Goodbye Earl(71)

2019


31





Ada


Thursday morning, Ada called Grandma Mimi first thing and asked her to please text or call them when Trey was up at the hospital. Mimi promised she’d do it.

Rosemarie brought the mushrooms in a little cloth bag. They were on the counter next to the sink alongside wedges of Gruyère and Parmesan cheese, a bag of mozzarella and fresh herbs. A cold bottle of white wine and a box of noodles. Butter, olive oil, a lemon, eight cloves of garlic. Laced or not, Ada wasn’t skimping on taste.

“Psilocybe ovoideocystidiata,” Rosemarie said, pointing. “This is our answer. These mixed with the LSD bourbon will make him so out of it that it’ll be easy to convince him to go down by the water and get him in. The drugs will have him thinking he can swim.”

“Explain this to me like I barely got a C in biology, because I barely got a C in biology,” Ada said.

“They’re psychedelic magic mushrooms. Eating them won’t be what kills him; they’ll make him high on shrooms. Like being stoned on weed, except more intense and totally different, and the odds of them turning up in an autopsy report or anything is pretty low. They’re magic,” Rosemarie said. She explained that cooking the mushrooms made them less potent, so they’d be sure to use a lot. “And lysergic acid diethylamide: LSD. For our Foxberry Bourbon–Tripping Balls Cocktail.” Rosemarie held up a small glass vial of clear liquid. “Kase, you’ll have a knife on you in case he tries to fight back?” she asked.

“Right. I’ll flirt with him, though. I’m going to do and say everything he wants,” Kasey said confidently.

“So, I’ll put some in there and sprinkle some on top too. I’ll use all of them with some extra sauce,” Ada said about the mushrooms. “Extra sugar in the pie, just in case.” She’d get the lasagna in the oven and start on the pie filling. This plan wasn’t like the old plan. This was going to work. It had to work. Every time anxiety crept in, Ada visualized squashing it with a pink four-inch heel that said this has to work on it in a fancy script.

“I know it may be wild, but I don’t have any weirdness about doing this whatsoever, do y’all? People get sick and die all the time; actual good people are murdered all the time. Trey doesn’t get to live when other people have to die. He tried his best to kill Caroline and he said he’d do it. I don’t have any weirdness about doing this at all,” Rosemarie repeated, shaking her head. “I thought about it a lot last night. I barely slept.”

“I didn’t sleep a lot either,” Ada said. Grayson, like most men, could sleep through anything. She didn’t have to worry about disturbing him as she sat up for hours the night before with the lamp on, mindlessly scrolling through her phone. He’d only mumbled nonsense and rolled over when she got up and cleaned the coffeepot at 3 a.m., just for something to do.

“Me neither,” Kasey said. “And I don’t have any weirdness about it, no. We don’t have a choice anymore—we don’t. Fuck him.”

“We can’t wait around for something to happen,” Ada said. “Fuck him. This will work. It will. It’ll be fine.” Ada had weighed everything, holding on to the belief that Rosemarie was right. The Plum family had money and good lawyers, and no one would suspect her. She was a mother, a major figure in the community. Her reputation spoke for itself. Her privilege was a shield. This has to work.

“Fuck him,” Rosemarie said. “Except, no, Kasey, don’t actually have sex with him or anything. That’s crossing a line. He’s disgusting. If it comes down to that, walk away. There are things you can’t come back from, you know.”

“Please don’t make me puke while I’m cooking,” Ada said, getting an onion from the fridge.

“That’s probably the only thing I wouldn’t do for Caro,” Kasey said.

How could their mood be so light? How could they be cracking jokes and having such a good time when they were planning what they were planning? If they shouldn’t do this, Ada would feel something, wouldn’t she? Wouldn’t she feel bad? Wouldn’t she have a panic attack like she did the night Angie was killed?

She knew the Bible said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord,” but she also knew that it said humans should love mercy, and killing Trey was showing Caro the mercy she needed. She knew God would forgive them for what they were about to do. His forgiveness was the only forgiveness that mattered. This was what had to be done, and doing it would right at least one thing in this crooked-ass world.



They got to work in the kitchen, and when both the pie and the lasagna were cooling under the window, Mimi texted:

I told Trey he shouldn’t be allowed

anywhere near Caroline, but the

police said there was nothing I

could do since the judge denied

the restraining order.

Trey said he had a right to see

his wife.

He said his lawyers would get

involved if we didn’t let him.

He’s on his way up here now.



The girls left to go meet him.

*



The girls were all genuinely surprised when they spotted Beau(!) Bramford(!) walking across the hospital parking lot. Beau Bramford, whom none of them had laid eyes on in years. Kasey said hi and hugged him before stepping away to go upstairs to catch Trey. Ada wanted to distract Beau. Had to distract Beau.