Love Song(113)

“Hey,” I say. “What’s going on?”

She doesn’t answer. Just sits there quietly, twisting her fingers together in her lap. The lake is still tonight, the moonlight dancing across its dark surface.

“Blake,” I urge. “Talk to me.”

“I’m pregnant.”

The world stops.

It just…stops. My lungs seize. My heart freezes. The crickets go silent. The buzz of mosquitoes ceases.

For a second, I wonder if I misheard her.

“You’re w-what?” I stammer.

“Pregnant.”

“As in?”

“Pregnant.” She finally glances at me. Her eyes are tired and sad but also a bit amused. “You put a baby in there, Graham.”

“How?”

“With your sperm.”

I choke out a laugh. “No, I mean, I know that. But we took the Plan B.”

“Must’ve missed the window,” she says dully. “I found out two days ago. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, but I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you.”

“Do your parents know?”

“Only my mom. I wanted to tell you before we destroyed our dads’ friendship again.”

I have no clue how she’s managing to make me laugh when she just changed the entire trajectory of my life with two words. I’m pregnant.

Jesus. Her father is going to take me out on the boat again, and this time, he’ll drown me.

“I got a blood test done yesterday at the clinic in town, and I spoke to my doctor today. We had a video consult. She thinks I’m about five weeks. She’s bringing me in for a seven-week scan, and we’ll be able to see if everything is going smoothly or normal or whatever…” Blake gulps. “So we have two weeks to sit with this before we even know what’s happening.”

My mind is still spinning, free-falling. Pregnant. Baby.

“I know you’ll want me to take care of it, but I haven’t decided.”

I frown at her. “Why is that what you think I want?”

“Because…” Her voice starts shaking. “You’re not the kind of guy who wants a baby this young, Wyatt. You don’t want to be tied down or trapped.”

“Who’s trapping me? Because the last time I checked, it takes two people to make a baby, and I’m equally responsible for this.”

“And you should have a say in what we do.” Her bottom lip trembles. “It’s okay to admit you don’t want it.”

“Hey.” I reach for her hand.

She flinches, just slightly, and it kills me.

“Blake, look at me.”

Her eyes meet mine. They’re full of fear and…guilt. And that kills me too. She has nothing to feel guilty about.

“We did everything properly,” I remind her. “We fucked up, and we tried to fix it with Plan B, and it didn’t work. But we did this together.”

“I don’t know what I want to do,” she tells me. “So I’m not saying I’m keeping it. I just want to wait to decide until after the scan. Maybe there isn’t even a decision to make.”

I go quiet for a moment, absorbing that. “Okay. Then we’ll wait.”

She gawks at me like I’ve grown horns. “You’re calm,” she accuses. “Why are you so calm? Why aren’t you freaking out?”

“I am. I’m terrified. My stomach’s doing backflips. But…” I hesitate, searching for the words. “I’m not as terrified as I thought I’d be. Not with you. Not when it’s us.”

“What does that even mean, us? This isn’t… I don’t know what this is.” Frustrated, she pulls her hand back and hugs her knees. “You can’t say it’s fine, because it’s not fine.”

“I’m not saying it’s fine. I’m saying I’m not going to run. If you decide to keep it, I’ll be here. I’m here now.”

Tears well up in her eyes, clinging to her thick lashes. “You’re not the settling-down type. You’ve made that clear. This isn’t you.”

“Maybe it is,” I say softly. “Maybe I just didn’t realize it until now.”

She focuses on me, uncertain. “Are you only saying that because I’m pregnant? You’re trying to be some hero now because you feel responsible?”

“No, I’m saying it because I care about you. Because I…” I stop, exhaling slowly. “Because I love you.”

I’ve said those three words to a girl before. Many times, in fact. Back when I mistook sexual chemistry for true love, before I realized what I was feeling wasn’t real. Didn’t last.

It’s been years since those words left my mouth, but the second they do, I know without a doubt this isn’t about chemistry or sex or some idealistic version of love I write about in songs.

This is the most real thing I’ve ever felt in my life.

Blake Logan owns me. Heart, body, and soul.

“You love me.” She bites her lip. “Since when?”

“I don’t know. Forever maybe. I’ve just been too scared to say it.”

She stares at me like she’s trying to read every thought in my mind. “You’re not just saying that?”