Fake Skating(9)

Of us, back then.

When we were younger

We didn’t know how it would be



“Next song,” I shouted at my phone.

Everything about this sudden social event was bugging the shit out of me. So they’d moved to Southview—why the fuck was this a big deal?

People moved all the time, for God’s sake.

My breath hissed out between my teeth when I lifted my shirt over my head because shiiiit.

It was getting so much worse.

I could handle my shoulder’s fuckery when I was playing, but for some reason, stupid things like lifting my arm over my head while getting dressed were nearly dropping me lately.

Even with the steady rotation of ibuprofen, Tylenol, and ice.

I was setting my phone next to the sink and about to step into the shower when I got a text.

Vinny: Zack’s bonfire is tonight and it sounds like everyone’s going The word “everyone,” when paired with “bonfire,” was no longer part of my vocabulary.

I was supposed to be keeping my nose clean.

I neededto keep my nose clean and steer clear of any parties that could get out of control.

But as I stepped under the hot water, turning to soak the throbbing shoulder that scared the shit out of me because I couldn’t afford—literally or figuratively—to be taken out by an injury, I was tempted.

Getting a little bit numb suddenly didn’t sound like such a bad idea.





CHAPTER THREE Dani




It looks exactly the same.

Grandpa Mick put the truck into park and I felt transported back in time as I stared at the house.

My favorite place in the world.

Or, well… the place formerly known as.

The Barczewskis lived in a small Cape Cod–style house, gray with white shutters and a curvy sidewalk leading to the door that was always lined with flowers—daylilies and roses—in the summertime.

Today it was lined with knee-high snowbanks, yet it still managed to somehow look ridiculously charming.

But also terrifying.

Intimidating.

I was so unbelievably nervous to ring that doorbell.

I was never at ease in social situations. Ever.I overthought each word that was spoken and worried too much about the tiniest of details. I stressed over what everyone was thinking about me, how I looked, what I was doing; on a normal day, social gatherings gave me anxiety.

But tonight—this felt ten times worse.

The idea of reuniting with these people whom I’d loved but who were now strangers was even scarier.

Mostly because I didn’t know what things would be like with Alec.

I stared out the window and just wished I knew if it was a distant memory for him now, where he barely remembered our couple-few years of correspondence and his departure from it, or if it would be all he thought of when he looked at me.

There’s the postcard-sending dork.

God, I couldn’t believe I was about to see him.

And how was I supposed to look at his always-readable face and decipher his thoughts when I hadn’t seen that face in five years? And this was going to be happening in real time while the rest of the family watched us?

It was too much, and I was starting to breathe too fast.

Calm down,I told myself. I inhaled through my nose and counted slowly, trying to remember all the ways to stop myself from spiraling.

“You okay?”

I looked away from the window to see Grandpa Mick watching me in the rearview mirror. His face was as serious as it’d been all afternoon, but there also wasn’t any judgment in his expression.

“Yes,” I said, clearing my throat. “I’m fine.” Though I was really embarrassed that he seemed to know something was up with me.

“I’m so excited,” my mom said, jumping out of the car and slamming the door.

She deserved this excitement. After so many years of living far away from her friends and family, she was like a kid at Christmas about this move.

And I got it.

My mom was a social person who’d settled into a solitary, unsocial life for a very long time. It’d pretty much been the three of us—Dad, Mom, and me—as we moved from base to base, and even though that might’ve been normal for me and the only life I’d ever known, it’d weighed on her.

She’d had a lotof arguments with my dad about it.

Just as I was climbing out of the truck, the front door flew open and there was Sarah. She yelled my mom’s name and ran down the walkway, not stopping until she’d wrapped my mom in a massive hug. The two of them squealed and said unintelligible words that made my mom look so damn happy.

Once again I glanced at my grandpa and he was looking back at me. It felt like we shared… somethingin our silent exchange, watching my mom squeal in joy.

Sarah hugged me next, smelling—as always—like dryer sheets. She said into my hair, “Look at you; you’re so gorgeous, Dani!”

I lovedSarah and hugged her back so hard.

“And how are you, Mick?” she said to my grandpa.

I think he might’ve said fine, but it was more of a grunt, to which she replied, “Oh good.”

I wanted to laugh for the first time since we’d pulled into town.

“Dani, it’s about damn time!” Big John was standing inside the doorway, and it was impossible not to grin as he pulled me into a big bear hug. He’d always been my favorite uncle, even though we weren’t technically related, and just hearing the long northern vowels made me feel warm inside.