Goodbye Earl(52)

Caro was filled with so much shame she couldn’t tell anyone what had happened. How could she? How could she tell anyone that on their honeymoon, when Trey wanted to have sex but she didn’t—not after how he’d grabbed her—he had sex with her anyway, telling her over and over again that he was sorry it was happening like this but she was his wife now and that was what being a wife meant. He asked how she couldn’t have known. He asked if she was stupid. He said that she hadn’t gone to college, only pastry school, so maybe he should’ve known she wasn’t the brightest light on the porch, but he figured someone would’ve told her what being a wife meant. What being married to a Foxberry meant. He said he knew she wasn’t some precious virgin, so she shouldn’t try to act like it. He knew she had sex with Jay and Samuel. Mateo in high school too. He was willing to forgive her for those. She grew up in a trailer and he was a Foxberry and now she was a Foxberry too. It was how she’d get fixed.

Caro felt the sludge of shame so thick in her blood she thought it’d stop her heart. She’d loved him and thought he loved her too. She had an over-the-top wedding and hadn’t been shy about being proud of landing Goldie’s biggest fish. Now she had him all to herself, this nightmare of a man. It had taken her so long to find someone, a relationship that stuck.

So, it was her duty to stay stuck to him.

She’d tried to focus on the positives of being married to a Foxberry. Trey’s parents had bought them that big house, and she got to live in it with those new cars in the garage. She had a cleaning lady and a pool boy and a gardener now. And when Trey wasn’t forcing her, she could remember the time and place when she wanted to be with him in bed. When she thought he was handsome and masculine and sexy. When she’d admired how much stronger he was than her, that he could hold both her wrists together with one of his hands, so tight she couldn’t get free.

If they had kids—like she’d thought she wanted to, once upon a time—the Foxberry family could send them to the new private school on the other side of town and to college, too, without worries. The kinds of things Caro didn’t even dare dream about when she was growing up.

She’d been witness to some goodness in Trey. Like how she told him how much she loved the line about Tom carrying Daisy down from the Punchbowl to keep her shoes dry in The Great Gatsby, so one time when they were at a fancy Foxberry party at one of their distilleries, he’d slipped Caro’s heels off and carried her down from the punch bowl upstairs. Cradled her out to the car and placed her into the passenger seat. “I knew you’d like that,” he said, all smug and sexy.

Caro wrapped up moments like that with bows of extra emotion and emphasis, and as time went by, she kept lying to herself, leaning into desperate math.

Only one month since they’d been married…only three months since they’d been married.

She made his favorite dinners, tried not to stay at the bakery too late unless it was absolutely necessary. She almost never turned him down for sex, never looked at other men, never interrupted him while he was speaking.

Not out of love, but for survival.

But no matter what she did, something would spark him. As the abuse continued, Caro got better at hiding it. Part of her felt like it was her fault for not figuring out his puzzle yet. Part of her held out hope that things would get better.

She was naturally optimistic and never realized how that could be a dark thing until Trey.

Only six months of marriage so far. That wasn’t so long, right?

Perhaps if she kept loving him and tried again and again to understand what set him off, what displeased him, she could become the type of woman he wouldn’t punish. She held on to any infinitesimal amount of sweetness he trickled out. Any day he didn’t hurt her physically was a plus. Any day he didn’t call her a bitch or tell her she was stupid was a good day.

She didn’t love him anymore. How could she? He’d probably never truly loved her, not even before they were married.

Now that heart she’d once had for him was dust, blown away.

*



Ada asked Caroline more than once if it was okay, then called her lawyer and told her to put her in touch with the best divorce lawyer in Goldie. She knew the Foxberry family had a team of wolflike attorneys on retainer. Kasey called Silas and asked him to tell her exactly what Caro needed to do to get a restraining order against Trey. When she got the phone from Kasey and heard Silas’s kind voice in her ear, Caro took a deep breath and asked if there was any way to keep it as quiet as possible; Silas said he’d do all he could to make that happen.

Making plans like this, Caro could see so clearly the dynamic of their sisterhood in action. Kasey, the brainiac, strategized. Ada, the businesswoman, executed and scheduled. Rosemarie, the heartbeat, steady and so honest and able to focus her emotions and search for solutions.

“Caro, Trey is a fucking rapist and an abuser. I can’t fully explain how sorry I am that you’ve been living like this for six months. That’s too long. No more. You’re so good at looking out for us and taking care of us. Now it’s time for us to take care of you,” Rosemarie said to her, pushing her tears away.

“It’s my last night at that god-awful boutique hotel. I’m supposed to meet Silas there for drinks after this but—” Kasey said.

“Please don’t change your plans for me—I mean it. You two have so much to catch up on,” Caroline said. Rosemarie and Ada echoed her until Kasey folded.