Love You More(66)

I blink hard.

“That’s true.” Mick rubs the back of his neck. “Can you tell us how you felt about your school…before?”

The word before ripples through the air.

“You mean before Mom died?” Phoebe asks, braver than both of us.

Mick nods.

“It was okay,” she says. “But I don’t have a best friend…and sometimes I feel like I don’t fit.”

Her words pull me back to the uneasiness of middle school—remembering moments when Erin was the only thing keeping me afloat.

“Okay,” I say. “This is what I’m hearing: You want a change. Some space to be yourself. And you feel New York might give you that?”

She nods, looking relieved. “Yes.”


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I look at Mick. He holds my gaze for a beat, then looks back at Phoebe.

He swallows. “I suppose we could give this a try if that’s really what you want.”

Phoebe’s lips curve. “Really?”

“Really,” he says.

“It doesn’t have to be forever,” I say, memories stirring. “We could call it a trial year. You finish fifth grade here. Then start sixth grade in New York. If it feels right, you stay. If not, we reconsider.”

“I like that plan. Can Hank come with me?”

“Of course,” I say. “You and Hank are a package deal.”

She bends down and scratches behind Hank’s ears. “You’re going to love Central Park,” she whispers to him. “So much to sniff.”

From the kitchen, the timer dings.

“Cookies are ready!” she says, darting inside as Hank trots behind her.

Mick meets my eyes.

“Do you really think this is what Erin would want?” he asks.

“I wish I knew.” I swallow. “I didn’t find a will. I still need to look through Joan’s things. But I’m not hopeful.”

“Me either.”

He looks away for a beat. “She reminds me of you,” he finally says. “I feel like she might belong somewhere bigger.”

“Maybe it’s not a bigger city she needs. Just a change of scenery.”

He nods, chewing on his bottom lip.

“And I meant what I said: If things don’t feel right, we’ll come back.”

He gives a small nod.

“I mean it, Mick. Dean’s open to moving here, too. He’s touring Froedtert as we speak,” I say. “But he was born and raised in New York. The city’s in his blood. Just like Wisconsin’s in yours. And he’s about to get a big promotion. Something he’s worked so hard for. So when Phoebe said she wanted to try New York, it felt like it might be a solution.”

“I understand.”

“I appreciate everything you’ve done for Phoebe. And Erin. I know I left a gap, and you filled it. I won’t ever forget that.”

“I did what I could,” he says, holding my gaze.

Dean’s voice comes back—I see the way he looks at you.

I push the thought away.

From the kitchen, Phoebe calls for us.





Chapter 37


Back in the kitchen, Mick’s already dunking a cookie into a glass of milk. Phoebe’s giggle cuts through the warm air, the smell of sugar and vanilla drifting between us.

“Try one, Billie!” she says, gesturing toward the cooling rack.

“I will. I just need to make a quick call. I’ll be right back,” I say, reaching into my purse for my phone.

I ease out the door and take a few steps down the driveway before pulling up Dean’s name and tapping call.

He answers on the first ring.

“Hi. Are you still at Froedtert?” I ask.

“Yes. Tour just wrapped. I’m waiting on an Uber. You okay?”

“Yes,” I say, breathless. “I have news.”

“Oh?”

“I talked to Phoebe about New York. Then we discussed it with Mick. She wants to go. We’re all on the same page.” The words rush out of me.

“Are you serious?” His voice lifts.

“Yes!”

“That’s amazing news.”

“I know,” I say, relieved.

“Did Mick push back?”

“A little. But he agreed pretty quickly.”

“That’s surprising.”

“I know. Maybe he’s relieved, deep down. It’s a lot to take on—raising a child. And he’s already spent so many years caring for his sister,” I say, wanting to believe my words.

“Yeah. It’s a huge responsibility,” he says. “But I’m excited about it.”

“So—not that it matters now—but how was Froedtert?”

“I liked it a lot. Impressive place. I could’ve done good work there—”

“But?”

“But…it’s not home.”

I stare up at the pale dome of sky and feel a flicker of disloyalty to this place—and to the people I love here.

“About that,” I say. “I told Mick that if Phoebe doesn’t adjust to the city, we will bring her back.”