Happy Place(2)

I slide my window shade up. The vast, brilliant expanse of the sky makes my heart flutter, no imagination required. There are a handful of places, of memories, that I always come back to when I need to calm myself, but this place tops the charts.

It’s psychosomatic, I’m sure, but suddenly I can smell it. I hear the echoey call of the circling gulls and feel the breeze riffle my hair. I taste ice-cold beer, ripe blueberries.

In mere minutes, after the longest year of my life, I’ll be reunited with my favorite people in the world, in our favorite place in the world.

The plane’s wheels clatter against the runway. Some passengers in the back burst into applause, and I yank out my earbuds, anxiety lifting off me like dandelion seeds. Beside me, the grizzled seatmate who’d snored through our death-defying flight blinks awake.

He looks at me from under a pair of curly white eyebrows and grunts, “Here for the Lobster Festival?”

“My best friends and I go every year,” I say.

He nods.

“I haven’t seen them since last summer,” I add.

He harrumphs.

“We all went to school together, but we live in different places now, so it’s hard to get our schedules to line up.”

The unimpressed look in his eye amounts to I asked one yes or no question.

Ordinarily, I would consider myself to be a superb seatmate. I’m more likely to get a bladder infection than to ask a person to get up so I can use the lavatory. Ordinarily, I don’t even wake someone up if they’re asleep on my shoulder, drooling down my chest.

I’ve held strangers’ babies and farty therapy dogs for them. I’ve pulled out my earbuds to oblige middle-aged men who will perish if they can’t share their life stories, and I’ve flagged down flight attendants for paper bags when the post–spring break teenager next to me started looking a little green.

So I’m fully aware this man in no way wants to hear about my magical upcoming week with my friends, but I’m so excited, it’s hard to stop. I have to bite my bottom lip to keep myself from singing “Vacation” by the Go-Go’s into this grumpy man’s face as we begin the painfully slow deboarding process.

I retrieve my suitcase from the dinky airport’s baggage carousel and emerge through the front doors feeling like a woman in a tampon commercial: overjoyed, gorgeous, and impossibly comfortable—ready for any highly physical activity, including but not limited to bowling with friends or getting a piggyback ride from the unobtrusively handsome guy hired by central casting to play my boyfriend.

All that to say, I am happy.

This is the moment that’s carried me through thankless hospital shifts and the sleepless nights that often follow.

For the next week, life will be crisp white wine, creamy lobster rolls, and laughing with my friends until tears stream down our cheeks.

A short honk blasts from the parking lot. Even before I open my eyes and see her, I’m smiling.

“O Harriet, my Harriet!” Sabrina shouts, half falling out of her dad’s old cherry-red Jaguar.

She looks, as ever, like a platinum Jackie O, with her perfectly toned olive arms and her classic black pedal pushers, not to mention the vintage silk scarf wrapped around her glossy bob. She still strikes me the same as that first day we met, like an effortlessly cool starlet plucked from another time.

The effect is somewhat tempered by the way she keeps jumping up and down with a poster board on which she’s scrawled, in her god-awful serial-killer handwriting, SAY IT’S CAROL SINGERS, a Love Actually reference that could not, actually, make less contextual sense.

I break into a jog across the sunlit parking lot. She shrieks and hurls the poster at the car’s open window, where it smacks the frame and flaps to the ground as she takes off running to meet me.

We collide in an impressively uncomfortable hug. Sabrina’s exactly tall enough that her shoulder always finds a way to cut off my air supply, but there’s still nowhere I’d rather be.

She rocks me back and forth, cooing, “You’re heeeeere.”

“I’m heeeeere!” I say.

“Let me look at you.” She draws back to give me a stern once-over. “What’s different?”

“New face,” I say.

She snaps her fingers. “Knew it.” She loops an arm around my shoulders and turns me toward the car, a cloud of Chanel No. 5 following us. It’s been her signature scent since we were eighteen and I was still sporting a Bath & Body Works concoction that smelled like vodka-soaked cotton candy. “Your doctor does great work,” she deadpans. “You look thirty years younger. Not a day over newborn.”

“Oh, no, it wasn’t a medical procedure,” I say. “It was an Etsy spell.”

“Well, either way, you look great.”

“You too,” I squeal, squeezing her around the waist.

“I can’t believe this is real,” she says.

“It’s been too long,” I agree.

We fall into that hyper-comfortable kind of silence, the quiet of two people who lived together for the better part of five years and still, after all this time, have a muscle memory for how to share space.

“I’m so happy you could make this work,” she says as we reach the car. “I know how busy you are at the hospital. Hospitals? They have you move around, right?”