Dragged to the Wedding(62)
James couldn’t help chuckling. “You know, you have a real interesting postcoital chatter. No kind words or sweet nothings—just wham, bam, go to sleep.”
Daniel groaned softly. “I’m right here holding you. I know it’s not the most romantic notion, but...” Daniel slowly rolled to the side of the bed. “It’s after midnight, and who knows what time your sister is going to show up in the morning, raring to go and full of nervous energy. So you and I need to get some rest.” He snuggled closer, head on the pillow, arm across James’s chest. “My head is still spinning with everything that happened today.”
“Your head?” James sighed. “I feel like I have whiplash. It’s been one damned thing after another these last few days, and now... I was trying to avoid all this drama.”
Daniel stroked his chest and over his shoulder. “Relax and let it go for a while. There’s nothing that you or any of us can do about what’s in the past. All we can do is handle what comes next, and you can’t do that if you’re wide awake all night. Whatever argument your mom puts up or however she decides to act, that’s on her now. She knows the truth and who you really are. If she can’t deal with that, then it’s her problem.”
“But she’s my mother,” James whispered as a sense of dread came over him.
“Yes, she is. And I heard what you told her, and you were right. She should love you unconditionally and accept you for the incredible man you are. Maybe we shouldn’t have pretended that I was a woman, but she needs to accept that you’re a gay man and love you for that. It’s that simple. You deserve that sort of love. We all do.” Daniel gently patted his chest. “As much as I hate to say it, we don’t always get that kind of support. But I’ve spent time with Grace, and I think she really does love all of you. She may not understand being gay, and I’m sure that she’s heard her entire life that it’s wrong...” Daniel’s hand grew still.
“What are you saying?” James asked.
“That maybe there’s a fight going on inside her. That she’s going to struggle, but most likely, if you help her understand, the love she has for you will win out.” Daniel shifted, and James turned to see him peering into his eyes. “Your mom has heard all her life that homosexuality is a sin and that it’s wrong, and today she found out that her only son is gay. It’s going to be really hard for her.”
“Yeah...and she’s going to expect me to change to fit her beliefs,” James groused.
“Of course she is.” Daniel lay back down. “You changing the way you are eliminates the conflict. Her world is set to rights, and she didn’t have to do a damned thing. It’s all on you, and she doesn’t have to search her own soul to figure out if she’s right or not. There’s no effort on her part.” Daniel chuckled. “Most people will take the easy way out, and if they can get someone else to do the work, then all the better.” He patted James’s chest. “Do your best to go to sleep. If you rest, you’ll be in a better position to go to battle with her.”
“I’m glad you think this is funny.”
Daniel stared seriously. “I don’t. Tomorrow you’ll have to have some of the most difficult conversations of your life. You’ll have to explain who you are to your family. That’s frightening.” Daniel slid closer. “It isn’t funny at all. I was only laughing because I’m glad it’s not me.”
James lay still a second and then rolled over, running his fingers along Daniel’s ribs. “I swear I’ll tickle you into submission.”
“Your mother,” Daniel gasped, and James pulled back. “That was really mean.”
“Not as bad as you picking on me.” James fake pouted, and Daniel snorted, clearly not buying it. “Come on, let’s try to get some sleep.” James held Daniel and closed his eyes, sleep coming to him much quicker than he’d thought it would.
* * *
Daniel was still asleep when James woke and carefully got out of bed. He needed the bathroom, and his mouth was desert dry. After dressing quickly and taking care of business, he padded barefoot to the kitchen for some coffee, where he found his mother already up, sitting at the kitchen table. James said nothing and went to the coffeepot to pour a mug. It was too early for an argument or to discuss the things they needed to talk about. “Holly’s wedding is today,” he began. “Let’s just concentrate on that.”
His mother didn’t reply, and James took her silence for agreement, leaving the kitchen to sit in the living room alone. Everything was a mess, but he had to concentrate on what had to happen today, and one of those things was to figure out an officiant. James set down his mug and quietly returned to the bedroom where he couldn’t help himself and watched Daniel sleep for a few minutes, then got his laptop and exited the room, closing the door as silently as he could.
When James returned to the living room, he found his mother sitting on the sofa, apparently waiting for him. “I think we need to clear the air now.” Her lips were thin and her eyes hard. “Was that little display last night for my benefit? It was clear enough what the two of you were doing.”
“Oh please, Mother. Are you upset about what we were doing or the fact that you obviously weren’t?” James regretted the comment as soon as it crossed his lips. “Sorry. That was uncalled for.” He still had to stifle his smile.