Before the Sunset (Cottonwood Cove, #4)(38)

“You’re not kidding. I mean, the job is a big change, but dating Finn…” She clapped her hands together, and the widest grin spread across her face. “I’d say you upgraded with both.”

The comment caught me off guard. Not that Finn wasn’t the greatest guy I knew, but I didn’t know that Maggie wasn’t a fan of Carl.

“Thank you. Yeah, I’m really happy. But Carl and I are still friends. I still care very deeply for him.”

She winced. “Oh, man. I didn’t mean to imply anything bad about him. I just, well, I always felt like he wanted you to be on board with his plan. It always seemed like it was his way or the highway. I don’t doubt that he loved you like crazy, as much as a man like Carl can.”

A man like Carl?

“What do you mean, ‘as much as a man like Carl can’?” I pressed, because I understood my family and Finn having an issue with Carl, but not someone who didn’t know all the details of what had gone down between us.

“I just mean that I think Carl thinks very highly of himself. His first love will always be—well, Carl.” She chuckled. “But all those years of you and Finn hanging out all the time, it was never like that. You both always celebrated one another in every way. And I saw you do that with Carl, but I never saw him reciprocate that with you.”

My heart raced a bit at her words because I knew deep down there was some truth to them. Maybe that was why I’d decided to go to London.

Maybe I hadn’t been selfish at all.

Maybe I’d been trying to show him that I was just as important as he was. It was true. It was Carl’s way or no way, and after a while, that had gotten old. I’d lost myself and my identity while doing everything for him, his way. There was more to this than I’d realized, and now, talking with Maggie, I was seeing things more clearly.

“Yeah, Finn is a natural at making everyone feel like they’re the most important person in the room.” I chuckled.

“He’s charming, that’s for sure. But he’s never looked at anyone the way he looks at you. I’d always thought he was in love with you. I’m just glad he finally realized it.”

I sucked in a breath.

What was she talking about?

I mean, he was a damn good actor. But we hadn’t been pretending before now.

“I don’t know about that. This is new for us. We realized our feelings during our time apart.”

She raised a brow. “Maybe you did. But I think his were there long before yours were.”

I’m guessing she was confusing friendship with romantic feelings. Because I never doubted that he loved me for a minute—but not in a romantic way. Finn had the attention span of a toddler when it came to women.

Everyone knew that.

He wasn’t a womanizer like Jessica made him out to be. The man would never lie or risk hurting someone. He was honest about who he was. We’d talked about it dozens of times.

In fact, the only time he’d ever lied in all the years that I’d known him was right now. Because I’d asked him to.

And he’d lied for me.

I remember a time when we were in college when Sarah Hamlin wanted to date him, and he felt horrible that he didn’t feel the same. He’d tried to force it, but it just didn’t work. She wanted to be angry with him, but he’d told her the truth. He’d tried, and it just wasn’t there.

Finn had always believed what his father had told him about meeting Alana, Finn’s mom.

That when it happened, he’d know it.

But it just hadn’t happened.

And he was fine with it because he’d been so focused on his career, and when he wasn’t working, he liked to have a good time.

There was no shame in knowing what you want.

“Well, I don’t know about that. Tell me what’s going on at the shop,” I said, trying to change the subject.

I was lying to so many people I cared about, and it didn’t sit well with me. What was everyone going to think when all of this came to an end?

“Business is great, and things always get crazy busy heading into the holidays. Guess who came in yesterday?”

“Who?”

“Christy Rae Lovell.” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “It seems she’s not too happy about Carl hiring you to design his new office.”

Ahhh… trouble in paradise.

“Really? It’s not like they live together. He and I are still friends. He’s just trying to help me out with the new business.”

“I don’t know. She was talking to Sally Cauldon, and I was just doing what small-town locals do best,” she said with a wink. “Eavesdropping like my life depended on it.”

My head fell back in laughter. “Well, I would expect nothing less here in Cottonwood Cove.”

“Yeah. It sounds like they get down and dirty at the hospital, though. She was telling Sally that she pulled him into a storage closet, and they went at it in there between seeing patients. Doesn’t that feel a little, I don’t know… dirty? For a doctor and a nurse to be banging between seeing sick people?”

My chest squeezed, and I made a conscious effort to keep my face even. “I don’t know. I mean, that stuff happens on Grey’s Anatomy, right?”

“True. But that’s with McDreamy and McSteamy. This is… Carl. If Finn were a doctor, I’d think it was perfectly fine. He’s got that swagger. You two must be having a lot of fun.” She shook her head. “The cowboy boots and the backward hat, and don’t even get me started on those abs he showed off in the finale of Big Sky Ranch. Ugh. I’m totally fangirling over your man. You know I’m very happy with Brex. I just got a little off track.”