Love You More(5)

I knew Erin and I would always be best friends, but that summer, I’d worried that our group would splinter in high school. When I’d shared my fear with Erin, her eyes turned fierce.

“I’d never let that happen,” she said.

Now, as I walked down the aisle of the bus, Erin popped up from the back row, her dark curly hair loose around her face. She waved at me with a big grin—her default expression—and I smiled back at her. I couldn’t wait to tell her about the boy I’d just met and was secretly glad that the rest of our friends were in fall sports and wouldn’t be riding the bus home with us. I loved having Erin to myself, and matters of the heart were for her ears only.

Before I could sit, she was off and running, words tumbling out as her hands flew, buzzing about auditions for Footloose, the school musical.

“We should try out!” she said.

“No, you should try out. I can’t sing or dance.”

“Hello?! What about the Electric Slide and the Macarena?”

“You mean the dances it took you weeks to teach me?” I laughed.

“What do you think rehearsals are for?” she said. “Besides, we need extracurriculars to get into college.”

She smiled, poking me in the ribs, knowing college was my hot button.

“I’ll think about it,” I said, knowing it was out of the question. The mere idea of getting onstage made my stomach clench.

“That’s the spirit!” she said, holding up her hand for a high five.

I attempted a slap, our palms barely connecting. She shook her head and smiled. I knew the drill—we had to keep going until our hands made a satisfying clapping sound. She grinned when we finally got it on the third try.

“I just want to make sure we get out of our comfort zone in high school,” she said. “Try new things. Live large. These could be the best days of our lives!”

That was Erin in a nutshell. She made everything lighter and brighter. With her, anything felt possible.

I twisted the straps of my backpack and gave her a hesitant smile. “So I have some news.”

“Do tell!” she said, rubbing her hands together.

“I met a boy,” I said. “In math class.”

Erin’s blue eyes grew wide with excitement. “Oh my God! You have a prospect? Already?”

I shushed her, then lowered my voice to a whisper. “I wouldn’t call him a prospect. He’s way out of my league. But he’s really nice—”

“Then why isn’t he a prospect?”

“Once you see him, you’ll know.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. You have the cutest dimples and the best smile.”

I rolled my eyes, thinking “best smile” was what people said when there was nothing else to compliment—right up there with “good skin.”

“Don’t roll your eyes at me! You’re beautiful, Billie.”

It’s what she always told me—and I knew she meant it with all her heart. But I also knew that my ash-brown bob and pale skin made my gray-green eyes look washed out, like lake water under clouds. Nothing striking, nothing unforgettable—just quietly there. It didn’t help matters that I had the body of a ten-year-old. No hips, flat chest, toothpick legs.

“No. I mean it, Erin. He looks like a movie star.”

“Comp?”

“I don’t know…Heath Ledger, maybe?”

“Wowzer! What’s his name?”

“Mick O’Leary.” My heart fluttered just saying it aloud.

Erin let out a startled laugh. “Billie. Don’t you know who that is?”

I gave her a blank stare.

“He’s a stud football player from Swallow. His family owns Picker’s Paradise.”

“The orchard?”

“Yes. Remember we went there in the fourth grade?”

I nodded, then said, “How do you know all this?”

“It’s common knowledge. Get your nose out of the books and pay attention!” She laughed and knocked on my temple.

“So spill the deets. Did he flirt with you?”

“No,” I said. “But he teased me about my name.”

“Nothing says icebreaker like Wilhelmina!”

I smiled. “True.”

“And he has to be smart if he’s in your math class. I know you love smart.”

I shrugged and smiled, guilty as charged.

“Well, this is an exciting development. He could be your first boyfriend!”

“I really don’t see that happening,” I said, but I could already feel a knot of hope beginning to form.

“Yes, it will. Just play the long game,” she said with the easy certainty of someone who never doubted her place in the world. “Friends first, lovahs next.”

“Ha!”

“And before you know it, you’ll be doing it in the apple orchard!”

I shook my head, laughing as the bus rumbled on.



* * *



— I took Erin’s advice to heart. Over the next few weeks, Mick and I slowly became friends. We chatted before and after class and exchanged hellos in the hallways. Sometimes, he’d saunter over to our lunch table to ask about homework.

Then one night, out of the blue, he called me. I picked up the phone, expecting Erin.