Good Game (The System, #1) (66)

I move forward as she proceeds to drop the dress to the ground, the shimmering fabric reflecting the LED lights in my room.

I run a finger over her hip, and she swats it away, half turning her body to me.

“I don’t hate you, but I’m still mad at you.”

“I know.”

She holds up the T-shirt and shorts, assessing them briefly before tossing them back on the bed. Instead, she shoulders past me, one of her breasts grazing my arm. She walks, completely naked, to my closet and rummages through it herself. My length thickens at the sight, want needling under my skin. I have to readjust myself for some relief.

She pulls out a large The System T-shirt and shrugs it over her head. It reaches her mid thigh, the sleeves hitting her elbows. She looks at herself in my mirror and smiles, satisfied. Then she moseys back to my bed, lifting the covers and crawling inside.

I move to sit on the edge of the bed, and it dips below my weight.

“I couldn’t tell you, Stevie.”

“I know.”

She brings her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them.

“I know, and that makes it more frustrating. Because I can’t really be mad at you for not telling me. We’re not even officially dating; why would you have told me this secret. A secret that virtually no one knows. One people would pay for. One, it seems, Sydney would murder to keep.”

I keep silent, not interrupting. I let her talk it through, feel out her emotions.

“But I still feel lied to, and I’m still hurt. I feel like I was tricked, like I was played with. I was vulnerable with you in two different ways. I was falling for one guy while lusting over another, telling myself to not feel guilty over it, only to learn they’re one and the same.” Her brows scrunch then. “Actually, I suppose that is kind of a win-win situation.”

She shoves her forehead against her knees and lets out a long, loud groan.

“Why does this have to be so goddamn confusing?”

She stays like that for a minute before I scoot forward and rub my hand up and down her back. I still don’t say anything, letting her soak it all in. Giving her what little comfort I can without words.

I want to say everything. I want to tell her it was all real. Everything she experienced with Aleks, everything with Blade, they were both me. That I came this close to bringing her back here the night at the club, saying fuck it all, just like Parker did. To showing her the truth because I wanted to let her in.

Because in the short period of time that I’ve known her, she has completely crushed my world and rebuilt it around herself. My universe doesn’t revolve around the sun, it revolves around Stevie. Seeing her smile is like the stars lighting up the night sky. She’s the moon and I’m the tide; she pulls me in when she’s near, and when she’s away, I crave her touch.

She lifts her head, the mascara around her caramel eyes smudged.

“What happens now, Blade?”

“Now, you decide how we move on, little dove.”

Her brows pinch together. I grab her hands, pulling them away from her knees, holding them in my own.

“You swept into my life one night and disappeared without a trace. Everywhere I went, I searched for your face. For the chance that the fates would cause our paths to cross again. It drove me nuts, Stevie. And then it happened: I found you again, and again, and again.” I squeeze her hands. “Whether it was Blade or Aleksander, it was me. It was real, every text, every touch, every kiss, everything.”

She blushes then, and I smile. I live for her blushes, for when she gets shy or nervous.

“I wish I could have told you, but I had to think about more than myself. The System is my everything, our everything. It’s what we all rely on. As selfish as I can be at times, I know where the line is.”

She squeezes my hand.

“I want to be with you, Stevie. I want to see where this can go. I trust you, and maybe that’s silly after only knowing you for two months. But every morning I look forward to those little texts you send, and I can’t imagine a world where they just stop.”

She bites her lip, eyes glistening.

“I trust you, too. And I would never betray your secret, or either of the guys’. NDA or not, that’s just not me.” She lets out a stuttering breath, her voice small. “I want to see where this can go, too. I’m scared, don’t get me wrong. You’re the gaming world’s number one heartthrob—”

“Actually, I’m only in the top five.”

“Oh my god.” She shoves me back. “I’m serious. It’s like dating an actor, something I swore to myself I would never do. But…I can’t imagine going to bed without seeing your goodnight texts. It would feel like a hole in my life. So, I’m trusting you, Aleksander Knight. I’m giving you my heart. I just ask that you take care of it.”

“I’d sooner rip my own heart out than shatter yours, Stephanie Andwell.”

I hold her chin, eyes flicking to her soft lips. She smiles, and it’s the confirmation I need. I start softly, a bare brushing of lips. Then I drink her in slowly.

Kissing Stevie is like drowning in an ocean. The pressure builds around you, dulling every sense as it burns you from the inside out. Just when you think it’s the end, when you begin to run out of breath, you gasp that one last time and slip into euphoric oblivion. It’s a heady bliss.