Dirty Thirty (Stephanie Plum, #30)(50)

I drove across town and dropped Nutsy off at Sissy’s house. Nutsy went straight to his bike, removed the cover, and took off for who-knows-where. I didn’t see anyone in the vicinity doing surveillance. I assumed Nutsy was safe.

“Considering he’s a clown, he isn’t a barrel of laughs,” Lula said. “Of course, he said he’s more of a mime, and they’re sort of creepy.”

Next stop was Lula’s apartment house. There was still sooty water in the gutters and the crime scene tape hadn’t been removed. A lone car was parked in front of the house. The fire marshal was working early. Probably had plans for later in the day. I parked behind the fire marshal’s car, and Lula, Bob, and I got out.

I ducked under the yellow tape and walked through the open front door.

“Hello?” I yelled.

Jeremy Gorden looked down at me from the second floor. “Oh God,” he said. “It’s you.”

“This wasn’t my fault,” I said to him.

“I know. I know,” he said. “It’s never your fault.”

“My coworker Lula lives in the second-floor apartment. Is it safe for her to come up?”

“Yes. Be careful on the stairs. They’re slippery.”

Lula, Bob, and I joined Jeremy on the second floor and Lula stepped into the charred mess that was her apartment.

“It looks to me like it started with a small incendiary device in the living room,” Jeremy said.

“So, this is arson,” I said. “How did the device get into her apartment?”

Jeremy shrugged. “I don’t know. My guess is someone broke in and set the device on the floor. No way to know for sure because the door was destroyed by the firefighters.”

Lula went to her closet. “Where’s all my clothes?” she asked. “There’s no clothes in here. No shoes. No nothing. There’s not even any clothes ashes.”

“No one has been in here as far as I can tell,” Jeremy said. “The tape was intact when I got here this morning.”

“My clothes are missing,” Lula said. “Someone stole my clothes and set my apartment on fire. I know who it was too. It was Grendel.”

“Who’s Grendel?” Jeremy asked.

“He’s an ogre and a demon,” Lula said. “He’s got an obsession with me, and he has anger-management issues. Usually, he lays waste to the mead hall, but lately he’s been stalking me.”

“The Mead Hall? Is that a new bar?” Jeremy asked.

“It’s in Denmark,” Lula said. “Its official name is Heorot, and it’s the seat of King Hrothgar’s rule. You’d know all about this if you played Beowulf.”

Jeremy looked at me and grimaced. “Okay then,” he said. “I guess that solves the mystery. I have to file my report. The structure seems safe. I’m going to have the tape removed. The department will get in touch with the rest of the tenants.”

“Thanks,” I said to Jeremy. “Have a good rest of the day.”

“Hunh,” Lula said when Jeremy disappeared down the stairs. “He didn’t believe me.”

“No one believes you.”

“Stupid Grendel,” Lula said.

“Here’s the plan,” I said to her. “It’s Sunday, but I have a key to the office, so you’re going to get your car and drive it to the office. Then you’re going to call one of those fire restoration companies and make arrangements for them to clean up your apartment. I’m sure they work on Sunday. Then you’re going to call your insurance company and ask to have an appraiser show up before the restoration people get there. Then you’re going to figure out where you’ll live until your apartment is okay.”

“What about Grendel?”

“Leave him another note. Tell him you want your clothes back.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I need a pen and a sticky pad.”

“One thing at a time,” I said.

Ranger called.

“It looks like you’re checking out Lula’s building,” he said. “How bad is it?”

“The fire was mostly limited to Lula’s apartment. Her apartment is trashed. The rest of the house has water and smoke damage. Jeremy said it was arson.”

“Did you bring anyone back with you?”

“I left Duncan Dugan in Maine, but I brought Nutsy back with me. It was his choice. He’s currently camped out at my place, along with Lula.”

“Have you informed Plover that Nutsy is in town?”

“No.”

There was silence on the other end.

“Are you smiling?” I asked him.

“Maybe a little,” he said.

Lula went to get her car out of the building’s parking area, and I drove to the office. It’s always weird for me to open the office. It’s Connie’s job. She’s supposed to be there when I arrive. The coffee is supposed to be waiting for me. The doughnuts are supposed to be waiting for me. The lights are supposed to be on.

Lula arrived a few minutes after I unlocked the door and switched the lights on.

“This is weird,” she said. “This isn’t right. Connie is supposed to be here. This feels wrong.”

My phone buzzed. It was Connie.