Midnight Purgatory (Bugrov Bratva #1)(95)

When he thrusts inside me, my eyes flutter closed. That’s the last moment of delicateness before we both fall apart. We share one long, shuddering breath—and then he fucks me harder than he’s ever fucked me before. He fucks me as though he’s trying to expel dark forces from my body. As though he’s trying to purge us both of something.

At some point between the intense thrusts, I stop thinking. I forget about the politics at play between us or the fact that I left a whole life behind when I climbed that fence. I forget about my best friend’s wedding and my dead twin sister and all the shit that populates my thoughts when I lie tossing and turning in bed at night.

Right now, I can only concentrate on the heat of those thrusts. The way his hands slide over my body, reminding me who I really belong to.

“Look at me,” he orders as I struggle to rein my body in.

My eyes meet his and that’s how we both finish—with our eyes fixed on each other and our orgasms only seconds apart.

Afterwards, Uri carries me to the bed and lays me down on it. He gets in beside me and we spend a long time just looking at each other wordlessly, recovering from what just happened, grappling with our own complicated feelings but refusing to share them with each other.

At least, that’s what I’m doing. I have no idea what he’s thinking. All I know is what I see in front of me.

He never looks away. His hand stays on my hip. There’s a storm brewing in those blue eyes but I’m left on the outside, looking in, like I’m watching through a window that refuses to open.

When he finally hauls himself out of the bed, I feel something sink to the bottom of my stomach. The realization that him staying with me in my bed was not a good thing.

It was a goodbye.

“Uri…”

“We can’t keep doing this,” he whispers softly.

I sigh. “I know.”





54





URI


“Something bothering you this morning, big brother?”

“No.”

“Really? ‘Cause you’ve been scowling at the coffee machine for the last minute like it owes you money, and before that, you seemed to have a grudge against the toaster.” Polly gives me a small smile. “Sit down. I’ll get you your coffee.”

“I can manage myself.”

“I don’t think you can. You’re about ten seconds away from hurling the coffee machine out of the window and I need my morning dose before that happens.”

I turn to look at my sister. In the morning sun slanting in through the skylights, she looks ageless and ethereal. She looks like our mother. “Since when do you drink coffee?”

“Since I realized I could get away with it without anyone noticing.”

Guilt pricks at me. Isn’t this exactly what Alyssa had told me yesterday? “Do you like your boarding school?”

She shoos me away from the coffee machine and takes over. “Sure. It’s fine.”

“Define ‘fine.’”

She shrugs. “It has its ups and downs, like anything in life.”

“You know you don’t have to stay there, right? If you wanted to come back home, that can be arranged. I can get you into Scotswood Academy. It’s only a thirty-minute drive from here.”

She gives me a tiny glance. “What brought this on?”

“I was just thinking—”

“Is that code for I spoke to Alyssa?”

My face curdles into an instant grimace. “Not everything is about her.”

“So she’s not the reason you’re in a foul mood this morning?”

“This is how I am every morning.”

“Right. But today is, like, more so.”

I roll my eyes and take the mug of coffee she’s handing me. “How was she last night, by the way?”

“What do you mean?”

Pol walks her own mug over to the kitchen island and perches on the stool again. “Just wondering how she was, which I know you know, since I saw you skulking out of the basement after midnight.” I grimace again and she smirks. “Busted.”

“I was just checking on the security cameras.”

“Oh, I bet you were. Is that what we’re calling it these days?”

“Polina Bugrov.”

“Oh, will you just admit it already? It’s so obvious! You’re in love with her.”

I stare at my baby sister. It doesn’t make sense that she looks so old and wise. The words don’t make sense, either.

“Fucking hell, Polly—”

“You wanna know something?” She sips her coffee, winces, and adds in a heaping dose of sugar. “You walk around all big and macho, but when it comes to feelings, you’re the biggest coward I know.”

I clench my teeth. “I am not in love with anyone.”

She sighs as she stirs. “Case in point.”

“She’s just a random girl who got involved with the wrong people,” I say, studiously avoiding eye contact. “She’s no one to me.”

“Is that why you can’t seem to stay away from her?”

“We’re done with this conversation.”

“You’re just proving my point, you know.”