Audre & Bash Are Just Friends(52)
Audre: i’m scared of needles, remember
Bash: I’d make u feel safe, promise
Audre: but it’s illegal
Bash: just trust me
Audre: what if we get arrested
Bash: what if it’s worth it
Audre: menace
Bash: good night, A
Audre: good night, B
NEW DAY
Audre: i think I’m sick.
Bash: what kinda sick
Audre: idk, my throat is scratchy and i sneezed twice today. maybe I shouldn’t go to the party
Bash: ur going. i have a whole thing planned
Audre: i might be contagious
Bash: contagious doesn’t always mean dangerous
Audre:???
Bash: think about it. yawns are contagious. if somebody yawns in ur vicinity, u do it too
Audre: ok that’s true
Bash: and aren’t periods contagious? like when a bunch of girls are on a sports team together or live in the same dorm
Audre: WHAT
Bash: no?
Audre: periods aren’t contagious! girls’ cycles sync up when we’re around each other for a long time
Bash: ur so fucking smart
Audre: it’s science!
Bash: smiles are contagious too. yours is, at least
Audre: wait what
Bash: when u smile, I wanna smile too. See? contagious, not dangerous
Audre:…
Audre:…
Bash: ur smiling now, I can tell
Audre:
Bash: ur coming on friday. take some tussin & feel better soon
Audre: FINE. sneeze
Bash: night, A
Audre: night, B
NEW DAY
Audre: u know, the other night, when u were thinking about your organs?
Bash: i’m always thinking about my organs
Audre: i think about mine, too. i sometimes wish I could have a constant x-ray streaming to see what’s going on in there
Bash: i love x-rays
Audre: NO, I LOVE X-RAYS. speaking of, I have something to confess
Bash: i’m ready
Audre: promise to still be my funsultant when I tell you
Bash: i promise on mamas
Audre: i have a tooth in my chin
Bash:…
Bash:…
Bash: whut
Audre: it’s an adult tooth that never pushed up! it’s laying down sideways, deep down in my chin. the baby tooth it was supposed to replace? it never fell out
Bash: UNHINGED I LUV IT. does your chin hurt?
Audre: i can’t feel it. and my baby tooth fits in w the rest. no one would ever know. his name is robert
Bash: whose name?
Audre: my chin-tooth. when I was little, dr. gregg told me to name it and make friends with it. so it didn’t freak me out
Bash: this is the greatest news I’ve ever heard. can I see the X-ray?
Audre: maybe one day
Bash: since we’re doing this, I have a body secret to tell u too
Audre: i’m scared
Bash: i have 3 nipples
Audre: YOU HAVE 3 WHAT
Bash: the third one’s small! it’s on my stomach, u can barely see it. harry styles has 4
Audre: did u name yours?
Bash: should I?
Audre: roberta
Bash: YES. robert’s sister
Audre: it’s weird that we trust each other like this
Bash: idk it’s not so weird to me
Audre: night, B
Bash: night, A
NEW DAY
Bash: i did some research on panic attacks
Audre: (embarrassing)
Bash: it’s not, tho. therapists get anxiety too
Audre: i know, i know
Bash: ever heard of the 333 method
Audre: ofc, i’ve prescribed it a million times. when u feel panic coming on, u focus on 3 senses. something u can see, hear, and touch
Bash: so why don’t you try it?
Audre: cuz then i’d be admitting that I have panic attacks. admitting that I have panic attacks makes me wanna have a panic attack
Bash: nah, man. ur gonna start doing 333. okay?
Audre: okaayyyy
Bash: ur stubborn as hell
Audre: duh i’m a taurus. u know what else tauruses are? curious. which is why i solved the 1980s smurf lunch box mystery
Bash: !!!!!