Insatiable (The Edge of Darkness, #1)(55)

I glance at Kade. “W-What? ”

“Three favourite things. Go.”

I focus on my breaths. “Dancing.”

“Keep going,” he pushes as he veers around a corner, not looking at me.

“The Greatest Showman.”

He pauses. “Another.”

“The…” I breathe out a breath. “The dogs. Milo and Hopper. I miss them.”

Kade accelerates again, pushing my back to the seat, and I realise his questions have distracted me – I’m now breathing properly again.

A few minutes pass, the car still speeding along, and I eventually sit back on the seat and cross my arms.

He slows down, then stops at a set of traffic lights. “You should’ve got into the car when I told you to the first time. Now they know your name.”

I don’t reply – I just stare out the window.

The lights from shops and lampposts merge into one blazing colour. My eyes sting, but I keep staring out the window, unable to take in anything he’s saying.

He’s not happy. He’s complaining, but I ignore him, which pisses him off even more.

I’m not sure what he was expecting, taking me into a building full of people like that.

The sun is rising in the distance, but as beautiful as the orange and yellow hues are, I can’t focus. I try to close my eyes and sleep.

My hands are still trembling, and I keep seeing the man’s body dropping to the ground every time I close my eyes. I hear the sound the gun made when he pulled the trigger and feel the way my heart stopped when I witnessed someone being murdered. I remember the way Crawley and his men looked at me – Kade’s whore.

I’ve witnessed Chris beating the shit out of people, watched illegal cage fights and people being bottled and stabbed to injure. But not death. Not murder.

Kade could get arrested and jailed for a long, long time.

“Get out of your head.”

Screw you.

We arrive at the hotel. He takes our bags to reception and asks for a room.

“Two rooms.”

His striking silvery-blue eyes are on me, but I block him out. I need space, and the last thing I need is to be around Kade when part of me fears him.

“Two?” the lady repeats, watching Kade. Thankfully she hasn’t noticed the blood on my face.

A nod, and he sighs. “Yeah.”

He pays for both rooms then thanks the woman. The elevator takes a few moments to arrive, and he scans a card to take us to the eleventh floor.

My room is across from his. He unlocks my door, and I push it open and head inside. He follows me, setting my bag and suitcase next to the bed.

“I have work to do,” he says. “Will you be okay?”

No. “Yes,” I reply, keeping my eyes on the red carpet. It’s almost the same colour as the blood that puddled at my feet. “Please leave. I’ll get an Uber to Luciella later. ”

“Look at me.”

I shake my head.

Kade stands in the doorway, tapping the top of the frame. I flinch as he goes to step forward, and he freezes.

“Don’t be afraid of me, Freckles. Sometimes people need to change to survive.”

I stare at my fingers, twisting them together. “What language was that you spoke?”

He runs his thumb across the seam of his lips, a freshly rolled joint at the back of his ear. “Russian.”

I nod, unable to ask anything else.

He waits a long minute before he leaves, the door closing with a delicate click. I don’t hear him opening his own room door, but I do hear his footfalls growing quieter as I head to the bathroom and fill the sink.

Washing the blood off my face takes a few minutes. Then I tug my dress from my shaken body and stare at my exhausted, distraught reflection.

There’s no light in my eyes, only tears for the boy I once knew.

I wash in the sink again, but it’s not enough. I feel dirty.

Showering does nothing to warm the chill in my spine. Neither does wrapping myself in a blanket and watching the sun move across the sky.

A few hours later, I hear sirens. Are the police on their way to arrest Kade?

My lip trembles again, and I get annoyed with myself for being so weak. I handed that boy my heart when I was a teen, and even now, years later, he still holds it. But this time, he’s crushing it with vengeance, for things out of my control.

I wasn’t lying when I said that what happened wasn’t my fault. I had no idea what I was doing or what goddamn reality I was in. All I knew was that I’d never felt that level of panic before. I’d just wanted my boyfriend and only found out the following morning that I wasn’t in my boyfriend’s bed.

I’ve no idea what happened to him since we split up, but I’m not sure the Kade I fell for still exists.

I curl into the bed and attempt to relax my thoughts. It takes me nearly four hours to feel less on the verge of a breakdown. When I do, I pull my phone out of my leather backpack and turn it on.

My notifications go wild. Most are from an unknown number – Chris on a burner.

In one text he describes in alarming detail what he’s going to do to me when I get home, but instead of feeling fear, I swipe and delete the chain then block the number.

Kyle tells me to have a safe flight.

Lu informs me she is never surviving this trip with Base. They went out last night for drinks with her mum and Ewan. Base had a threesome in the room beside hers then asked if she wanted to join in.