Born to Be Badger (Honey Badger Chronicles #5)(97)

“Dear God,” one of them gasped. “You used our cocoa?”

“Wench!”

Mads’s aunt burst into the room with her three honey badger friends.

“Wolf! You’re home!”

“She’s baking in our kitchen!”

“Let’s talk outside.”

“You brought them here and let this one bake in our kitchen!”

“Outside.” She forced a smile at Charlie. “Excuse us.”

She grabbed an arm and began dragging. Two of her friends followed suit with the other wolves.

Charlie thought about following, finding out what the problem was. But she knew herself. What would start out as a calm and rational conversation would quickly turn into a nasty fight and, eventually, a mass burial that she simply didn’t want to be involved in.

“Better to bake,” she told herself. “Always better to bake. Mass murder bad,” she reminded herself. “Baking good.”

With that bit of wisdom, she went back to what she loved.

*

“You need to calm down.”

“You brought them here?”

“What did you want me to do? She’s my niece.”

“Bring your niece. I don’t give a shit. But you brought all of them here.” Wolf pointed an accusing finger at his wife. “I smell cat, too.”

“Yes. There are tigers in your home. Malones, specifically.”

“Why don’t you just poison the entire pack?” Lot asked. His tone suggested reasoned thinking, but his words revealed what a nut he was. “Quick and easy. That way we don’t have to worry about watching our children being eaten by tigers.”

Trace gestured at the canine and asked CeCe, “Seriously?”

“When did I become responsible for Lot’s insanity?”

“When you married him!”

“A drunken night of irresponsibility that I immediately regretted.”

“That you have not dealt with in more than thirty years.”

CeCe sighed. “All that paperwork for a divorce. I’m an artist! Who has time for all that paperwork?”

Lot, who’d been sitting between his wife’s legs on the couch, looked back at her and said, “I love you, too, honey.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Steph tossed in. “They stay for a couple of days and then we get them out.”

“Unless Edgar comes.” Hel looked around the room. “Do we know if Edgar’s coming?”

“You males sound like panicked puppies,” Ox interjected. “If Edgar comes, I will deal with him.”

“No!” the entire group shouted at her.

“You’re not killing our brother,” Lot told Ox.

“What is this connection you boys have with each other?” Ox wanted to know. “When I was two, my sister tried to strangle me in the crib. I survived, and I’m stronger for it.”

“We do love these little amuse-bouche that you provide, Comrade,” Wolf snarled, “but they’re not particularly helpful.”

“Look, don’t worry,” Trace promised Wolf. “I’ve got this all under control.”

He almost believed her. She could tell. They’d known each other for over three decades, and she knew her husband. He was right there with the believing . . .

“Charlie?” a young honey badger called out from the foyer. Must be the younger MacKilligan sister. She had a bear and a cat with her as her protection detail. “Where are you?”

“In the kitchen. I’m baking!” The two males began to head that way, but Stevie MacKilligan quickly stopped them, stretching both arms out to block them.

“Okay!” she continued to bellow from her spot in the foyer. “Well . . . when you have a chance, I need access to a freezer! I have samples to test and I don’t want anyone to be accidentally poisoned by this stuff!”

“Told you,” Lot snapped.

“No problem!” Charlie screamed back. “They have a bunch of freezers in this kitchen! Just give me a few minutes to see which one will work for you!”

“That’s great! Thanks, Charlie!”

“No problem!”

“Hey! Where’s Max?”

“With Streep! Upstairs!”

“Okay! Thanks!” Stevie looked at the bear and cat. “Go, go, go!” she quietly ordered, pointing. Then all three scrambled up the stairs and disappeared to the second floor.

The wolves again focused on Tracey, and she smiled and started to reassure them, but the nearly two-hundred-pound female dog that had been brought to the house for some reason—along with her very young puppies—appeared in the archway and began to bark at her. And bark. And bark. Demanding food, most likely.

Two male dogs came down the stairs and joined the female. Together, like a little team, they all barked and barked and barked.

“Princess!” Charlie MacKilligan called out from the kitchen. “Come here, girl! I have treats!”

That’s when the three dogs ran off . . . into her husband and his brothers’ pristine kitchen, where no one with fur was allowed for health-safety reasons.

While all three wolves now glowered at her, Tracey said, “See? Complete control . . . just like always.”