Love You More(49)

“They really shouldn’t be here alone,” I say.

“I know,” he says.

“It’s like two kids living together.”

Mick swallows. “I’m going to move into the guest room. Starting tomorrow.”

I feel a rush of relief. “Thank you.”

“It’s a temporary fix—until we sort out custody,” he says. “I’ll call a lawyer next week to figure out next steps.”

I nod. “And I’ll talk to Dean as soon as I get back.”

“There’s no immediate rush, but we do need to get this settled.”

“I know,” I say. “I’m coming back for Phoebe’s spelling bee. That’s two weeks away. I’ll have a decision by then.”

“That works,” he says.

We sit in silence for a beat before Mick clears his throat. “There’s something else, too.”

I stare at him, waiting.

“I wanted to apologize,” he says. “Last night in your parents’ driveway…I was out of line.”

“It’s okay,” I say. “We’re both wrung out.”

“It wasn’t okay—and it wasn’t fair. You never led me on. You were always clear about what you wanted.”

I bite the inside of my cheek.

“It was just hard—being left behind.”

I look at him, hardly believing we are finally having this conversation. “I left Wisconsin,” I say. “Not you.”

He takes a deep breath. “Well, you left me, too. But you left for something important. Something that mattered. And anyway,” he says, quieter, “I could’ve moved to New York.”

“But Maeve—”

“She would have been fine.”

“That’s hindsight.”

“No. I think that deep down, I knew it then. On some level, I used her as an excuse. Her—and the orchard.”

“Why?”

“The truth?” He pauses. “I was afraid.”

It’s a reframing of the past I didn’t expect—not an accusation, but an apology. “Afraid of what?” I ask.

“Afraid of not fitting into your life. Of holding you back. Of not being enough for you.”

“I never felt that way,” I say. “Not once.”

“Maybe you didn’t.” He pauses. “But I did.”

I stare into his eyes, letting the words sink in.

His expression turns sad. “I was chickenshit. And blaming you was easier than admitting I was scared. I’m sorry for that. And I’m sorry for that day in the café.”

I blink, remembering that table by the window, how much I wanted to reach out and touch him. To make him mine again.

“I went there thinking I could do it,” he continues. “Be friends again. Then I saw you…looking like you belonged to a whole other world.” His voice trails off.

“I didn’t belong to that world,” I say. “Not yet.”

“Maybe not. But it still felt like you had outgrown me.”

“I never outgrew you. We just wanted different things.”

“Yeah,” he says, taking a long breath. “Anyway. I just want you to know that if you can’t do this—I won’t hold it against you.”

I look at him—really look at him—and suddenly, he’s no longer the boy I once loved, but a man I’m just getting to know.





Chapter 28


The next morning, after a quick coffee with my parents, I head back over to Joan’s, finding Phoebe already up, eating cereal in front of the television. I sit with her for a moment, then mute a commercial and turn to face her.

“So I talked to Mick last night—”

“About Hank?” she asks, eyes wide.

I shake my head. “About you and Gram.”

“What about us?”

“We really don’t think you should be here alone—like we discussed yesterday.”

She nods, thinking this over, then says, “Can you stay here with us?”

“I wish I could. I have to get back to Dean and my patients.”

Her face falls. “Okay,” she says.

“But Mick is going to move in for a while.”

“And Cash?”

“Yes. Cash too.”

She smiles.

“Would you like to go unpack some of your stuff?” I ask.

“Yes! I want to see my stuffed animals.”

We head upstairs to find Joan still sleeping. Outside Erin’s old bedroom, the boxes Mick hauled in last night are lined up in a neat row. Phoebe and I open them one by one. As she lines her animals up on the bed, I fill Erin’s empty dresser with her clothing.

After a while, she looks up at me and says, “I wish you didn’t have to leave today.”

“Me too, honey,” I say. “But I’ll be back soon.”

“How soon?”

“In two weeks. For your spelling bee.”

“Promise?” she asks.

“I promise,” I say.



* * *



— The plan is for my dad to drive me to the airport, but Mick texts to say that he and Phoebe can take me. That would be great, I text back. Thank you.