How to End a Love Story(27)

He feels her wet tears at the neck of his T-shirt. She doesn’t take to hugging naturally—she’s angular and stiff, resisting where others would soften. After a moment, she seems to give way—he feels her forehead collapse against his neck, registers the slow inhale and exhale of her breaths as she seems to melt into his body. He isn’t sure how long they stand this way, pressed together like pages in a book. Then suddenly, her fingers, smashed into his chest, harden and push him off. She breathes in and out slowly, then looks up at him through red-rimmed eyes.

You idiot, he thinks to himself. She just said she doesn’t like when people comfort her.

“I, um,” she wipes her nose. “I should get to bed.”

They both look toward the stairs behind her, which seem far away in this moment. She turns to go, then pauses.

“Thanks for the water.”

She takes a steadying breath and walks away from him. He ignores the tug in his stomach that seems to follow her.





Nine




“I still think we should move the piece with Bellamy and Phoebe sooner,” Eve says. “We already have the angsty slow-burn pining with Celia and James; we need another flavor.”

Helen studies the enormous glass dry-erase board, covered in blue and red and purple writing.

“Hm.” Suraya leans back in her chair, considering. “Where, though? If we move it any earlier, they still hate each other.”

“I mean, that could be hot, right?” Nicole says. “I vote episode three. Who hasn’t wanted to have hatesex with their nemesis?”

“Do they even know each other well enough to be nemeses at that point?” Owen counters. “Phoebe only hates Bellamy because of what he did to her ex–best friend. That’s not personal enough for it to be full-blown hatesex.”

“I was trying to tell a story about forgiveness with them,” Helen says. “Whereas with Celia and James, it was more . . . horny.”

“I mean, it’s horny in the books,” Eve agrees. “But if we boil it down to what they actually do, they’re just . . . staring at each other. Which is hot, but not necessarily horny in an ‘I can’t watch this with my parents in the same room’ way.”

“Could it still be a forgiveness story if they have sex earlier?” Nicole asks. “Like, I’ve totally hooked up with people and kept doing it because it made me feel like shit and that’s what I felt like I deserved at the time.”

“Aw, babe,” Owen says, squeezing her shoulder.

“Fuck off, I’m in therapy,” Nicole rolls her eyes.

“I’m with Nicole on this,” Grant says. He grabs a blue marker and writes Bellamy/Phoebe hatesex?? at the end of a taped-off cell on the dry-erase board. “If we make it our end-of-episode-three cliffhanger, that gives us a bigger secret to drive a wedge between Phoebe and Iris, and it changes the dynamics of the Fall Ball too.”

“So instead of getting closer before they hook up, they’re doing it in reverse.” Suraya scans the board. “I like it. Helen?”

Helen feels the sudden burn of all eyes on her. She’s noticed that Suraya has taken to checking in when they pitch bigger differences from the book—never more than once, and always with a short “Helen?”

“Yeah, I think it’d be fun to watch,” she says. “I guess I’m just trying to work out what that looks like. Who initiates it, who wants it more, who makes it happen a second time.”

“You and your obsession with second kisses,” Eve laughs. She’s referencing a conversation they had a few days ago, when Helen had insisted the first kiss is just an icebreaker.

“They’re a bigger deal than first kisses!” Helen says. “They turn something that could be a one-off into something that could be significant.”

“Okay, but they’re not just gonna kiss,” Owen says. “All that tension built up.”

“I think she initiates it,” Grant says, staring at the board. “She’s feeling low, she’s looking for a way to get back at her best friend, she turns a corner, and boom, he’s there right when she needs an excuse.”

“I don’t know,” Helen muses. “I think it’s hotter if he makes the first move. It’s more . . . villainous.”

Grant lifts a brow. “And that’s hotter?”

Helen flushes. “Yes.”

“I’m with Helen,” Saskia says. “You kind of want it to feel like he’s doing it to piss her off.”

“And then she surprises them both because she’s into it,” Eve adds.

Tom holds up a hand. “Hold up—is this not gonna land us in a minefield of consent issues?”

“No, okay, I have it, I have it,” Nicole says. “He follows her into the bathroom after the drama in the library. She’s like, ‘blah blah, I hate you, fuck off, whatever.’ Then he’s like . . . looming over her, being intimidating on purpose, and it’s like a game of chicken; neither of them wants to back off.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Suraya nods. “He kisses her first. . . .”

“Thinking she’s gonna hate it and he’ll just leave,” Saskia adds.

“But then she pulls him back in and it’s on,” Helen says.