Between Tides Thunder(126)

He can’t leave. Not after everything. He can’t.

The door to our new room bursts open with a loud crash. Zev stands by the dresser. In his hand is a large satchel, though I don’t know what could possibly be inside. All our belongings are buried beneath rubble.

“It’s true.” My voice is wooden. Flat. “You’re leaving.”

He spares me a quick glance, then turns back to the dresser. “Yes.”

Anger burns in my chest.

“Were you even going to say goodbye?”

He sighs, as if I’m inconveniencing him. “No, Mayah.” His voice is tight. “I wasn’t.”

“How can you just go?” I wrap my arms around myself, as if that might protect me from the pain gripping my heart. “You can’t just leave me here.” Alone.

He shrugs. “You found your place. Your friends. You’ll be safe.”

And not my concern anymore.

“You’re a coward.” My voice cracks, tears pricking my eyes. “You’re afraid.” He just keeps packing, the stubborn man. “I know you love me, Zev.”

His hand stills. He doesn’t look at me when he says, “That doesn’t mean I can be with you.”

Tides drown me. In this lifetime and in any that follow.

My heart splits open, tears slipping down my cheeks.

“I wielded blood for you!” I scream. Hopelessness wraps its cold fingers around my throat. “How can you still think my heart belongs to anyone else?”

He doesn’t look at me. Just ties his bag closed.

Tides, I might faint. I squeeze my arms tighter around myself, bracing against the door.

“We’re married,” I whisper brokenly.

“Right,” he sighs again. Another inconvenience. “I’ll ask Tairna to annul it.” His voice is detached.

He’s really going to leave.

Because he’s afraid. He’s afraid to love me.

“Fine,” I snap, trying to keep my tears out of my voice. “Leave.” I fill my lungs with a deep, shuddering breath. It does nothing to ease the frantic beat of my heart, the suffocating grief gouging my throat. “I-I hate you.”

He freezes, a violent shudder cascading through him.

In a blink, he’s crossed the room, fingers gripping my wrist.

“Say that again.” His voice is low, desperate.

“I hate you?”

A muscle twitches in his jaw.

“Again.”

“I hate you. I hate you so much, I can’t stand—”

He kisses me.

His lips crash into mine with so much force it sends my head slamming into the door. Zev’s hand threads through my hair, gripping tightly, one arm twining around my waist.

He draws back. “Say it again,” he murmurs against my lips.

“I hate you.” It comes out breathy and soft.

Another tremor ripples through his body, and he drags me to an armchair, tugging me into his lap. My legs dangle over the side. He kisses me again, our teeth knocking together. His lips move over mine as if he’s been starved for me, his tongue coaxing my lips open. A loud moan escapes me as we part for air. I’m panting as he grips my jaw, trailing hot kisses down the column of my throat.

“Zev?” I breathe, chest heaving, all the anger kissed out of me. “Not that I mind, but I’m … confused.”

“Do. You. Want. Me. To. Stop?” he asks between kisses that set my pulse ablaze.

“No,” I whimper as his teeth scrape against my collarbone.

Another deep kiss, slow and languid, his tongue stroking mine.

“Then let me savor this, baby.”

Zev kisses me until I can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t function. I don’t exist except where he touches me. My lips tingle beneath the faint scratch of his stubble, my hair a knotted mess from his roving hands.

He finally pulls back, tucking me close to his chest. His hands are gentle, yet even still, barely restrained desire thrums beneath his skin.

For the first time since that wretched, wretched night in the tunnels, his face is open. Unguarded. Warmth and tenderness swirl in his gaze. The way he used to look at me before— My chin quivers. His eyes track the movement, and he brushes a soft kiss to my cheek. “My sweet Mayah,” he breathes. “I’ve been keeping a secret of my own.”





CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO




“I’M A TRUTHWIELDER.”

I blink. “What?”

He smiles at me, a real smile, not a feral baring of his teeth or a vicious curve of his lips, but an actual smile laced with affection—the one he used to save just for me.

My heart stutters.

“It’s my secondary ability. Lev and my mother were the only ones who knew. Tairna made sure I didn’t tell anyone.” His smile fades. “I was maybe eight. She had a bruise on her cheek. I asked what happened, and she said she had fallen. The back of my neck prickled so hard, I began scratching it. She asked what was wrong—when I told her, her face went pale.”

Heart-and truthwielders are put to death as soon as they’re discovered.

Even children?

Especially children.

“All those weeks alone with you, Mayah … and you never lied.” His voice is soft, aching. “Not once. Most people lie within minutes of opening their mouths—women, soldiers, advisers.” He lets out a quiet, bitter chuckle, his fingers skimming the line of my jaw.