Hopeless (Chestnut Springs, #5)(101)

My tears fall freely as I listen to him pour his heart out to me.

“It’s like I’ve been searching for something, something to tie me to this new reality. I wasn’t looking for love; I was looking for a purpose. I just didn’t expect my purpose to be you.”

I say the only thing I can say in the wake of his words, in the wake of everything he’s done for me. “I love you, Beau.”

That blinding smile is back, but this time it’s matched with glassy eyes. He nods at me, every motion swimming with love. Admiration. I can feel the affection in everything he does.

And it feels so foreign. It feels so good.

“I told you once that I don’t think anyone has loved me before. But … ” I nibble at my lip. “But I don’t think I’ve ever really loved anyone either.”

His thumbs swipe at my cheeks, brushing away the tears that slip over my skin.

“That’s okay, baby. I can be your first,” he says.

And then he kisses me.

The first, last, and only man to love me.

And I’m okay with that.





42


Beau


Beau: Everyone better show up tonight.

Harvey: YES, SIR.

Beau: You can’t say that. Like, ever, Dad.

Harvey: Why not?

Harvey: … Sir?

Beau: You just can’t. It’s off the table now.

Jasper: REPORTING FOR DUTY, SIR.

Rhett: SEE YOU FOR DINNER, SIR.

Cade: WHY AM I RELATED TO SO MANY IDIOTS, SIR?

Beau: I hate you all. See you tonight.



“Everyone is coming?

“Yes.” I casually slick my hair back in the mirror like nothing in the world is wrong—because it’s not.

“Like, everyone?” Bailey hovers behind me, her hands tucked into the sleeves of the camel-colored sweater she’s wearing. She’s got one arm crossed over her stomach, the other brushing at the bottom of her chin in a steady rhythm.

“Of course. You told me to invite everyone.”

When I peek at her standing behind me, she’s worrying her lip between her bottom teeth and looking a little frantic.

“Right. Of course.”

She’s nervous and scans the bathroom, like there might be something to distract her from her thoughts.

The bathroom is small but freshly tiled by yours truly. White squares with little black diamonds at each corner. A claw-foot tub in the corner. A pedestal sink. This house on a cozy, tree-lined street is full of vintage, old-world charm.

As much as I love my house at the ranch, I have to confess … it felt less me since Bailey came into my life. The hard lines and echoey spaces felt cold. At odds with her there.

This house, though? Warm hardwoods and big windows that the light spills through. The oak trim around every wall reminds me of her tan skin in the summer. And the crystal doorknobs that adorn the French doors that lead into the dining room remind me of the way her eyes sparkle when she’s excited.

Nah, my house at the ranch is the old me.

This one? This is the new me. The me with her. And like I told her, it’s a great investment. Every investment I’ve made in this woman will always be.

I turn to her, trying to hide my smile. It’s become downright impossible not to look at Bailey without smiling. Even when she is a ball of stress. “Come here, sugar tits.”

Her eyes roll, and she lets out a beleaguered sigh, but she steps into me anyway. She keeps her arms where they are and drops her head right to my chest. “You need to come up with a better nickname.”

“Absolutely never.” Her forehead rolls back and forth against my chest as I wrap my arms around her. “Bailey, stop stressing.”

“I can’t. I don’t want them to hate me.”

That gives me pause. “Why would my family hate you?”

“I don’t know. You all are Chestnut Springs royalty. It’s like you’re with the banished pariah, and are choosing to live in exile with me over staying with your family.”

My chest shakes with silent laughter, and she slaps my shoulder. “It’s not funny! What if I change? What if we change and you’ve given everything up for me?”

I squeeze her tighter. “Bailey, Bailey, Bailey. You will change. You’re … ugh. Saying your age out loud makes me feel old.”

“You are old,” she quips, but I can hear the smile in her voice.

“You’re twenty-two. You start university in six weeks. Of course you’re going to change. Nobody stays the same at your age, and in my case, thank fucking god, cause you’d have hated twenty-two-year-old me.”

She laughs and I carry on. “And we’ll change. And we’ll have difficulties. Because that’s life. You don’t recognize the highs without the lows, sugar. I’ve changed too.” I grip her shoulders and nudge her away from me to look her in the eye. “That’s how I knew you were it. That’s how I know I’ll love you in every version of yourself, because we’re all constantly changing. Growing. Becoming.”

“I’ll register for a philosophy class if I want one, soldier,” she says, swiping at her big, glittering eyes.

“Bailey, shut up and listen to me.” She chuckles softly with another eye roll before giving me back her full attention. “You fill me with purpose. Lifting you up gives me a reason. Seeing you smile makes me feel whole. And I’m never going to apologize for that. We’re symbiotic, you and me. Without you, this version of me doesn’t exist. Without the next version of you, the next version of me doesn’t exist either. We’re going to grow together.”