In the Veins of the Drowning(69)

I laughed, pressed my lips to his. He was nothing if not determined. There was an urgency to the way he kissed me back, to the way he ravished every inch of me. His teeth scraped over my nipple, and then he pulled it into his mouth, banishing the pain with a swipe of his hot tongue. His large hand hooked around the back of my knee and splayed my leg wide as he kissed between my breasts.

“Where’s the severing draught?” he mumbled against my stomach. He kissed lower, lower.

I blinked, trying to think clearly enough to answer. “It’s there.” Breathless, I pointed to the table, to the little bottles on top. “The black one.”

A deep, breathy moan left him as he slid a finger inside me. My head fell back as he curled it perfectly, as he took it out and back in. He pressed a second finger inside me and said, “Throw it in the fire.”

My head flew up off the pillow. “What?” I was gasping.

He looked up at me, flushed and bewildered, fingers still making my stomach coil with pleasure. “What?”

“Wait a minute. Stop.” He did and I was struck with a pang of regret. “Why on earth would I throw it in the fire?”

He looked at me like I’d spoken a different language. “Because we’re not unbinding.”

“Why not?”

“Because if we do, you can’t keep yourself safe. Finding Eusia and unbinding yourself from her is too dangerous without our combined power.”

I fought to catch my breath and stared at him agape. “What happened to you? You would never have said that a few days ago. You would never have even thought it. You’re getting married in less than two weeks. Our bond makes us sick. How will I go searching for Eusia if we can’t be more than ten paces apart?”

His face bent with confusion. “Did you think I’d make you go alone?”

I sat all the way up, hiking the sheet over my naked body. Rohana’s words suddenly rang loud in my head once more. He would give up his throne for you. “I don’t need to explain your duty to you, do I?” I snapped. “What about the empress? Your fiancée?”

Muscles flexed as he pushed himself onto his knees. He rolled his jaw. “Seeing that my people are safe is honoring my duty. And I’ve signed none of the empress’s contracts.”

“But you’ve given your word. What damage will it cause if you go against it?” I pressed my hands against my eyes. “I can’t believe I’m trying to convince you to marry her.”

He looked overcome. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Your head is muddled from the Mage Seer’s smoke, and we’ve been too close.” Our cheeks and bodies were aflame, our hair tousled, the bedding all twisted and half on the floor. “I’m just an itch you need to scratch.”

His swollen lips twitched. “An itch.” Sarcasm coated his words. “It was you who said that I needed a Godsdamned fuck, wasn’t it? Maybe after, I’ll be able to think clearly again.”

“Theodore, that’s not what I—”

His chest flexed, and he winced as he moved to the opposite side of the bed. “None of this is ideal. None of this is how I planned it to be.” He lay down, giving me his back. “Don’t let your stubbornness kill you, Imogen.”

“My stubbornness? That’s not fair—”

Three quick knocks came at the door. I jerked the sheets all the way up to my chin and sank back into the pillows. “I have stew,” Antonia called from the other side of the door, “and broth.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as my stomach hollowed. Both of us sounded equally disgruntled when we called back in unison, “Come in.”

By late evening, Theodore felt well enough to sit before the fire in the main room. His eyes were still shadowed underneath, his skin was still wan, but he reclined with his feet up. His head leaned against the chairback, a cup of cooling tea in his hand.

We hadn’t spoken save for a few terse words since the moment we’d had in bed.

I sat on the floor before the hearth, staring into the flames, remembering. Theodore’s touch lingered over my body, inside it. As if his kisses, his hands, were but an extension of his power, taking root despite our tumult. I adjusted my skirt and wished that I could go back, wished that I could have kept my mouth shut and let him take me with him into the oblivion we’d both wanted. The unfinished memory wouldn’t be enough to suffocate the horror of the tasks ahead.

Find and kill Eusia. Sever our bond. And find some way to make Nemea pay for every lie and cruelty. I let my gaze slide toward Theodore. He watched me with heavy lidded eyes, chest rising and falling just quickly enough to make me think he was remembering too.

Hector pushed through the front door with a large bundle of firewood in his arms. “Ahh, you’re both up!” He set the wood next to the hearth, then took in Theodore’s reclined form as he clapped the dirt from his hands. “You’ve looked better.”

“I’ve looked worse.” Theodore chuckled weakly.

Hector laughed alongside him, the sound ringing and bright. He gave me a broad smile that I couldn’t help but return. “And you—you’re looking far better than you did all soaked from the rain.” He pointed to the dress I wore. I’d pulled on a simple linen gown of Antonia’s from the wardrobe. It was studded with the smallest embroidered flowers in shades of lavender and periwinkle. “I recognize that gown. Looking as lovely as Antonia used to in it.” His gaze moved toward where she stood in the kitchen, preparing a platter of fruit, bread, and boiled eggs.