Give Me a Sign(57)
So much for feeling grown-up this summer. I can only imagine how my parents would react if I got fired from this job for sneaking out late at night to see a guy.
“And I doubt they’d be keen to hear why,” Gary finishes.
“It won’t happen again,” I assure him.
“Good. Ethan already interpreted my conversation with Isaac, too. So you’re not being singled out here.” Gary looks around to the two damaged cabins and slides a hand down his face, stifling a yawn. “What a night.”
“Yeah.” I’m not sure if I’m allowed to go to sleep yet.
“Okay,” he says, nodding. “Go on. If Phoebe needs extra rest tomorrow, you two can hang out here for a little while. Just coordinate with Simone.”
I finally crash back into bed a few minutes later. I lie on my stomach and stick my face into my pillow, muffling a groan.
“Lilah,” Phoebe calls out in a tone that suggests she’s called my name a few times and no longer cares if any other campers hear her.
I hold out my phone and light her face with the screen. “Yeah, sorry. You okay? Gary said we can sleep in if you need to.”
“Good. Are you in trouble?”
“No, I don’t think so.” I ponder this for a minute. “But it was a close one. You know—”
Phoebe drops her head back to her pillow, apparently already fast asleep, and a text from Isaac pops up on my phone.
Isaac: sorry :/ tonight was fun until we got in trouble. see you tomorrow.
Since I’ve been so worried about camp not having enough funding and proving myself as a junior counselor, I never even considered being sent home early was a possibility. We’ll have to stick to hanging out during official break time. I really like Isaac, but I can’t jeopardize my time at camp again.
Chapter Twenty
Natasha shakes me awake in the morning. She climbs up and sits on my bunk uninvited. Mackenzie and the other girls are already on their way to breakfast.
“What are you doing here?” I sign and say through a yawn.
“Why are you not up yet?” she signs.
“Simone texted me earlier to stay here with Phoebe.” I look through the wooden slats to confirm that Phoebe is still asleep in her bunk. “What’s up?” I ask Natasha.
“We need to talk.” She looks mad. Great. It has to be about last night. What’s it to her? Her signing is too fast for me to follow, especially this early in the morning.
I hesitate, trying to recall any of her motions to figure out what she just signed, but I end up having to ask, “Again, please.”
She rolls her eyes and adds voice to her signing. “Don’t hurt Isaac. He’s not really as confident as he seems here.”
I shake my head, eyebrows narrowed, questioning what she’s talking about.
“You don’t know him in the real world. He’s had to deal with a ton of jerks at school, always fighting his way out of messed-up situations. And girls have tried to date him, but they don’t actually bother to try to communicate with him or really get to know him, so he’s got a lot of trust issues, especially with hearing people. So as his best friend, I’m telling you—be careful.”
This explains why Isaac would be cautious around relationships. It puts into perspective his hesitation earlier this summer and what he said about wanting to make sure he really knows someone before he dates them.
“Okay, but that’s not me,” I say, feeling defensive and a little tired of having to prove myself. “And you know that. I wouldn’t be part of that problem. I like him, and he clearly likes me, and you two are friends, and I was kinda hoping that you and I were getting to be friends, too. So why don’t you trust me instead of threatening me? Isaac can take care of himself.”
Natasha shakes her head. “I’m not threatening you. I’m warning you.”
“Warning me? About what?”
She climbs down from the bunk, considering her words. She stops on the ladder when her head is almost beneath the top bar and says, “He searches for reasons to shut people out. When relationships get hard, he distances himself. Just know that.”
It’s strange to hear this from Natasha, because she’s incredibly guarded herself and Isaac’s close friend. How many of those other girls had a similar confrontation with Natasha? Is she telling me all this because she’s rooting for my relationship or against it? I’m not sure, and I’m too exhausted to process all this right now. “Okay,” I sign, nodding slowly before collapsing back onto my pillow.
I guess I’m different at camp, too. Sometimes it seems like my friends from school don’t really know me or how to communicate with me. But at the same time, have I been open enough with them about what I need? I’ve never really asked them for support or accommodations.
As much as I roll my eyes whenever the hearing itinerant teaches me to “advocate for myself” in class, which puts the burden on me, maybe a little bit of advocacy within my own relationships wouldn’t hurt.
* * *
At lunch, Ethan waves me over. Worried it’ll be about last night, I motion that I need a minute and fill up my water bottle first, taking a deep, stabilizing breath.
I approach Ethan’s table, apologies already pouring from my mouth. But he gestures for me to stop. “Hey, you heard from Gary, you know what’s up and what not to do going forward. We don’t need to go over it again,” he says and signs.