Grayson's Vow (59)

Confusion swirled within me. Perhaps I should abandon the idea of satisfying my physical need for her now that I could admit there was more involved than just sexual attraction, now that I could admit I cared about her as a person. But for some reason I always seemed to lose control around her and all my best intentions went out the window. And I still couldn’t understand exactly why. What was it about her that unbalanced me so much?

I let out a sigh. Maybe I should stop thinking about my own turmoil and consider that what she really needed right now was a friend. And so, tonight at least, all that other stuff should go by the wayside.

After looking over the room service menu and putting in an order to be delivered to our suite, I knocked on the door to her bedroom. She answered wearing a pair of jeans and a black top, her feet bare and her hair still partially wet. Her face was free of makeup and she looked very beautiful and very young. Of course, she was very young, only twenty-two. I didn’t think about her age very often, perhaps because sometimes she acted like a naughty child and sometimes she seemed so very wise. And of course, those glimpses of depth and insight had only served to make her more interesting to me. I entered, inhaling the light flowery scent that was hers.

“Hi,” she said, eyeing me suspiciously.

“I took the liberty of ordering dinner for us,” I said, entering her room though I hadn’t been invited. “I know you like Charlotte’s beef stroganoff. I’m sure the chef here isn’t nearly as good as her, but…” I shrugged.

Kira looked slightly unsure, but then let out a breath, obviously acquiescing. “That sounds good. Thank you. Although I might not be the best company.”

She turned and walked back toward the balcony, where she stood looking out over the city. I joined her, leaning my forearms on the metal rail and looking over at her. She looked away, tilting her chin down as if attempting to hide her face from me.

“Hey,” I said gently, turning toward her. I used my fingers to nudge her chin toward me. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. She sucked in a sharp breath, a tiny sob coming up her throat. I pulled her into my arms, tucking her head under my chin. “Shh,” I said, “it’s okay.” My throat felt tight as her body tensed in my arms, like she didn’t know how to be held. God, growing up with no mother and a father like that, she probably didn’t. I had only slightly more to draw upon but enough to take the lead.

“Kira,” I whispered, “relax. Let me hold you, sweetheart.” She struggled weakly for a brief moment, but when I tightened my arms around her, she sagged into me and gave way to her tears.

Kira sobbed in my arms, her face buried in my chest for a long while. Finally, her sobs began to abate, and she raised her face to me. The tenderness that pulsed in my chest was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Again, it concerned me, but I pushed my feelings aside and brushed my thumb across Kira’s soft cheek, wiping away the wetness of her tears. I smoothed her hair back from her face. “It’s okay,” I said. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

“Said the Dragon to the witch,” she said softly, a small twinkle in her still-teary eyes.

“There’s my girl,” I said.

She smiled softly and pulled away. My arms suddenly felt very empty. Kira sagged down onto one of the balcony chairs and I sat down in the other one, a small round table between us.

“Will you tell me about what happened with you and Cooper?” I asked.

She leaned back in her chair, sighing. For a moment I thought she’d say no, but then after taking a deep breath, she said, “I met Cooper at a charity event hosted by my father. I was home for the summer from my first year at college. My father had taken Cooper under his wing and was grooming him to win his first judgeship.” She bit her lip and looked away for a moment. “Although my father’s not in politics anymore, he’s very involved in the San Francisco court system.” Her eyes darted to me for a quick second and I wondered if she was thinking about my involvement with the San Francisco court system. Thankfully, though, I’d never come in contact with Frank Dallaire. She was quiet for a few moments. “Anyway, Cooper and I started dating and my father was so damned happy about it.” She looked out at the horizon, seeming to be lost in memory. “It was the first time in my life I felt like I was pleasing him. It felt…well, I felt wanted. It was a heady feeling. Almost addictive,” she mused, shaking her head dejectedly. “I wanted more.”

“Was that it?” I asked. “Or did you love Cooper?” I hated the tiny stab of jealousy at the mention of Kira with another man—even one who was mostly in her past.

“Oh, I thought I did, I suppose. He was all polish and country-club manners. My father thought we were a brilliant match and we’d perfectly balance each other. Cooper would finally tame me, and I would offer the Dallaire name to his campaign and his future career as a judge.”

“And then?” I asked, a feeling of dread settling in my stomach at the empty look that had come into her eyes.

“We were engaged around Christmas and I, well, I gave him my virginity.” She frowned and looked away for what seemed like a long time. My muscles were tensed and I consciously focused on relaxing. “I only tell you that because it relates to the rest of the story.”

“Okay.”

Kira cleared her throat. “I planned to come home that summer and start wedding planning. Cooper was heavily involved in his first campaign and his team was working out of a hotel downtown.” Kira picked at her fingernail for a few seconds before continuing. “I got out of finals early and instead of going straight to the apartment my father kept for me here, I decided to surprise Cooper at the hotel.” Her frown deepened. “Cooper had always seemed…displeased with me in bed. He never said it exactly, but he communicated the message clearly enough. I thought maybe if I surprised him, wore something…you get the idea.” A blush rose in her cheeks. “Anyway, I went to his room and a member of his campaign opened the door, obviously expecting room service. He tried to stop me from going back to the bedroom, but I wouldn’t let him, and I walked in on Cooper with…women.”