Emily Wilde's Compendium of Lost Tales (Emily Wilde, #3)(94)
12th February
It’s difficult to know precisely how long I spent in the Veil—certainly it seemed no more than an hour. But when I returned it was nearing twilight, which did not surprise me. I could see it was the same day, for a few tiny embers still lurked below the burnt wood of my campfire. The door to the Veil had vanished, and the grove was empty—the Hidden king had not bothered to wait for me, which was a relief. Most likely he assumed I was dead, but it was also possible that he simply was not interested enough in the outcome to trouble himself. After all, I had promised to return to him once I’d done away with Wendell, and what reason did he have to doubt me? He’d swallowed the story of my undying love for him.
Well! I do not think I shall be able to return to Ljosland, for I do not see him forgiving me a second time.
My exhaustion was beyond comprehension, and I could scarcely manage to build a fire. Arna lay insensible in the snow; I constructed the fire close to where she lay, left a little cup of melted snow beside her, draped her in a blanket from the tent, and hoped for the best. Then I staggered into the tent with Shadow and was asleep before my head touched my pallet.
Should I have been more concerned that Wendell’s stepmother would murder me as I slept? I don’t think so. Not only on account of her weakened state, but because she had nothing to gain by my death, and everything to lose should Wendell learn of what she had done. He had proven himself greater than she, for he could control the Veil, and she could not. I did not believe she would be in a hurry to return to the place.
Such bloodless calculations concerning my physical safety in the company of a vengeful faerie queen had not pleased Lilja and Margret when I described them before I left, but they were enough for me, and my sleep was untroubled.
My stomach woke me sometime before dawn, growling ferociously. I devoured half of Poe’s cakes and all my remaining water, then scribbled out the previous journal entry—yes, I am aware that making this a priority might sound strange. But I was in such scholarly terror of forgetting anything I had seen that I knew I would not sleep easy until I had written it down. I believe I fell asleep again with the pen in my hand. Oh, how Wendell would mock me if he knew! And yet I have so many ideas for the papers I will write about Dark Faerie, as I have decided to call it—indeed, I could write a book on the subject! That the Folk are in such terror of the place makes it inherently fascinating, and yet, now that I have ventured there, I am not convinced there is anything particularly exceptional about it. In fact, one of the O’Donnell brothers’ stories speaks of a faerie realm where it is always night, inhabited by monstrous Folk. As do several Russian tales—the names escape me at present—and one from the Welsh Marches.
Lord, I am rambling. The papers can wait—for now.
When I woke again, it was late morning, and Shadow was still asleep at my side, snoring lightly. It was a fine Ljosland day: the sun was out, setting little jewels of light amidst the snow, and the wind was still, the boughs quiescent. I found the old queen awake, but lying in a heap beneath her blanket. She had added wood to the fire at least once in the night, for it still flickered.
“We must return to the door,” I said, and explained to her about Poe and the key he’d given me. She made no reply, but pushed herself upright and sat looking very small and forlorn, as well as younger than she’d seemed to me before, at the height of her power—only a few years older than I. I couldn’t tell if she was in shock or contemplating some foolhardy plot to escape.
I returned to the tent to rouse Shadow, and was terrified to find that he would not wake immediately. I had to shake him several times, murmuring his name and rubbing at his ears in the way he liked, my voice increasingly desperate, because while I had known his time was approaching—oh, yes, I had known it, and woken in dread many a night to listen to his whistling snores at the foot of the bed—I could not accept that it would be now. But at last he gave a grunt and opened his eyes. Once he saw me, he heaved himself to his feet, as if determined to establish that he was as hale as ever, and licked my face.
I hugged him, my vision fogged with tears of relief. How I wished we were at the end of our journey! I murmured apologies and praise, rubbing Shadow’s neck. How dear he is to me. I cannot write this without feeling my eyes well again.
After I returned the tent to its former iteration and stamped the fire out, Arna allowed me to help her stand. I held out Poe’s key, and a heartbeat later we were in his grove again.
Poe was nowhere to be seen, nor was his mother, thank God, though the grove was filled with the smell of stewed apples.
“Would you care to bathe?” I asked the queen, motioning to the hot spring.
Again, she made no response, only watched me inscrutably. I found this unnerving—apparently, no amount of soot or stink will make me easy in the old queen’s company—but affected indifference. I helped her undress and step into the spring. I did the same, scrubbing myself quickly to end the awkwardness of the experience, then dried myself with one of the blankets. I’d brought one clean dress with me; the tent contained no spare clothes, but after fishing about for a while, I unearthed a stylish bathrobe of black silk and dense flannel that I supposed Arna could wear.
The old queen, meanwhile, after scrubbing herself from head to foot with some of the abrasive sand at the bottom of the spring, sat there, motionless and sweating, for a full ten minutes.