Daydream (Maple Hills, #3)(32)

She looks like she’s about to burst into tears and is doing everything to hold it in. I hate it. “How are you the problem?”

Five words that cause her face to sink. “Because I haven’t lived, Henry.”

“Oh.”

“I want to write about a relationship and experiences that I’ve never had and it shows. I have these moments of clarity and it’s like the sun finally poking through the clouds after a storm, and I feel unstoppable. I write something, then I get to something simple that shouldn’t be hard and it’s like I don’t even speak English anymore and I delete it all. I stare at my screen and nothing happens because nothing happens in my life.”

Experiences. Halle talked about having the experience when I interrupted her with Mason, but I didn’t think much of it. “But Will…”

She huffs and I regret saying his name instantly. “Our relationship made sense on paper but not in reality. I was never in love with him. We didn’t even go on a date in the whole year we were together. We just hung out with his friends or our families. Our relationship changed in title, but it never felt like anything progressed romantically.”

“I’ll take you on a date.”

“Henry, no,” she says, panic seeping into her voice. “I wasn’t hinting that I wanted you to take me on a date. I was just venting, ignore me. I’ll get through it! Honestly, it’s totally fine.”

“Let me take you on a date. You need the experience to write it in your book, right?” I say calmly. “Let me help.”

“I can’t ask that of you,” she says quietly.

“Technically I’m asking,” I argue. “You want experiences, and I want to pass Thornton’s class, so let’s help each other. I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness, Halle. Let’s make things even.”

“You’re not taking advantage. I like helping you,” she argues back.

“And I’m going to like taking you on a date.” I’ve been on a few dates before and I’ve never had the strong desire to go on more, but something tells me that this will be different.

The pink flush of her cheeks returns. “What will people think?”

I want to say that I’m sure my friends already have bets running on what’s happening, but I don’t, because I don’t think she’d take it very well. She feels embarrassed about the smallest things and I think that would be one of them. I’m trying really hard to think before I say something that might make her feel that way.

“I don’t care what people think. It’s none of their business.”

“But your friends—”

“Will be jealous they didn’t ask you out first.”

She chews on her lip. Thinking hard. “What if they think we’re dating?”

“Do you always worry about what other people think about things that have nothing to do with them?”

“Yeah, I sort of do, actually.”

“Is people thinking we’re dating worse than not achieving your goal?”

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head frantically. “Oh my God, I’m not worried about me. I’m thinking about you. I don’t want to, like, I don’t know, mess things up for you. You have a lot on your plate.”

“You don’t need to worry. Go on a date with me, Halle. Live.”

Her bottom lip juts out while she considers it and I just watch her. The slow way her eyelashes brush against her skin when she blinks. How shiny her hair is when she tucks it behind her ear. Her big brown eyes staring at me. The way she’s actually smiling even as her mouth moves. Her mouth is moving. “Sorry, run that by me again.”

“I don’t want to be a burden. If you don’t have the time, we stop, promise?”

“Yes, Cap.”

She rolls her eyes, but I sense her begin to relax. She lets go of the death grip she’s had on her legs and removes her chin from her knees, letting her legs cross in front of her. I slide a little closer as she pulls out her phone, tilting it so I can see her open a notes app. I fight the urge to point out that she hasn’t changed her phone background from the picture of me in the bookstore. I watch her type “RULE BOOK” in bold letters along the top. “Okay, what do I need to write down?”

“Nothing. We don’t need a rule book.”

“Of course we do. Number one: you have to be honest with me if you’re too busy. Hockey and school are more important than inspiration for my silly book.”

I take the phone from her hands and huff. “New number one: we have to be honest with each other about how busy we are, and you have to stop belittling things that are important to you by calling them silly.” She reaches to take the phone out of my hand but I move it out of the way. “And number two: you have to stop being embarrassed around me. You won’t be able to tell me what you need for inspiration if you’re embarrassed about everything. I’ve seen four of my friends naked since you, by the way.”

This time she snatches the phone out of my hand, typing frantically. “Number two continued: we are not allowed to talk about the fact you’ve seen me naked ever again.” I try to take the phone back but she holds it in the air out of my reach. “Number three: if you want to date someone and our arrangement is uncomfortable for them—we can end it straightaway. I don’t want to ruin your chances with someone.”