A Long Time Coming (Cane Brothers, #3)(125)

“This looks delicious,” I say as Breaker hands me a fork.

“It does.” He slips his arm around my waist and pulls me in closer before resting his hand on my hip, keeping me right next to him.

As we dig into our lunch, I ask him, “Have you always been this possessive over the women you’re seeing?”

“Nope,” he answers before swallowing his first bite. “You’re the only one.”

“Can I ask why?”

“Why? Do you hate it?”

I shake my head. “No, I love it, but it’s so different. I haven’t ever met a guy who has held me like you do. Or wanted to touch me like you. And I guess I didn’t know how much I liked it until you came along.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know how much I needed it either until I touched you.” He smirks at me and then shoves a forkful of his food in his mouth, looking all goofy and ridiculously cute. When I shake my head at him, he nudges me and asks, “What?”

“You’re just . . . God, you’re annoying with how hot you are. You can just smirk, and it makes my stomach all twisted in knots.”

“I consider that a good thing.”

“Of course you do because you think you have me wrapped around your pinky.”

“Don’t I?”

I fork a piece of shrimp and mutter, “Unfortunately.”

He chuckles. “Don’t be upset about it or anything.”

“You’re just charming and sweet and thoughtful, and ugh . . . it makes it hard to find fault in you.”

“Are you looking for faults?” he asks as he sips from his Sprite cup.

“Aren’t we always looking for faults?” I ask as I twirl noodles on my fork. “Without faults, we wouldn’t be human.”

“True,” he answers. “So if you’re looking for faults, I have something for you to chew on.”

“Oh yeah, is it a real thing?”

“Very real. I think about this all the time and how I could have done better,” he replies.

“Okay, let me hear it.” I take a bite from my fork and listen intently.

“One of my greatest faults would be not asking you out on a date the first night I met you.”

I roll my eyes. “Come on, Breaker.”

“I’m serious,” he says, and from the tone in his voice and the expression in his eyes, I can truly tell he is. “Ever since I got a taste of you, I keep thinking about how I’m such an idiot for not asking you out sooner, for not making a move earlier. I can’t believe I waited this long to hold your hand, to have you in my bed. It makes me feel like a real fucking idiot. And all those years of not having a girlfriend, it’s because of you. Because I had deep-rooted feelings for you that I wasn’t allowing myself to feel. So yeah, there’s my fault, being a legitimate idiot when it comes to how I feel about you.”

“Wow, okay,” I say, unsure of how to respond to that. “I don’t know if we would have the same relationship that we do now. I probably wouldn’t have been as open with you about certain things if I was looking for something romantic. When you’re just friends, it’s as if you can drop all the walls and be yourself, but when you’re trying to be romantic with someone, you almost put on this fa?ade to show that you’re good enough to be with that person. I’ve sort of felt that way recently with you.”

“Why?” he asks, turning toward me and abandoning his meal.

“It’s nothing huge, just subtle things, but I’ve had some self-conscious moments, and I just think it comes with the territory when someone is more sexually experienced. I mean, this past week, Breaker.” My cheeks redden. “I have never done half the things we’ve done. I didn’t even know that kind of sexuality was in me.”

“Do you still feel that way?” he asks.

“Sometimes. You’re just . . . I don’t know, it’s stupid.” I adjust my glasses on my head and turn back to my meal.

“I’m just what?” he asks, tugging on my hand.

Knowing he’s not going to let this go, I say, “You’re not the same nerdy guy from college. Sure, if I was able to look past the mustache back then and the floppy hair, I probably would have been intimidated, but I wasn’t because you were goofy, and I loved that about you. Now that you’re all grown up and . . . you know . . . muscular, there’s an intimidating factor to your transformation. I don’t feel like I’m in your league.”

“Jesus, you can’t be serious, Lia.”

“I know, I said it was stupid, but it’s hard not to feel that way when the guy who is . . . well, whatever this is between us, when he’s gorgeous, rich, and extremely well endowed with the kind of experience that would make any woman blush. I don’t feel worthy.”

He forces me to look at him by looping his finger under my chin. “I can’t tell you how to feel, and those feelings are something I will help you work through, but I want you to know this right here and now. I’m the one who feels lucky, okay? I’m the one who feels like they’re trying to dig their claws into you so you don’t run away. That insecurity lives heavily in my heart as well. I fear you’ll wake up one day and realize that you made a mistake, that you miss Brian, that you should never have called off the wedding. Or that maybe I’m the rebound guy, that I shouldn’t have made a move on you so soon.”