Love Song(63)

Where the hell is she going?

I stay in bed for a moment, telling myself she’s probably just going to sit on the dock and look at the stars again. But I hate the idea of her out there alone. Which is stupid, because she’s an adult, and it’s not like this lake is crawling with psycho killers, other than possibly the Spencers.

Still, I climb out of bed, because I know I’ll never be able to sleep now.

I quietly go downstairs. The back doors are closed, but the alarm is off, and the doors are unlocked. I step onto the deck, but I don’t see Blake down on the dock. All the loungers are empty. Worry pulls at my stomach, tugging harder when I suddenly catch a flicker of motion against the black sky.

At first, my brain can’t register what I’m seeing, but as I near the railing, there’s no mistaking her. She stands on the flat roof of the boathouse like a statue, arms at her sides, hair cascading down her back.

With my heart in my throat, I watch as she approaches the edge.





THE CHEATER


You know what? I’m fucking pissed now. And I’m sick and tired of you constantly calling me a cheater like I’m the worst person on the fucking planet. I’m not going to apologize for this shit anymore, especially when YOU basically pushed me into doing what I did.



You act like you’re so above everything, Blake. You’re so calm and collected and sarcastic, like nothing ever fucking touches you. I never knew what you were thinking. Ever. Being with you felt like I was constantly trying to impress someone that can never be impressed.



So yeah, I messed up but don’t act shocked, because YOU made it easy to look somewhere else. I’m a passionate guy. I just wanted some fucking passion. So I had to go and find that fire somewhere else.



I’m not saying it was all bad. It was really, really good at times. You felt like my safe place, like you were this steady thing in my life and I wanted that.



But I also wanted you to look at me like I was the most exciting guy in the world. I always felt like I was chasing some version of myself you might actually care about, but you never cared about making me feel wanted. You never let me in and you were never really there with me. So maybe think about that before you decide I’m the only one who ruined this.





Chapter 21


WYATT





BY THE TIME I REACH the dock, I’m already half running. The boards groan under my weight. I stand at the bottom, staring up at her. The moon carves silver edges into everything. The roof, the lake, the defiant hardness of her features.

“Blake,” I snap. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Facing my phobia.” Her voice floats toward me from the roof.

My jaw clenches. “You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s almost midnight. Get down. Now.”

“Why?”

“Jesus Christ. This isn’t a joke. It’s late. Get down here.”

She seeks out my eyes in the moonlight. “I chickened out that day with Annaliese and her friends. I should’ve jumped.”

“Great. You can jump in the morning.”

“What’s the big deal? You and the Golden Boys jump off at night all the time.”

“Yes, because we’re damn idiots. You are not. It’s pitch-black, and you can’t see the bottom. This is reckless. Actually, no, it’s irresponsible.”

“Fine, then I’m irresponsible. And why do you care anyway? We’ve already established you’re not my dad. You’re not even my friend most days. You hover and scowl and act like I’m some dumb teenager.”

“I’m just trying to keep you from doing something stupid.”

“Maybe I want to do something stupid,” she shoots back. “Maybe I’m tired of everyone assuming I won’t. That I’ve got no passion.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Frustration tightens like a vise at my ribs, but something beneath it burns hotter, more dangerous.

Fear.

And not just the kind that comes with watching someone you care about do something reckless. It’s the fear of losing her.

And that fear makes me angry, because I hate feeling it.

“What, you’re up there because you have something to prove? Why? Because you wanted to kiss me last night and I wouldn’t do it?”

She flinches but doesn’t back down. “Screw you, Wyatt. You wanted it.”

I let out of breath. “Even if I did, we’re not going there, okay?”

“Yeah, sure, keep saying that. In the meantime, I’ll stay up here, thank you.”

My anger boils over. “Is that what it’ll take to get you down? You want me to stick my tongue down your throat? You want to ride my dick? Want me to screw you till you can’t see straight? Throwing a tantrum isn’t going to get you what you want.”

She blinks, stunned into silence for half a second. Then her incredulous laughter echoes in the night.

“Wow. You really think you’re that important, huh? You’re so goddamn full of yourself. I don’t need to prove anything to you. If anything, I’m proving something to him.”

I falter. “Who? Isaac?”

“Yeah.” She peers over the edge again at the water, her tone thickening with bitterness. “He blames me for his cheating. He sent me this long-ass message tonight saying I’m to blame for what he did because I wasn’t ‘passionate’ enough. I wasn’t exciting. I was the boring, steady presence that he needed, but she was his fire.”