Love Arranged (Lakefront Billionaires, #3)(85)

If Lorenzo can manage this every Friday, I can make it through sixty seconds.

I want to.

I’m not sure what I was expecting when we arrive at my dad’s grave, but a meticulously kept area and a floral arrangement of freshly cut yellow roses wasn’t it.

My mom must visit more often than I thought, and guilt needles a hole through my chest.

Everyone grieves differently, I remind myself.

Lorenzo lets go of my hand and softly touches my cheek, cradling it with the palm of his hand. “Do you want me to give you a moment?”

“No.” I dig my heels into the ground. “Don’t go.”

He dips his head and tucks me into his side instead, lending me some of his strength without saying a single word.

“Hola, Papi,” I start, keeping my eyes drilled to the tombstone because I don’t trust myself not to cry if I look over at Lorenzo. “This is Lorenzo.”

“Hi,” he says, completely serious.

“I’m sorry I don’t visit you here,” I whisper. “But I think of you every day. I miss your laugh. I miss your jokes. I miss the sound of your voice, especially in the mornings because you were always my favorite alarm clock.” I breathe through the pain in my torso. “I just…miss you.”

I struggle to come up with much else. Maybe if I had known we’d be stopping by, I would’ve prepared a speech, but it was a spontaneous decision that makes me feel inadequate compared to Lorenzo’s earlier visit.

“I don’t know what else to say.” My voice wobbles.

“Hey,” he says, his smooth voice a much-needed comfort.

I turn my head to get a better look at him. “What?”

“There’s no pressure to speak. We can stand here in silence for as long as you want, or we could go.”

“You made it look so easy. I’m a bit jealous.”

“I’ve been at this for a while.” His smile is slow, and I appreciate every second of it.

Just like I appreciate him.

His strength. His resilience. The confidence he exudes, and the way he brings out the same in me. He makes me want to believe in myself again and my ability to handle anything that comes my way, because I know that if I struggle, he will be there to support me until I can hold my own.

I don’t say the words aloud, but I feel them with every fiber of my being, and I hope one day I’ll finally have the courage to share them.





__________

I Vi ho portato a Lily oggi, cosi potete finalmente conoscerla. Sono molto sicuro che la amereste piu di quanto amate me: I brought Lily here today so you can finally meet her. I’m pretty sure you’d love her more than you love me.





CHAPTER FORTY


Lily


After our trip to the cemetery, Lorenzo asks if I want to have dinner together. Since I hardly ate much of my lunch, I agree, so we head back to his house, where he gets to cooking while I play with Daisy outside.

Once I tire her out, I rejoin Lorenzo in the kitchen, and we talk about random subjects, like what Healing Hearts plans on doing with all the money they raised. I tell him about how I tried and failed to win a silent auction item, which seems to surprise him.

“What were you bidding on?” he asks while checking an expiration date on the same bottle for a second time.

“Fifty thousand frequent flyer miles,” I say wistfully.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Netherlands,” I reply without hesitating.

“What for?”

I stare at him like he must be joking, except he doesn’t laugh.

“Lorenzo. Do you know me at all?”

His eyes narrow. “I’m going to guess it has something to do with flowers.”

“Yes!” I throw my hands into the air. “I was about to call off this entire engagement.”

“I’ll have to brush up on my international flower knowledge, then.” His tone is teasing.

“Please do. I recommend familiarizing yourself with every important festival on the planet to be safe.”

“My kind of trivia night.”

I laugh. He smiles.

He goes back to cooking our chicken with his trusty food thermometer, which at one point reads 175 degrees.

“I think we’re good,” I say when I catch him stabbing the chicken in a fourth spot.

Lorenzo clearly takes food safety seriously, along with our personal safety, given the insane alarm system he has set up. Every time he lets Daisy outside, he disables it, and at one point I joke if he has a bunker.

The answer is Not yet.

After a minute, he still hasn’t let go of the thermometer, so I pry it out of his hands.

“You good?”

He shuts his eyes. “I’m out of it today.”

I want to broach a subject with him, but I don’t know the best way to start.

Thankfully he sees the strained look on my face and asks, “What are you thinking about?”

“I was wondering…and please don’t take offense, but I… Ugh.” My nose crinkles.

“Lily. Just say it.”

“Would it help if you talked to someone?”

He laughs so hard, he ends up needing to drink some water. “There’s no way that’s happening.”