Camera Shy (Lessons in Love, #1)(40)

She blinks at me. “Does that also make you feel powerful? Teasing me?” Her narrowed eyes and low tone lead me to believe she’s a little pissed.

“You asked me a question.” I shrug innocently. “I answered.”

She rolls her eyes with a huff. “Mason was using it. I thought he was cheating on me, but he wasn’t. He was role-playing with some girl from that app.”

My jaw clenches when I understand where this is headed. “That’s still cheating, Avery. Phone sex is still sex.”

“It’s not cheating if we were broken up,” she mutters.

“Technicality. Why does it even matter?”

“Because,” she says coolly as her eyes narrow further, “I can’t forgive a cheater. But I could forgive an idiot.”

I might’ve crossed a line. Avery’s a big girl and can make her own decisions…but she cried in my lap last night over what this guy did to her. It’s not right. “You want to get good at sex to win him back?”

“No, Finn. I just want to feel better about myself.” She hunches her shoulders. “I don’t know how else to say it. I want sex to be exciting, not so nerve-racking that it’s scary. That’s all.”

“Okay,” I say and her eyes perk up, so I quickly clarify. “Okay as in I get it, but I need some time to think about it, Avery. It’s not because I’m not interested. It’s because…”

Because we can talk. And you’re fun. You’re comfortable enough with me to ask me to teach you how to have good sex? It’s clear we already like each other. If we fuck, we’re going to fall for each other. I’m sure of it. And neither of us can handle that right now. Neither of us can handle the fallout of yet another breakup. Not to mention Avery’s clearly not over her ex. Nora still haunts me…

This is a terrible idea.

“Because what?” Avery asks, reminding me I didn’t finish my sentence.

“I just need to think about it. I want to help you, but I don’t want to hurt you. I have to think about what that means.”

She gives me a small smile as she nods. “Okay. Think about it. In the meantime, let’s get back to business.” She sits a little taller again. “I seriously think you should consider a new logo.”





It could’ve gone worse…

Definitely.

Maybe.

Shit. What is wrong with me? Finn intoxicates me with his humble sexiness. It’s annoying really. He tempts me on purpose, just to prove I’m like every other woman in the world—enraptured by him. But then he adds to the pile by playing the good guy? Concerned about hurting me? Not wanting to be reckless about casual sex? Who is this guy? It’d be easier if he was just a sexy pig. But it’s clear there’s way more to Finn than I realize.

I shut off the hot tub and cover it back up. Finn got a call and left ten minutes ago, abandoning me with a heaping serving of regret. I can’t believe I asked him to teach me sex. I grumble out loud in frustration. I’ve never felt more stupid in my life.

I collect the empty beer bottles from the deck and rinse them before I throw them away. It’s 9:48 on a Saturday night, but it feels more like a stroke past midnight. The pumpkin has smashed. My dress is torn. My horses are rats. The spell is officially over.

Walking past the aquarium in the living room, I wish Cherry a good night. Sweet fishy dreams, my friend. The little red fish, whom I’ve dubbed she, is darting across the tank again, back and forth, back and forth, tirelessly. I’ll see you in the morning, you little spaz.

I’m on the fourth stair when I hear a heavy pounding at the door. What in the world? Palmer? No. The police? Still in my swimsuit, I tighten my towel around my body and head to the front door.

I open it a crack until I realize it’s Finn. Opening the door wide, I see he’s flushed and a little sweaty. He takes a step forward and leans into the doorframe wordlessly.

“Hey,” I say. “Did you forget something? Or did you miss me already?” I tease. He doesn’t match my humor. His brooding eyes are dark. Clouded with something heavy.

“You’re really serious about this?” he asks in a strained mumble.

What is wrong with him?

“You want me to teach you how to have good sex?”

Why be ashamed? My foot is already in my mouth. I should go ahead and swallow it.

“Yes.”

Finn walks through the door, grabbing my hand as he passes. “It’s time for your first lesson,” he grunts as he leads me past the kitchen, to the staircase.

“Where are we going?” Dumb question, I know. Bedroom, obviously. But I’m really nervous.

“Where do you think?” he asks, sounding a smidge on the side of annoyance.

“Bedroom.”

“Closet,” he says over his shoulder as he pulls me up the stairs.

Oh no.

“The big mirror.” Finn tightens his grip around my hand. “I want you to see everything I’m about to do to you.”





12


Avery





I lost my virginity in the back of a Pontiac the summer before college. It was to a boy named Lucas. Thirteen years later, I don’t remember much about the mechanics. I just remember it being uncomfortable, brief, and just about the biggest letdown that year and that’s even after I got my rejection letter from Berkeley. Lucas praised me afterward, telling me we were so hot together, but what we did had nothing to do with together. I got nothing from it.