Cruel & Lovely (Kingdom of Lies, #1)(57)

“Every time I think you’re about to stop being a scared little mouse and actually reveal the woman I believe you are, you prove me wrong. Well, sweetheart, we don’t have time for your insecurity or self-doubt.”

I loathed that I’d let the cold mercenary into my head. But he was right. We didn’t have time for my insecurity. Or my self-doubt.

Sucking in a deep breath, I forced myself to think about anything except the tiny space below us.

Asinia. Think of Asinia.

That helped. If she could suffer in the king’s dungeon, I could do this.

I began counting off the seconds as I lowered myself down the ladder. Prickles of dread traveled from the back of my neck down my spine. My eyes met Tibris’s, and he gave me a reassuring smile.

Why couldn’t I have been afraid of anything except small spaces?

I made it to the bottom of the ladder, moving aside so Tibris could come down too. My heart tripped over its next beat until it was racing fast enough, it was as if I were sprinting, fleeing for my life.

Dropping to my knees, I peered into the tunnel. Ameri’s feet were barely visible in the gloom, but the fact that I could see them meant the tunnel couldn’t be as long as I’d imagined.

Tibris landed behind me. “We don’t have to do this.”

“Don’t coddle me.” If I was going to be the kind of person who could break Asinia out of the king’s dungeon, I could no longer afford weaknesses. I needed to conquer my fears. Needed to become hardened to such things.

Tibris turned silent.

I sighed. “I’ve…come to realize that in these kinds of situations, I respond better to impatience and the implication that I’m a coward than I do to soft words and encouragement.”

“Well, that’s not entirely healthy, but if it’s what you need…”

More silence. Tibris cleared his throat, obviously searching for an insult.

I hadn’t thought I’d have it in me to laugh at a time like this, but giggles burst from me. Even when asked to treat me with disdain, my brother couldn’t do it.

“We’re losing sight of them,” he said finally, and I huffed out another laugh. If that was all Tibris had, I’d take it.

The dirt floor was rough beneath my hands and knees. The walls around me were so close, my head brushed against them a few times. My pulse galloped. Exactly how long would it take to die down here if the exit was blocked?

“You’re doing great, Pris. Ah, I mean, move faster, you weakling.”

His voice had turned miserable by the last word, and I awkwardly reached behind me, squeezing his hand. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be mean to me. It’s enough that you’re here.”

Besides, I was suspecting I only responded to taunts from a certain gruff, endlessly amused mercenary. And that was just depressing.

“I’ll always be with you,” Tibris said.

Because we were all each other had. Because of me. Sometimes, the grief and guilt expanded inside me until I could barely breathe.

“We’re here.” Ameri’s voice echoed down the tunnel.

Echoed because the tunnel was longer than I’d thought. I shuddered, and for an awful moment, bile burned up my throat.

No. I could do this. This was nothing compared to what Asinia was going through right now. I kept crawling, attempting to ignore the feel of dirt beneath my hands and knees.

Eventually, the tunnel opened into a small hollow carved out of the dirt. We were still underground, but we could stand if we bent almost in two. An old woman sat on a rickety-looking crate against one wall. Several tunnels branched from the hollow, and in the corner, another ladder led back up to what was likely another store or someone’s house. That was our best escape route if the tunnel were to collapse.

Lanos leaned against one of those ladders and nodded at me. I turned and studied the old woman. She was blind, her lips were cracked and dry, and her clothes dirty and torn. Fury poured through me at her condition.

Ameri cleared her throat, and I glanced at her. She stiffened at whatever she saw on my face. “We’ve tried,” was all she said.

I crouched in front of the woman. “My name is Prisca,” I said softly.

“Hello, Prisca.” The woman’s voice was soft, almost childlike. She smiled, and despite her cracked teeth, it was a sweet smile. “My name is Ivene.”

“Hello, Ivene.”

“You’ve come to learn about the past.”

“Yes. If you wouldn’t mind telling me.”

She reached her hands up, and I held myself still as she used them to trace my face. “You’re a beautiful woman.” She smiled, and it was sadder. “It won’t make your life any easier, you know.”

I smiled back, keeping my voice gentle. “I thought you saw the past, not the future.”

“You don’t have to be a seer to know life is kind to no woman, even those who are blessed with beauty.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Ameri said. My lips twitched. We shared a look, and for the first time, I felt her thaw a little toward me.

“Will you tell me of the king? And the hybrids?” I asked, but Ivene was already turning away, her head angled as if she was listening to someone.

“I told you not to talk to me while I am speaking to others.”

Ameri sighed but gestured for me to wait. Eventually, Ivene turned back toward me.