Beg, Borrow, or Steal (When in Rome, #3)(99)

I shrug. “It’s fair since you’re only in this relationship for my magical mattress.”

“It is a great mattress.” He breathes in, pulling me in even tighter. “I love it. And I love you.”

Those words. My first reaction is to take a sledgehammer to them until they’re nothing but dust where I can never find a trace of their existence again. Because what if they don’t last?

But then I force myself to put the sledgehammer down this time, and instead I run my hand across the slopes and valleys of those beautiful words. Right now—Jackson Bennett—loves me. And that’s something to delight in. The fear and trepidation can just take a hike.

We both jump out of our snuggly cocoon when Madison pounds on my door. “HEY! You better not be getting frisky in there—although I’d actually be proud of you if you were,” she says almost to herself. “But that’s not the point! I’m going to miss my flight if you don’t get your ass moving, Emily Walker.”

Jack kisses the side of my face. “Come find me when you get home, Goldie.”





Chapter Thirty-Four


Emily


“You’re quiet over there,” I say to Madison as we near the airport, a light rain drizzling down the windows.

“Hm?” She straightens up and looks away from the window, where her forehead has been plastered for the entire ride with zero words leaving her mouth. Which has to be a record for her.

Normally I would have noticed it sooner, but I’ve been lost in my own thoughts too. Of Jack. Of Us. Of last night.

I turn my attention back to Maddie. “You’ve been silently staring out the window like you’re re-creating a sad music video.”

“Well, I couldn’t waste the rain, could I?” She laughs lightly. “No—I’m good. Just . . . feeling sad to leave.”

My chest tightens and I resist the urge to whip the truck around and take her back home. Instead, I reach over and take her hand. “You’re the bravest girl I know.”

Her laugh is a cross between a chuckle and something stuck in her throat. “That’s because you haven’t seen me clutching the seat in the back of New York Ubers.” As if to prove her small-town point, cars zoom past my old slowpoke truck on the interstate. “So . . . you and Jack. I’m sorry I had to interrupt you this morning.”

“No you’re not, you little shit,” I say, flashing her a sideways grin.

“Yeah, I’m really not.” She grins right back. My sister. My best friend. Even after all the separation and secret-keeping, we still ended up here—teasing in my truck. And I’m starting to think we always will. Maybe we’re not growing apart, we’re just living in different directions at the moment, happy to meet back in the middle when we can.

“I like him, by the way,” says Maddie. “He’s good with you.”

Now I’m smiling like a fool at the road. “I like him too. I’ve decided to keep him.”

“Good.”

“What about you and . . .” I almost say James. His name is on the tip of my tongue but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m still not certain that whatever I’m sensing between them isn’t something totally made up in my head. Something I’m hoping for because maybe it would mean Madison coming back to town.

“There’s no one in particular in my life right now. In fact, I think I’ve decided to take a hiatus from men for a while.”

I blink over at her a few times, frustrated that I have to bring my eyes back to the road instead of analyzing every tiny expression that crosses her face. “A hiatus? What happened? Did something happen? Give me his number. If someone hurt you, Maddie . . .”

She’s smiling. “Ah—there’s my overprotective sister I know and love.”

Fine, old habits can’t just die overnight, now can they? I’m not sure the urge to nurture and protect my siblings will ever die off, to be honest. I’ve spent my life essentially raising them. I’ve loved them more than I’ve loved myself most days. And I’m coming to terms with the fact that it’s okay that I don’t operate quite like everyone either. Not everyone has raised their siblings or known tragedy at the tender age of eight. I’ve gone through a lot, and now that they’re grown, maybe I can look at it less like losing them, and more like letting go so I can stretch out lazily in the sun. Where Jack can skate his hands up and down my sun-heated skin. Where my frozen heart can twinkle beautifully in the sunlight. I think letting go might not be so bad.

Madison is staring out the window again like she’s looking into another dimension. “I just . . . the future is so unknown. I want to focus on myself and what I want out of life for a while without a guy distracting me.”

I squeeze her hand once more before letting it go. “I’m here for you anytime you need me.”

“I know.”

“Um, but actually. I did have a question for you . . . I was wondering how you’d feel about me switching things up in the house?”

“Switching things up how? Like Jack moving into your bedroom?”

“Ha! No. That’s . . . well, that sounds really nice actually, but that’s something I’ll save for the future rather than right now. I need a little more time to adjust to having a relationship than that.”