Hoarded by the Dragon (Monstrous Matches, #4)(62)

I want to lie, to make promises, but I refuse to be another person to give Rina false hope. “I don’t know. You’ll continue to age without a mate bond, eventually dying.”

She tilts her head. “I’m tempted to tease you for your reluctance to just enjoy the time we’d have together like humans do, but I suppose when one loses the people they love it’s hard to be that vulnerable again.”

“It destroys the soul.” Or at least it destroyed mine. I hesitate but continue, “There may be a solution to that issue, but it requires more investigation.”

“It’s not something you want to risk without a guarantee.” She’s beginning to understand. There are dozens of arguments against keeping what is between us casual, but she only places a hand on my heart. I can taste her sorrow, and it makes me want to snarl, vanquish the one who caused it, but it’s my fault.

“Can I think about it?” she asks.

“Of course,” I say, because there’s nothing else to say. Some part of her must want to stay even without the option of something growing between us. A part that I can court and coax, draw out while I try to find a way to keep this witch that won’t destroy me.

She’s quiet as we head back to bed, and I pull her past her door.

“My room,” I say to the questioning look that she shoots me.

“But—”

“Griffin will find us,” I say, as if that would be her only objection to her staying in my space. The whole house is my territory, but my bedroom is my inner sanctum. I need her scent there after the memories I’ve fought with tonight.

I need her there, even if she chooses to leave me eventually.

I don’t know what she must sense from my words in the dark, but she squeezes my hand.

“Alright.” The word is simple, but it rings with something new. Perhaps she knows how much I want her now. Maybe she’ll let herself believe we have a future.

And maybe her bravery will help me believe the same.





29





KATARINA





KALOS SLEEPS, his face peaceful in the morning light. He’s usually up and busy by now, but he’s passed out like he’s exhausted, and maybe he is. Fighting demons, even ones that only exist in past memories, is not an easy feat.

I can read between the lines. I know what happened to those hunters. Good. I hope the crunch of their bones gave Kalos some measure of satisfaction, but I don’t think it did.

My fingers itch to trace over his textured horns, but I resist, not wanting to wake him.

He asked me to stay.

He wants me in his life, has even been thinking about ways to extend my life, if that’s what he meant last night.

It’s so far away from our first dinner together that it should be comical, but it’s not. He has wounds he needs to work through, but he wants to work through them. Why else would he bring me to sleep in his room?

The space is gorgeous. I can practically feel the wealth cradling me. The luxury fabrics of the giant bed under us and the décor are one thing, but the crown jewel of the room is the ceiling. Or rather, the lack of one.

The glass dome above us lightens from the orange-reds of dawn to periwinkle blue, and I can only imagine what it looks like once the sun really hits it. The shaped facets that gleam are stunning.

The expense to ward it must be extraordinary. I’d roll my eyes at the excess if the sight didn’t hug my breath in a vise. It may be wasteful, but my artistic soul refuses to agree.

This is the value of art, and Kalos is a patron.

And he wants me to stay.

That his dragon mated me is almost incidental. I force myself not to ponder on it too long. I enjoy when Mr. Dragon comes out during sex, but that’s only a small part of Kalos and I want… more.

The smart thing would be to keep our relationship as casual as we started. It would be safer for my heart and our future relationship as parents not to add fuel to the flame. Sex is sex, as Kalos had said.

I should guard my heart from being devoured even more by this dragon’s presence.

I should let Kalos deal with his wounds on his own.

I should stop myself from hoping.

Then, after our daughter is born, we can be on friendly terms.

I know it’s too late to save myself from the heartbreak but to try for something more with this dragon who sees himself as broken flirts with disaster.

The cautious part of me tries to sneer at Kalos’s offer, asking if I’m going to let another person in my life who just takes what he needs, while I hold out hope that I mean something more like I’d done with Nemo.

While the rest of myself argues that nothing ventured is nothing gained… and this place in Kalos’s life is something I want.

Not just having a place in the world. Having this place.

Shoulds haven’t done much for my happiness. I devoted myself to restoration to appease a should.

The safe path won’t give me what I want.

I’m going to take this one day at a time, and I’m going to allow myself to hope. Kalos isn’t Nemo, and I’m older and wiser now to recognize those emotions.

It’s time to focus on what I want for my future, for our child’s future.

It’s a risk, but my happiness is worth it.



BEN PORTALS us into a marble-floored lobby, and the space tilts. Kalos’s hand on my waist keeps me from swaying, and I smile gratefully at him.