Don't Forget Me Tomorrow(42)
I left out the whole part where Paisley had instigated the whole thing.
“All I’m saying is you should keep your heart open to possibility.”
I didn’t have time to respond before the air got sucked from my lungs.
The presence covering me from behind was overwhelming.
Intense and harsh and so much stronger than it normally was.
The ground didn’t just shift a fraction this time, but it tipped far enough it made it difficult to keep my balance.
To remain steady.
Compelled, I looked over my shoulder.
Ryder hovered at the entryway.
Midnight in the light of day.
All rigid lines and untamed hair and wicked eyes that stroked over me like a rough caress. One done with callused, needy hands.
A shiver rocked through, and I swallowed it down, trying my best to ignore this strange, new energy that had taken his house hostage.
Dense and deep.
So thick it was hard to move through it.
It’d grown even worse since I’d come downstairs after I’d showered and gotten ready. I’d decided on a high-waisted pink dress with a tulle skirt that lent itself to one of those childhood princess fantasies. I’d paired it with matching pink pumps and did my hair in a high ponytail, and each time I shifted my head, the curls bounced around my shoulders.
I’d finished the look with glimmery eyeshadow and glossy, pink lips.
I’d stood in the mirror for about three minutes looking at myself because I felt so pretty.
Felt beautiful and fierce and strong.
But I wasn’t feeling all that strong when something that sounded like a groan emanated from Ryder, and I swore that he gnashed his teeth while he remained standing in the same spot staring at me.
“All right, Mom, I need to go so I can get Kayden settled before I leave.” I basically choked it.
God, what was happening to me?
I could almost see her frowning from across the line. “Is Ryder sure he wants to watch him tonight? You know I don’t mind having him here.”
My stomach twisted, and I was answering quietly, still trapped under the weight of that glinty, silvered gaze. “He said there was no reason for me to drag him over there since it’s already close to Kayden’s bedtime, and he’s going to be here anyway.”
“Okay, then. Just let him know I’m here if he needs anything.”
“I will. I’ll see you when I drop Kayden off in the morning.”
“You have extra fun tonight.” There was no missing the teasing suggestion in her voice.
“Eww, Mom.”
She cracked up like it was hysterical.
“Seriously, go and relax and enjoy yourself.”
“I will. Love you.”
I ended the call, and that same, unsure, anxious energy that had rained for the last two days began to pour down.
A torrent.
I cleared my throat and lifted the sippy cup I’d filled, hoping to distract from the strain that pulled between us. “Here’s Kayden’s sippy cup.” I walked to the fridge and put it inside as I gave instructions, “He’s already eaten so he should be good. He can drink that on the couch while you read him a story, but then he needs to brush his teeth after. He’s going to try to convince you to refill it and let him take it into his crib, but don’t let him swindle you into that.”
There was no stopping the soft tug of affection when I said it.
There was no stopping the one that pulled at Ryder, either.
“Who knew a tiny tot could be such a manipulator. Kid has mad skills.”
“Be careful not to let him use them on you.” Why did my voice have to come out so shaky and hushed?
“I’ve got it, Dakota. You don’t have to worry about him with me.”
It wasn’t like he’d never watched him before, on the nights when there’d been an issue at the café and I’d needed someone to watch him for a little while. That and the couple times I’d gone out with Paisley and the rest of our friends, and he’d offered to stay with him so I could have a night of fun.
Claiming that he didn’t get to spend enough time with my son.
That was the thing about Ryder. He was always giving. So caring. Willing to drop whatever he was doing to help out when I needed it.
But tonight, it felt different. It wasn’t close to being easy the way it used to be.
No, not when Ryder’s eyes kept tracking over my dress, and my breaths had turned thin and shallow.
“I know. It’s just…weird leaving him like this,” I admitted.
“Is this what you want? To leave him like this? Do you want to go on this date?” It felt like a challenge.
A frown curled my brow, and a bit of that old anger and rejection rose to the surface. “Isn’t it what I should do, Ryder? Move on with my life? Find someone to love me because I’ve been aching to love someone for a long, long time. You told me I deserved it.”
Then a few hours later he’d been texting me asking me if I’d liked watching him fuck his hand before he’d told me to lock my door.
But he hadn’t come, had he?
I had no way to make any sense of him. Of what he wanted. And I was finished letting these unfulfilled emotions master me.
Still, I hated the way my response had come out sounding like a plea. It felt a little too close to the way I’d opened myself to him once before, and I snapped my chin up like it could cover me in a hedge of protection.