King of Pride (Kings of Sin, #2)(89)

“The spa gift is enough,” my mother said, giving her eldest son a reproachful stare. “Come. Let’s eat. Tigil muna sa mga bigating usapan.” No more heavy talk for the day.

She reassured me with a pat on the way out. Lines of worry bracketed her mouth, but she didn’t mention what just happened. After my father’s sudden death, she hated anything that disrupted our family’s harmony; I think she was afraid any argument would end up being the last words one of us said to the others.

However, the ghost of her disappointment trailed after me the rest of the afternoon and followed me out onto the patio that night, after the festivities died down and my mother and grandparents retired to their rooms.

I curled up on the bench, taking solace in the familiar give of the seat and the softness of the cushions. Motion-sensor flood lights illuminated the backyard, casting a pale yellow glow over the pool where I’d learned to swim, the treehouse where I’d hidden when I was upset, and the various nooks and crannies where my brothers and I had fought, played, and grown up together.

A wistful sense of nostalgia floated over me. I hadn’t lived here in so long, but every time I visited, it was like I’d never left.

The sliding glass door opened. “Hey.” Felix stepped out, his tall, lean form backlit by the house lights. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” I hugged my knees to my chest, my chest tightening at his concerned voice. “I’m fine.”

He took the seat next to mine. He’d changed out of his nice celebration clothes and into a faded T-shirt and shorts. “You don’t sound fine.”

“It’s my allergies.”

“You don’t have allergies.”

“Know-it-all.”

Felix’s soft laugh pulled a small smile out of me.

“If this is about earlier, don’t think too much about it,” he said. “You know how Gabe is.”

“But he’s right.” Fresh pressure bloomed behind my eyes. I blinked it away, determined not to cry.

I felt pathetic enough without having my nicest brother feel sorry for me. “I should’ve gotten the book done, and I didn’t. I never follow through. I don’t know why…” I tucked my knees tighter to my chest.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard for me when it’s so easy for you guys.”

“Isa.” Felix fixed me with a disbelieving stare. “It’s not easy for any of us. Do you know how long it took for me to figure out what I wanted? How hard it was for Miguel to choose a specialty? Even Gabe has problems getting people to listen to him because he’s so young.”

“And Romero?”

“Oh, he’s a freak. I’m pretty sure he was born with a computer for a brain.”

Laughter melted some of the tension in my shoulders. “He’ll take that as a compliment.”

“I’m sure he will.” Felix smiled. “The point is, you’re on the right track. You’ve started your book, which is more than what a majority of the population has accomplished. It might seem like we’re quote, unquote ahead of you, but we’re also older. We have more life experience.” He pinched my cheeks. “Baby ka pa lang.” You’re just a baby.

“Stop.” I batted him away with another laugh. “Don’t act like you’re so old and wise. You’re only four years older than me.”

“You can live several lifetimes in four years.” Felix leaned back and stretched out his legs. “The point is, you’re not behind. You’re still young. You have plenty of time to figure it out.”

That was what I thought when I was twenty-two and convinced I would be the next great talk show host. Now I was twenty-nine and no closer to figuring it out, whatever it was.

I appreciated Felix’s attempts to reassure me, but the more we talked about it, the worse I felt.

Reassurances from someone so successful sounded patronizing even when that wasn’t his intention.

“I know,” I said, more because I wanted to end the conversation than because I agreed with him.

My eyes fell on his bare neck. “Where’s your necklace?”

His mentor, some woo-woo “be at one with the wave” type, gifted it to him after his first exhibition. I’d never seen Felix without it.

He scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks inexplicably red. “I, uh, lost it.”

My sisterly radar went on full alert. He was lying, but before I could probe further, the door opened again. Gabriel appeared, his backlit silhouette an ominous spill of darkness in the doorway.

Felix quickly stood. “It’s getting late, and I’m beat. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. You got this,” he added in a small whisper when he passed by me.

If by this, he meant utter and total dread, then he was right.

The third, tensest silence of the day sprouted as Gabriel took Felix’s vacated seat and the door shut behind my other brother.

I tucked my hands beneath my thighs.

He tapped his fingers on the bench.

I stared at the pool.

He burned a hole in my cheek and finally spoke. “I’m trying to help you, Isa.”

“Help?” Indignation ripped the word from my throat. “How is humiliating me in front everyone going to help?”

“I didn’t humiliate you. I asked you for something you promised us.” Gabriel’s mouth thinned.