Hoarded by the Dragon (Monstrous Matches, #4)(87)

My smile goes from fake to weak but honest. “I’m sure he’ll love that.”

Maybe I should feel guilty for racking up bills in his name, but it’s the least he deserves.

“I have your Thai order with triple the heat. Just the thing to burn your mouth off and help grow a dragon. I’m glad my baby only demands sushi nonstop,” Rose murmurs. “I shouldn’t be surprised. My mate is a kraken. Fish makes sense. It doesn’t matter that I could hardly stomach seafood before getting pregnant.”

I snort out a laugh. “I couldn’t handle spicy food at all.”

We share a comfortable smile before she tilts her head. “Can I sit?”

“Of course, it’s your place after all,” I say.

Rose kicks off her shoes and slips her feet into the water with a relieved sigh. “Nonsense. This is your space as long as you stay here. And the price Kalos is paying for the rent of this room is outrageous.”

I shrug. “He has the money, and the baby’s safety is important to him.”

Rose only nods.

“How soon until you’re due?” I ask, wanting to change the subject.

“We aren’t sure. This baby is a miraculous one. A baby kraken has never been recorded.” She looks down at her stomach, her smile warm. “No one knows how much longer it will be. We’re going on eleven months now, and I don’t mind admitting that I’m looking forward to when I don’t crave sardines.”

“Eleven months!” I exclaim. “That’s longer than a human!”

Rose nods. “Gideon, my mate, has otherworldly patience and even he is starting to reach the end of it. Hopefully we get to meet this bundle of joy soon.”

I mentally count. “I’ve only been pregnant for about three months.”

Rose’s eyes widen. “Well, your child is in a much bigger rush than mine.”

“Yeah, I guess she’s ready to get the party started.”

We quiet on that thought. It’s not an uncomfortable silence, but a moment of connection. Rose isn’t Stella, but there’s something about her that helps ease the tension in my soul. Not all the tension though.

The smile slips from my face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Rose asks after a few long beats of oneness.

“Are you sensitive to stuff like this?” I wave my hand, and Rose’s lips twitch.

“Do you mean the misery coming off you in waves? I think a troll could pick up the emotions you’re putting down and they can be rather slow about that type of thing.”

Misery. That’s one of the myriad of feelings swimming around me. It doesn’t matter how much frustration I try and level on top of it, the anguish bleeds through.

Being in the bathhouse doesn’t help things one bit. I’ve attempted to lock away the memories we made when he brought me here, but things escape through the cracks. The sensations of my body run in line to my emotions. I ache.

I want Kalos to rub the tightness in my muscles away and chuckle at our daughter’s appetite for heat. I want him to kiss my neck and craft an image of our possible future with only a few words.

But I don’t get to have that anymore. He left.

I don’t know what went through his head in the cavern—why exactly he decided that he was done with us—but it didn’t leave much room for hope. Maggie may have been certain that Kalos will return… but that doesn’t mean that our relationship will continue once he does.

I miss him.

I stare up at the beautiful ceiling.

“I don’t think talking about it would help,” I say.

Rose only nods. It’s the understanding in the motion that does it. The illusion that this matchmaker can solve any issue if only I speak.

Words that I haven’t let myself reflect on bubble out of me like the witch beside me can draw water from a dry well.

“I need him more than he needs me,” I say and blink away the quick moisture in my eyes. “And I’m not okay with that.”

Rose hums, but now that I’m voicing my worries, they don’t stop.

“He can just leave. And I’m…” I look down at my stomach, trying to not let the negative thoughts catch hold. From the very beginning, I’ve chosen to think of our daughter as a miracle rather than a mistake. I don’t want to ever say the word stuck about my situation either. Words have meaning.

But nothing changes the fact that my body—my life—has radically changed. I have a child to think about. I won’t ever abandon her, leaving because I’m in an emotional snit isn’t an option for me. I could give birth next week or next month.

I’m not alone—as her kicks into my lungs remind me—but I’m so much more vulnerable than Kalos will ever be. It’s not fair.

Rose reaches over and places her hand on my shoulder, her comfort and kindness acts as a centering balm in my sewer of dark thoughts.

“But you”—she emphasizes the word with a stern look—“hold all the cards. You have everything he wants. There is no leaving you without leaving a part of himself.”

I shake my head. “I wouldn’t keep his daughter from him—”

“You misunderstand,” Rose interjects softly. “You have his heart.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” I thought it was true before he left. That he was showing me how he felt about me through his actions. He asked me to stay.