Deep End(12)

I turn around. Lukas is walking toward us, and my first thought is he didn’t need to come here. I was going to deliver Pen to him. In front of his car.

But his barefoot stride never falters. The sun is a fuzzy halo around his short hair when he asks, “Should I drive you home?”

Pen regards him lovingly for a long, sluggish while—so long, I start wondering whether she’s much drunker than I originally believed. “Vandy, you’ve never formally met my ex-boyfriend, have you?”

And there is my second thought: this is clearly a messy breakup, a sore one that’s still being negotiated. And I want no part in it.

“She did.” Lukas’s impassible gaze flits to mine. “During her recruitment trip.”

No memory of it, but I nod anyway, glad I didn’t stand to shake his hand.

“Oh, that’s cool.” She shrugs. “Yeah, Luk, you can take me ho—”

Pen stops suddenly, with a gasp that turns into a smile so manic, unease slithers down my nape. “Oh my god, you guys. I just had the best idea in the fucking universe!” She glances at Lukas, at me, at Lukas again. She’s going to bring up something ridiculous that only sounds good to a drunk person. Let’s go to Taco Bell. Let’s prank call our middle school teachers. Let’s shave our eyebrows. I’m desperately looking for a gentle way to talk her out of karaoke—and then stop.

Because what Pen actually says is, “You two should have sex!”





CHAPTER 6


IGRIP THE SWING’S CHAIN HARD ENOUGH TO PERMANENTLY print it on my palm.

I gawk at Pen, slack-jawed. Then turn to Lukas, who seems as taken aback as me.

But he recovers quickly. His arms cross on his chest, and the corner of his lip curls upward. “Pen,” he chides calmly, like his ex is an unruly toddler. A kitten caught breaking into the treat drawer. “I’m taking you home.”

She ignores him. “No, no—it’s genius!”

“Is it.”

“Yes. Yes! How do you not see it? Oh my god. Of course you don’t. It’s because you don’t know.” She laughs and gestures inchoately. Her cheeks glow bright pink on her post-practice, scrubbed-clean face. Maybe Coach puts MDMA in his beer? “Luk, please don’t be mad, but . . . I had to tell Vandy about the stuff you’re into. Because it was all a mess, and I needed to talk about it with someone. I’m sorry, okay?” she cries, even though Lukas doesn’t seem particularly upset at the thought of me knowing his private business. Until: “But here’s the thing . . . Vandy’s into the same exact stuff as you!”

And that’s when I realize that, no .

Pen had not told Lukas about me. Because he turns to me and stares infinitely, lips parted, like I’ve suddenly shape-shifted into something new. Something instantly comprehensible to him.

I stare back, unable to breathe.

Even as Pen continues, “So you two should—well, no one should have sex. But since we’re all single here, I thought that . . .”

Lukas tears his eyes from mine. “Pen,” he says, firm, exuding a tolerant, condescending sort of patience. “Let’s go.”

Her eyebrows knit. “What? I think it’s a great idea!”

“Of course.” Lukas sounds so unperturbed, it actively adds to my distress. Why is he not experiencing mortification? Am I exhausting the North American supply? “I’m taking you home.”

“No! Luk, she is it. She’s the sandwich.”

He sighs. I don’t follow—then I do.

Sandwich. Sub.

Christ. I should not be witnessing the inside sex jokes of the golden couple of college swimming.

“It makes sense,” she insists, unsteady on her swing. “Think it through!”

“Okay. Let’s.” He nods like he’s actually contemplating the whole thing. “You and I break up, and a week later you come to me with recommendations on who I should be fucking next.” His eyes settle on me. Cold. Evaluating. “And you do the same for Scarlett. Out of the kindness of your heart.”

“I just thought it would be nice if we could all—”

“Be happily paired with our government-mandated fuck buddy?”

“Luk,” Pen bristles. “As the current holder of half a dozen world records, you’re a recognizable public figure who can’t just make a profile on a dating app and write a bucket list of kinky stuff.”

“But you fixed the issue by getting wasted and offering me your teammate. Who, by the way, hasn’t breathed in over a minute.”

He’s right. I suck in some air .

“Come on, Luk. I know you think she’s hot. You said so.”

Silence.

“And I see the way you look at her.”

A buzz of unease bursts in the back of my skull.

“How do I look at her?”

“You know how.”

He folds his arms on his chest. “Anything else I should know about future directions of my sex life? Where are Scarlett and I going to meet? What will we do first?”

Pen bolts to her feet. Sways her way to Lukas to press an index finger to his pecs.

“Luk, if you can’t understand my vision . . .” She bursts into laughter. “Whatever. Let’s go home.” She brushes past, but after about fifty feet she plops on Coach’s yard and lies on her back to sunbathe. “You guys, I love this time of the day!”