A River of Golden Bones (The Golden Court, #1)(77)

“Be safe, little fox,” he murmured and carried on down the road.

I watched him walking away, my heart fluttering like the hem of his cloak. I stood beside Sadie, staring into the shop window. She eyed the delicate golden necklaces and baskets of kohl, and I knew she was thinking of her date with Navin that evening.

“Have you come to lecture me, too?” Sadie muttered in her usual bitter tone. “Do you think I’m a fool for disobeying pack rules?”

“I don’t.” Her hooded eyes found my reflection in the glass. “We were taught to never question the rules. And now that we’re here in Taigoska, disobeying one, it feels like we’re ready to question them all.”

“I always felt proud to be a Silver Wolf.” Sadie folded her arms. “I knew we had our problems—King Nero, the worst of them—but it still felt right. Loyalty. Honor.” She bunched up her shoulders as a flurry of snow blustered down the street. “Now, it all feels wrong.”

“I wonder sometimes how I never questioned it all before. I suppose I did in the back of my mind, but . . .” I looked up at the curling cursive letters above the door. “That’s a human thing—questioning it all. It’s not what Wolves are supposed to do.”

The bell to the storefront jingled and a human walked out, carrying a pastel bag in her hand. She gave us a sideways look and darted across the street.

Sadie huffed, watching the human rush away from us. Even without knowing we were Wolves, I’m sure we looked intimidating in our dark clothes with our sharp features and predatory stillness.

“We don’t fit in with the humans, but don’t want to fit in with the Wolves, either,” she groused.

“Why are you here, Sadie?” I turned to her. “Why this shop?”

“I don’t know,” she hissed, scowling at the baskets of perfumed oils. “I wanted to look pretty or something for my dinner with Navin.”

I smirked at her and her scowl deepened. “Pretty or something?”

“Whatever,” she mumbled.

“I’m not making fun of you,” I quickly corrected. “I’m commiserating. Gods, I think I understand better than anyone.”

Sadie glanced at me. “You do?”

“I understood how I was meant to look, who I was meant to be, but deciding for myself is . . .”

“Scary,” Sadie whispered, looking back into the window.

“Two Wolves scared to enter a boutique.” A giggle escaped my lips at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Sadie grinned. “More comfortable with daggers than rouge.”

“To be clear, you don’t need any of this, Sadie, if you don’t want it.” I waved at the window. “Navin only has eyes for you, just as you are.”

“I know,” she said. “But it’s frightening to think about.”

“What?”

“Who would I be if I could be anything?” She pinned me with a look and my eyes began to well, even as I laughed at it all.

“I think I understand that better than anyone.”

Her brows pinched together as she looked at my smile and tears. “You okay?”

“If Briar were here, I’d know how to dress. But if I could be anything? I wouldn’t just be the forgotten Gold Wolf or Briar’s twin or even Grae’s mate.” The thoughts were still spinning within me and I was too afraid to pin them down or make sense of them.

Sadie hummed in agreement, as if she could make sense of all the words that I couldn’t. “In a pack, we are told exactly where we rank and what that means for us: how we can act, who we can love, how much we can dream for. Before now we only existed as one part of a bigger beast,” she said. “But now as individuals . . .” She blew out a long breath.

“They’d have never allowed it,” I said. “We were all just pawns in Nero’s own game.”

“If we defeat Sawyn, it won’t matter what anyone else says,” Sadie said with fierce confidence. “You can claim that kingdom and make your own rules if we win.”

“We?”

She shrugged. “Hector and I talked about it. After we rescue Maez, we’re coming with you. We made ourselves targets the second we left with Grae. Either you win or we die, so we might as well help you.” She grinned, shuffling her feet closer to the window to escape the gale of icy wind. “In your kingdom, will you let humans and Wolves be together?”

I hadn’t thought about it before then—that I might be able to make decisions that would affect other people like her, but the word came tumbling out of my mouth. “Yes.”

Sadie pulled out her dagger and held open her palm. “Then I pledge my sword to you.” She slit her hand and held it out to me. “My future ruler and regent.”

“You’re so morbid,” I muttered.

“The word is ‘sanguine.’” She smirked. “But yes, always.”

I took out my knife and did the same, knowing that this was a declaration to myself as well. I thought to Grae, to our confessions in the forest. It was time I showed him all I was willing to fight for.

Vellia’s voice whispered back into my mind: Whatever it is you want from this life, Calla, I hope you have the stubbornness to take it.

No more silent submission. I would be the ruler of Olmdere or I’d die trying.