Goodbye Earl(112)

Fuck you, cancer.

“Do you feel like getting on the water? Is that…” Ada directed the last part at Esme, who was in her bathing suit too and a pair of cutoffs. She looked over her aviator sunglasses at Rosemarie, then at Ada.

“I talk to my brother about Rosemarie every day, and every day he tells me whatever she wants to do is perfectly fine. I’m convinced she’s put a spell on him,” Esme said, shaking her head.

“She puts a spell on everyone,” Leo said, stepping closer to them. He was wearing his swim trunks and a Bell Books T-shirt.

“All right. You make the rules,” Kasey said to Rosemarie.

“I’m glad you’re all here anyway, so I can feed you,” Leilani Kingston said, waving them into the kitchen, where she had a whole spread set out on the table. Thinly sliced meats and vegetables for sandwich fillings. Whole-wheat bread. Pickles and lettuce and tomatoes from their backyard garden. A wide array of condiments—the hippie stuff Rosemarie’s mom loved, like liquid aminos, SunButter, and cheese made from cashews. “Special brownies if anyone wants some,” she said, pointing to the fudge in the purple glass.

“Thank you, Mama,” Rosemarie said, immediately grabbing a piece of one and putting it in her mouth.

“We’ll eat and meet up at the lake house. Caro, come home with me; I have a bathing suit for you,” Ada said. Most of Caro’s stuff remained in that big house she shared with Trey. It was easy to see that for Ada, focusing on fixing a small problem like that made her feel so much better about the world.

Yes, Rosemarie was dying, but even in that dark, there was light and stubborn hope in their group. No one was going to be carted off to prison for Trey’s death, and Caroline’s face was glowing.

“I’m going to say something…blame it on the cancer,” Rosemarie said when she was finished chewing. Esme put her arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. Rosemarie looked at her dad in the doorway. Her brother, drinking water by the sink. The room could explode with love at any minute; the house was swollen with it. Rosemarie couldn’t conceive of better circumstances for what she was dealing with. Even under the hovering doom, she felt blessed in God’s warmth. “When I knew that this was it for me…that my cancer would kill me, I made myself one promise. To love the people I love as much as I can, no matter how much it scared me, no matter how much it would hurt, knowing what I knew. And I love you…I love all of you with every part of me. In a way that changes us…that changes who we are for the better every single day,” Rosemarie said, putting her hand on her heart. The heart that one day, possibly soon, would stop beating. All their hearts would stop beating eventually, and Rosemarie prayed to see every single one of them again on the other side.

“I love you,” she said to Esme, and Esme said it back.

“I love you,” she said to Leo, and Leo said it back.

To her mom and dad. Her brother. Ada, Caro, Kasey. They all said it back.

Rosemarie was tired and wanted to be in the sun. “We promised we’d do Raft Summer, so let’s do Raft Summer. We don’t break our promises,” she said.





57





Ada


“The lake is lazy today,” Ada said from her raft with her fingertips in the cool water. It was something Grayson said on days when the water didn’t move as much. They were all in their rafts in front of the Castelow lake house.

Ada let herself think about Trey for a split second before she closed her eyes and made him go away. She wasn’t worried about him anymore. She wasn’t worried about her mom anymore either. Holly Plum had made a promise and she’d kept it when she checked herself into rehab in Adora Springs. Ada and Taylor and their brothers already had plans to go visit her together next week, after she had some time to get settled.

Rosemarie was dying and there was nothing Ada could do about it, but no one knew when. As much as an unscheduled life terrified Ada, knowing that today didn’t have to be the day propelled enough hope for tomorrow.

She looked at Rosemarie, remembering their Raft Summer back in high school. How blissed-out they were, knowing they’d be friends forever, no matter what.

“We were right,” Ada said loud enough for everyone to hear.

“About what?” Caro and Kasey asked at the same time.

“About everything,” Rosemarie chimed in, just knowing.





Epilogue





Kasey


Devon took the breakup really hard, but not any harder than Kasey, although she’d known it was coming. He returned to Goldie and she gave the engagement ring back to him. When he left, she cried herself to sleep for a week straight. Ada brought food and flowers like it was a funeral, but Kasey couldn’t eat. She visited Rosemarie and Caro but didn’t stay too long.

Silas came by the farmhouse and helped her fix the gutters and the post that needed to be replaced on the back porch, but they didn’t kiss, no matter how much she wanted to. He let her know he was waiting patiently, like he always had been. She wanted to honor what she’d broken with Devon and needed more time.

Maybe Devon was The One.

Maybe in a bit, she would realize it and he’d take her back. Maybe.

*



Once she decided to make her new life in Goldie for good—and after she’d gone to New York to put everything in order for the move—she kissed Silas on the porch for a long time right next to the sign she’d made that said RACKRose Farm on it.