Audre & Bash Are Just Friends(45)

Audre stopped walking, her eyes wide and shining. “Are you serious? Bash, that’s incredible! Damn, you’re really good, huh?”

“I told you I was!” he said, laughing.

“Where’s the shop? Brooklyn? Is it in the city?”

“Nah, it’s down in South Carolina. Myrtle Beach. The surfing there is legendary, too. It’s kinda like too good to be true, though. I shouldn’t get my hopes up.”

The vibe changed for a split second. She tilted her head to one side, nodded to herself, and then kept walking down the aisle. Bash hurried after her.

“Bash Henry, you should absolutely get your hopes up,” she said, using her businesswoman voice. She sounded more like a guidance counselor than a peer. “You’re gonna get this job. Mark my words.”

Why does she sound like that? wondered Bash. Does she… not want me to leave?

“What does your mom think about you moving?” she asked. “South Carolina is far. Really far.”

His stomach sank a little at her question. Of course, why would she care if he left?

“My mom’ll probably be relieved. We’ve never spent any time together anyway.”

“Really? You must have some standout memories with her.”

As they moved through the aisles, Bash gave this some thought. “The last time I saw her, I was twelve. She’d invited me to spend my birthday in Brooklyn. I flew across the country by myself, which was cool. And she took me to Dave and Buster’s. I was so excited. The few birthday parties I had were at the track, with my team before or after practice.”

Audre glanced at him, her expression filled with empathy. “You never got a break, huh?”

Bash shook his head. “Anyway, Dave and Buster’s wasn’t as cool as I’d hoped. I just sat there eating stale nachos while Jennifer went on about how Trump’s administration canceled funding for social programs.”

“Did you play games at least?”

“Nah, she’s a germaphobe. She said I could play if she wiped the controllers down with Clorox wipes. For dignity reasons, I declined.”

Before Audre could answer, they were there. In the sexual wellness aisle. Surrounded by shelves stocked with fruit-scented lube, butt plugs, and packs of “adult party cards.” Everything was locked up behind a case—which meant they’d have to ask a clerk for help. Mortifying.

Bash clapped his hands together. “What’s the move?”

Audre chewed on a cuticle, scanning the shelves. “These are all vibrators. No, we need a dildo. Hmm. Wait, here a few. But which one do I get?”

Bash swallowed hard, stuffing his hands in his jeans pockets. Please stop saying it, just pick one out and let’s get outta here expeditiously, he thought.

“I read a psychology book once with an interesting theory.” Audre turned to face him. “It said that if you’re a woman without IRL sexual experience, sex toys could be a problem. Because they might work… too well… and then you’ll expect that… feeling… when you’re with an actual person. It sets up false expectations.”

Bash blinked at her, flushing hot. His T-shirt was sticking to his back. Desperate to look busy, he pretended to study a jar of Sexytime Gummies through the clear case. “Interesting. But who’s to say you won’t get that feeling with an IRL person?”

“Because women’s bodies are complicated. It takes nothing for boys to get… excited,” she whispered. “But girls take more work. It’s Sexual Health 101.”

“Well… why not find out what you like before you’re with an actual person?”

“Why?” asked Audre with a wide-open, innocent expression.

Bash raised his brows, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s just that… what if the guy doesn’t know what he’s doing? If you have dildo experience, you could… you know, guide him.”

Audre raised her chin, her coppery braids glinting in the superstore lighting. In her face was a knee-weakening mix of competitiveness and vulnerability. Bash’s mouth went dry.

“I don’t need dildo experience to guide a guy. Why assume that virgins are prudes?” She stuck a fist on her hip. “My brain is slutty. You’d be shocked by what goes on in there.”

What?

Bash’s heartbeat roared in his ears. Hanging on to sanity by a thread, he pointed to a large wand sealed in plastic. “How about the Indulge Double-Sided Vibrator?”

Audre’s eyes widened. “What does it do?”

“Unclear. But one charge gives you an hour of continuous use.”

“An hour of continuous use?” She winced. “Ouch.”

“And why is it double-sided?”

They tilted their heads together, reading the instructions on the back. With a shocked gasp, Audre backed away from the case like it was on fire.

Just then, a Target sales associate approached. “Can I help you? Oh! Holy shit, it’s Audre! And Bash.”

The associate was Wilder Katz, a local legend. Two years ago, the five-foot-three math prodigy was the Cheshire Prep valedictorian. Halfway through his first semester at Harvard, he came home for good—a hollowed-out shell of the boisterous guy he used to be. Could’ve been burnout. Or emotional challenges. But soon he was found wandering the halls at Cheshire—wearing a Harvard hoodie and asking underclassmen if they knew of any jobs.