Good at Being Alive(88)
I prop the camera on the counter and turn on the water before I push my jeans to the floor. Behind me, he groans.
“Hmmm,” I say, turning toward the phone as I pull my shirt overhead. “Nothing is coming to mind.”
“Jesus,” he rasps, crossing his office to shut the door.
“You don’t actually expect phone sex when the crew is twenty feet away?” I whisper, unclasping my bra.
“Yes,” he grunts, his eyes dark, his lids heavy. “I absolutely do. Tell them to leave. Put the call on speaker and I’ll tell them.”
I shake my head. “For now, you’ll just need to picture this: us in that shower with me on my knees. You could be as messy as you want.”
“Fuck me, Rebecca,” he says. “Tell them to get out, right fucking now, then climb on that counter and spread your legs.”
“Make me,” I reply, blowing him a kiss as I climb into the shower.
If he didn’t miss me before, I guarantee he’s missing me now.
* * *
? ? ?
I wake late in the afternoon, blinking in surprise. Something…crashed? I pad from the bedroom to discover LJ and Sean playing a game that involves throwing a beach ball from the pool into the kitchen sink. I’m not sure if they’ve gotten it in, but they have managed to knock over a bottle of tequila.
“Guys,” I call, holding the broken bottle aloft. “Your game is done.”
“Sorry, Mom!” calls LJ.
They laugh like naughty schoolboys. I’m muttering as I search the kitchen for a broom and…
What the fuck is happening right now? Am I the responsible one here? It is, perhaps, the first time in my life when I haven’t been the idiot in the pool with too many margaritas in my system, making the bad decisions.
Which isn’t to say I’m done making bad decisions. But perhaps I’m done committing to that as my entire persona. Nobody wins if I stay small now, but somebody definitely loses. I’m tired of it being me.
I walk down a palm-lined road into town for snacks, then join the crew for a catered dinner out on the patio as the sun sets. The mood is celebratory—Madeira is our final shoot, aside from the marathon a few weeks from now. A relief for everyone here but me.
Between then and now, Theo won’t really have much of a reason to see me, and I’m not sure what happens to us then. I already miss my fake husband, who no longer feels fake at all and won’t be my husband much longer, so what’s it going to be like when there’s nothing left to pretend?
Slowly, people disperse. Only Sean and LJ remain by the time it’s dark. We close the doors and sit in the living room to keep out the bugs, and LJ is scrolling through Hulu while Sean closes the blinds, which must mean they’re planning to stay.
“Have you watched The Ring?” asks LJ. “It’s scary as shit.”
“I’m not sure if I want to watch a movie that’s scary as shit when I’m sleeping in a new house by myself,” I reply.
“We can make it a sleepover,” he suggests and then holds up his hands. “I wasn’t being creepy. I just meant there’s another bedroom. Don’t need your husband kicking my ass next.”
Sean laughs. “That was not on my Paris bingo card. Theo always seemed so chill, and suddenly he wasn’t. We should post some of that footage to shut Baby Makes Three up.”
My head jerks toward him. I haven’t been letting myself watch their reels ever since that last mini-tailspin they induced. “Is this something new?”
Sean rolls his eyes. “Theoretically their source says Theo’s had somebody on the side for, like, decades. Which is crazy on so many levels. Mostly because he’s only in his thirties now and you guys just got married a few months ago so he didn’t need to hide someone. Ignore it.”
It is crazy. The burst of worry comes and goes faster than it did the last time. “They’re grasping at straws,” I conclude. “But I don’t know about the movie, guys. I was awake during the entire flight and there’s a lot going on tomorrow.”
“You slept all day,” LJ counters.
I’m about to reluctantly give in when the front door opens, and Theo steps inside. He’s in a suit minus the jacket, the tie tugged loose, a bag over his arm. There’s never been a lovelier, more welcome sight in my life.
“Hey, man,” says LJ. “We thought you couldn’t get here until tomorrow morning.”
“I canceled some meetings,” he says, his gaze entirely on me. “I didn’t want to miss out on the fun.”
I’m trying so hard not to smile but I just can’t help it…I’m thrilled that he’s here. I want to press my lips to his unshaved jaw, finish removing that tie, make quick work of the shirt…
“Perfect timing,” says Sean. “Let’s watch Step Brothers. Have you seen it?”
“Would you all mind if I speak to my wife alone?” he asks as if Sean hasn’t spoken, never looking away from me.
The guys nod but are slow to realize he doesn’t mean we’ll leave but that they will. They rise and file out the back door and Theo flips the lock behind them before stalking toward me.
My jaw falls. “Did you just—”
But he’s already here, pulling me against him, and my arms slide up over his shoulders. It no longer matters that he just locked them out.