Five(61)

“The train’s right there!” Medical Student warns and pleads to Sonny, reaching his hand out to him from the platform edge. As soon as he says this, the train lets out a warning blast of its horn. To Do List and Bad Back, standing behind him, flinch when they hear it.

“He’s trying to kill himself!” Emma calls, running toward the trio, passing on Mrs. Worth’s message.

And then she shouts, “Liam? Liam!” when she sees him a bit apart from them, trying to stand up.

“Danny,” he groans, hands on his head. “Hold on, I’m coming.”

“Emma! Emma!” Gideon, who has now reached his mother, shouts, tugging at her trouser leg. “I want a different show! This is a baby show.”

“Not now!” she scolds Gideon. Then, pleading with Medical Student, she says, “She said he wants to die, you have to get him!” and then, pleading with Sonny, “Please!”

The train gets closer. Sonny stays still. Gideon steps back from his mother and watches.

“Should we get him?” Bad Back asks Medical Student, who cannot think.

“Um, hey, c’mon, hey!” Bad Back shouts, uncertainly and without conviction, waving a hand at Sonny.

Gideon homes in on Liam, who has finally stood up, a few steps away from the group that is focused on Sonny.

“Liam, Biam, new show please, this one’s for babies,” Gideon says holding out his tablet to Liam, who is dizzy and unsteady but upright. Liam’s back is to the tracks, his feet on the yellow line, close to the edge. He looks at Gideon, who is so small. Liam tries to focus his eyes, he knows the child, but he can only say, “Danny?”

Sonny, despite the pleas of Medical Student, Emma, and Bad Back, is paralyzed by a second blast of the train horn. The train is so close now, they can all feel the rumble under their feet, the vibration of the horn’s volume reverberating in their chests. With every second the wheels on the track are closer, the hum and puff of the engine are louder, the face of the terrified driver through the windshield is clearer.

This is it, thinks Sonny, dropping to his knees.

The train driver has been on trains that have hit people before, he has comforted his friends who have left the job because of these events, but so far it’s never been him driving, until today. He looks at the people he can see up ahead and issues another blast from the train after triggering the emergency brake. He knows from his training that it will take at least thirty seconds to stop and that this will not save the young man in front of his train. There is nothing else he can do as a single tear runs down his face but pray, “Zdrowa? Maryjo, ?aski pe?na,” Hail Mary, full of grace.

Seeing what is about to happen, Emma whips around, finds Gideon, and shouts, “C’mon!” grabbing his arm roughly.

“You’re hurting me!” Gideon whines, throwing his tablet to the concrete, struggling against her.

“C’mon!” she says, pulling Liam’s hand, pulling him from the platform edge. If you took their photo, they would look, for just this one second, like a family holding hands.

“That hurts!” Gideon complains, suddenly hysterical. Emma lets go of Liam’s hand and grasps her son from behind, under his arms, pulling his back to her, restraining him. But his legs are still free. Gideon kicks her once. Twice.

Liam stands in front of them. “You’re hurting Danny!” he says, confused, concussed, as he tries to unclasp Emma’s arms from around her child. Now that Liam’s close enough, Gideon kicks again, getting him in the thigh. The boy hears the train, the people shouting on the platform. He wants to see. He lands a fourth kick to Emma’s knee.

“Fuck!” she swears, and unable to hold him any longer, she lets go of him. Liam, unbalanced by Gideon’s escape from his mother, sways backward. He stumbles toward the yellow line, a step beyond it, a step closer to the platform edge, his back to the oncoming train.

The train lets out a blast. And then another. And another.

The person about to die thinks, “Wait, not yet—”

“Stop!” Emma shouts at Gideon, a few feet away from her, standing on the yellow line, then stepping past it.

“Oh my God!” To Do List shrieks, her hands over her bloody face. “C’mon, c’mon!” Bad Back calls out nervously to Sonny. “Man on the tracks!” Gideon mimics and points.

“Don’t do that!” Liam warns, and reaches for Gideon.

The person about to die thinks, “Now? No—”

Ten.

“God help us,” Mrs. Worth—the daughter, the doctor, the old woman—lying alone, whispers to herself.

Nine.

“Move!” Bad Back pleads with Sonny.

“I can’t,” Sonny—the fuck-up, the lover, the gambler—says, listening for his mother.

Eight.

The person about to die thinks, “Please, God—”

Seven.

“Get off me!” Gideon—the psycho, the genius, the child—shouts as Liam grasps his arm.

Six.

“Danny!” Liam—the savior, the narcissist, the businessman—calls to Gideon, seeing his brother but reaching for his son.

Five.

“Don’t do this!” Medical Student begs Sonny, and jumps.

Four.

The person about to die thinks, “I can’t go, please—”