Across the Vanishing Sky (Starlight Grove, #1)(36)

“I’m damn good at what I do, Hellion. I won’t get caught.”

He didn’t look away as the words spilled into the space between us. The nickname was a tiny piece of intimacy we hadn’t earned, but I still found myself wanting to hold tight to it. Because I yearned to be known in that way. The kind of way that meant someone knew you inside and out. Was aware of all your secrets and eccentricities. But I didn’t have that. Not anymore.

I swallowed down the yearning. Tucked it away where I put all my other hard things. My parents’ abandonment and disapproval. Vincent’s rejection. Nova’s disappearance. It was as if I couldn’t hold on to anyone in my life. They all vanished in one way or another.

“You’re sure?” My voice dipped on the words, a rasp coating them that Dex didn’t miss.

His gaze tracked over my face and down to my neck as if seeking the source of tension. “I’m sure. Started getting the lay of the land last night, but it would help to know what you’ve found so far.”

This was happening. I shoved off the counter, my fingers tingling the slightest bit, telling me to breathe. “Okay, I…”

Dex’s hand loosened around his mug as if he might reach out to touch me. To comfort me? “You don’t have to do it today.”

“No, I want to,” I said quickly. But it wasn’t a want; it was a need. Not to leave Nova alone any longer. “I just…yesterday was a lot. Talking about it to you. To a support group. I’m not used to quite that much sharing.”

The words tripping out of my mouth made me feel almost naked. But Dex deserved my honesty. He’d earned it with his offer of help despite all the risks it posed to him.

Dex studied my face for a long moment. “Didn’t sleep well?”

I shook my head, wisps of blond hair fluttering around my face. “Nights are the hardest. So much silence. Too much room for memories.”

Understanding swept over Dex’s features, and beneath it…pain. For me? I wasn’t sure.

“The quiet’s the hardest when the memories are loud,” he said softly.

He spoke as if he truly knew. As if he’d experienced the same things I had. I wanted to ask but didn’t have any right to. And he was already giving me so much. Instead, I gave him what I could. “Thanks for helping me, even though I’m the worst.”

One side of Dex’s mouth kicked up in that lopsided grin, and something about the off-kilter smile knocked me sideways.

“You’re the worstest. But I think I like your worst, Hellion.”

A buzz lit beneath my skin at his words, a faint hum that was an early warning system. Because I didn’t go there anymore. Not with anyone. If you touched a hot stove, you learned because you had the scars to prove it.

But still, I headed for my Nova room, knowing Dex would follow. Playing with fire all over again.





15





DEX





My thumb swept across the screen of my phone, all the data I’d gathered in the last twelve hours flying past. I’d built a casefile app from scratch for my brothers and me. It gave us the ability to store any information we found in a place where we could all access it.

The app was different from what law enforcement used because we had different needs. It also had a handy self-destruct button in case anyone we didn’t want sniffing around got too close.

As I skimmed the words, images of Brae flashed in my mind: her blond hair woven into pigtail braids, swinging as she spoke; those warm amber eyes, flashing gold with hope or anger, deepening to nearly black with sorrow or grief.

The woman was a war. A study in opposites. She let all those emotions fly yet held so much close to the vest—layers of secrets she wasn’t ready to let me or anyone else in on.

And that was fair. It wasn’t as if I’d been honest with her. All I’d given her were half-truths. Something about that had guilt digging in.

I looked up, taking in the sign carved into the wood above the double doors: Juniper County Sheriff’s Department. My back molars ground together. It was the last place I wanted to go but the first place I needed to be.

Shoving my phone into my pocket, I grabbed the stack of papers on the seat next to me. If the sheriff had moved Nova’s disappearance to cold-case status, then there was no reason for them not to share their files. But it was going to piss Miller the hell off. That was just a bonus.

I climbed out of my 4Runner and headed for the station, calling on my mask that wouldn’t let anyone know exactly what I was thinking or how I was feeling. It was the ultimate protection.

But it slipped into a grin the second I stepped inside and caught sight of Travis holding a box of donuts and talking to whoever was on duty at the desk.

“A cop and donuts. Isn’t that a little cliché?” I asked.

Trav’s head jerked up, and a huge smile split his face as he set the donuts down. “I heard the rumors, but I don’t think I believed ’em until I saw your ugly mug.”

I chuckled and pulled him in for a quick back slap. “You’re jealous of my chiseled jawline, don’t lie.”

He barked out a laugh. “You caught me.”

The man behind the desk eyed me with a cross between suspicion and derision. It wasn’t anything new, but it still clawed at me. I tried to remember his name. Gus or Gary, something with a G. He’d been in Wylder’s grade, if I remembered right.