Just for the Summer(2)

“No.”

“I googled it. Look.”

She held her phone out again and I almost choked on my laugh. “That poor guy.”

“I would never do you dirty like that,” Maddy said.

“I hope not. I couldn’t live without you.”

She grinned and took a bite of her veggie wrap.

“It’s weird you guys both have the same thing going on,” she said, after she swallowed. “All your exes, just riding off into the sunset.”

“Ha. I wonder how many weddings he’s had to be in,” I said, pulling the pickles out of my chicken sandwich and putting them on her plate.

She nodded at my phone. “You should ask him.”

I gave her a look. “Just DM him?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, why not? Guys love it when girls slide into their DMs,” she said. “Seriously. Ask him. Lunch is boring. It’ll give us something to do.”

I sighed. “All right. One message.” I wiped my fingers on a napkin, picked up my phone, and swiped open my Reddit DMs.

His handle was just_in_267. I wondered if his name was Justin. My handle was Emma16_dilemma. I hadn’t changed it since tenth grade. I probably should.

I started typing.

I have the same problem you have. It’s happened seven times in the last four years. We break up and the guy is married within six months. Do they ask you to be in their weddings too? I’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid three times

I hit send. “There. I sent it, a message to a complete stranger.” I set my phone down. “It sort of feels like something my mom would do.”

Maddy scoffed. “If this were Amber, she’d spend all her rent money on a psychic who paints portraits of your soulmate and then sends you the same painting she sends everyone else. That’s what Amber would do.”

I didn’t laugh. It was too true to be funny.

My cell pinged. “That Reddit guy just replied,” I said.

Maddy stopped with her wrap halfway to her mouth. “What’d he say?”

I clicked on the message.

Justin: Excuse me if this isn’t the case, but you’re not a reporter trying to figure out my identity for another article about the Reddit thread, are you? You have to tell me. It’s like when you’re an undercover cop and someone asks you if you’re a cop and you can’t lie about it.

I laughed.

“What?” Maddy asked.

“He thinks I’m a reporter trying to figure out who he is.”

“Is that a problem he has?”

“Apparently.”

I started typing.

Me: I am not a reporter.

Justin: That’s exactly what an undercover reporter would say.

I shook my head with a smile.

Me: I’m a nurse.

He sent me a narrow-eyed emoji.

I got an idea.

Me: Tell me how many fingers to hold up.

A few seconds passed.

Justin: Four

“Maddy, take a picture of me.”

She gawked. “You’re gonna send this dude a picture?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Uh, because he could be a serial killer?”

“A serial killer with a sense of humor, a rescue dog, lifelong friends, and a relationship with his mom?” I handed her my phone. “It’s no different than what he’d see if he’d matched with me on Tinder and anyway, we’ll be in Hawaii in a few weeks. He’s in Minnesota. Even if he could figure out who I am, he’d never track me down.”

“What if he’s some gross dude who doesn’t floss and now he’s got a picture for his spank bank?”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh stop.”

I tilted my head so my braid fell to one side and held up four fingers. Maddy didn’t look happy, but she took the picture with my phone, then handed it back to me.

I was in scrubs and my hospital badge was clipped to my pocket. I opened the edit feature, scribbled out the identifying information, and sent the pic.

Me: I’m at work. Do reporters wear scrubs? And how many times have you been catfished by reporters?

Justin: This week? Or like, in total?

I sent a laughing emoji.

Justin: Now that we’ve established you are who you say you are, I will answer your question. I’ve been asked only once to be in a wedding for someone who benefited from my little streak. But I was best man and it was Beetlejuice themed.

I laughed and read it out loud to Maddy.

“Pictures or it didn’t happen,” she said.

I typed “Pictures or it didn’t happen. ”

I set my phone back down. “You’re right. This is fun.”

“I have good ideas,” she said.

I was almost done eating my sandwich when my DMs pinged.

“He just replied,” I said. “There’s a picture.”

Maddy jumped from her seat to stand over my shoulder.

When I clicked it, I started cracking up. The bride and groom were dressed as Beetlejuice and Lydia, in her red wedding dress from the movie. The maid of honor and best man were dressed like the Maitlands, only with the scary faces they put on in the beginning to frighten the new residents. He was wearing a long cone-shaped nose and buggy eyes. I sent a row of laughing emojis.

“You’re right, he does have a sense of humor,” Maddy said.