Ensnared (Brutes of Bristlebrook, #1)(110)

“Us,” Beau clarifies, and Dom glares at him.

“No!” I push down a flair of panic, shaking my head. “No, I’m not choosing anyone. I care about all of you. I’m attracted . . . I mean, Lucky is so beautiful, and free, and I just laugh, you know? Every time I’m with him. And he really listens to me, for hours and hours he listens.” I smile, warmed through just thinking about him. “And Jayk, well, he pretends to be so brash. He even believes it, I think. But he’s patient—we took apart the washing machine together, even though I’m sure it took twice as long to have me there. He’s so smart, and he doesn’t give himself half as much credit as he deserves. And Jasper—”

Well. I don’t need to talk about Jasper.

Feeling their eyes on me, I shake my head. “And then there’s you . . . ” Shyness slips over me like a shadow, and I look up at Beau from under my lashes, then dart a glance at Dom.

The green and brown in Beau’s eyes dance together. “What, no compliments for us?”

I lift a hand to hide my smile, feeling my cheeks color like a sunrise. “I—I like you too.”

“You like me?” Beau teases. “Like, like like me, or?”

Huffing a laugh, I meet his eyes. I take a fortifying breath. “You make me feel safe, and I’ve not felt that often. A few weeks ago, I didn’t think anyone could ever make me feel that way. I’ve been fighting my fear my whole life. Since coming to Bristlebrook, I’ve felt safe, and it’s given me the chance to think, really think, about what I want for myself for the first time ever. And I’m trusting you to listen to that.”

Beau’s teasing smile fades, and he’s staring at me now with the same intensity he had when we were in the river, while they dragged my pain and confusion out of me. Slowly, not breaking eye contact, he nods.

I nod back, relieved. Resolved. “Jasper told me that some people, some . . . submissives . . . like to be dominated all the time, others not, that everyone negotiates their own boundaries.”

When I glance at Dom, he finally looks at me, serious and introspective. “He’s right. You want to renegotiate?”

“I do, yes.”

“Good.”

I blink. “Good?”

Dom sighs. “Eden, there’s a reason I don’t take on soft spoken submissives. There’s just too much risk of getting it wrong.

I’m not always great at picking up on signals. I need to trust that they’ll speak up if anything isn’t working for them. If they’re uncomfortable or unhappy.” He meets my eyes. “Renegotiation is always on the table.”

My mouth drops open as I think that through. “Just like that?” I ask in a soft voice.

At the reference to yesterday’s conversation, Dom’s lips quirk. “Just like that.” He directs a tense-jawed look at Beau.

“Your dominants should have explained this all to you.”

“We,” Beau replies, his tone dripping with poisoned honey, “haven’t had a chance to sit down and have a proper conversation about all this. Keep gettin’ dragged away.”

Dom rolls his eyes.

Before they can keep bickering, I lift a hand to get their attention. “I don’t want to be a full-time submissive,” I say firmly.

“I hate having rules about my life dictated to me. I want to be able to speak my mind without worrying about the consequences.

I want authority over my time and my choices. Always. ”

Dom considers me, golden eyed and dangerous. “And your body? Do you want full authority over that?”

My mouth goes dry, and it’s a struggle not to look away. “Not . . . always.”

His mouth curves up on one side, just a little, as I try not to fidget.

Beau rubs his chest, then glances at Dom. “We never wanted a full-time submissive. Not really. This arrangement was never meant to be all about kink. It was meant to be the start of something. A relationship.”

I purse my lips primly. “And do you always start your relationships by lying? Or were you being experimental?”

Dom snorts, and Beau laughs uncomfortably, then bites his lip. They’re still red from kissing me senseless. He edges in close to me and shoots me a sinful look under his lashes. “That was all Dom’s idea,” he confides. “I voted for honesty.”

“Seriously?” Dom mutters dryly. “Unbelievable.”

The heated way Beau’s looking at me makes me shiver. It takes me longer than I’m proud of for my brain to start functioning again, but I finally manage to work up a frown.

And I really hope it looks at least somewhat disapproving and not just desperately aroused.

“Don’t blame him—you should have been honest regardless. You’re responsible for your own decisions. You’re an independent adult.” My gaze slips down to his bare, deliciously firm chest. An X-rated, beautiful, well-developed, well-endowed . . . I catch his smirk and snap my eyes away, cheeks flushing. “You— You’re just as much at fault.”

Dom snickers, and I twist to give him a stern look. “And don’t you laugh, you lied to me too. All of you did. It’s incredibly patronizing.”

His smile fades. “I was trying to keep you safe.”

I stifle a sigh. “Yes, well, as darling and”—I wave an exasperated hand—“macho as the impulse is, I’m not some fragile ornament, or something for you to keep. I know you mean well, but the lying has to stop. You need to trust me to be sensible.”