Mine to Have (Southern Wedding #1)(48)

"It’s fine," I say, ignoring the panging in my chest. "Besides, knowing our luck, you get here and I’d be called away for ten hours and then what?”

There is a beep on his side and he looks down. "I have to go," he says and all I can do is look at him. "I’ll call you in a bit." I don’t answer him because there is a lump stuck in my throat. "Hey," he says when I look down. "Harlow." He says my name so I look up at him. When my eyes meet his, he just smiles sadly. "We’ll work it out," he assures me softly and I want to argue with him but another beep goes out.

"Go," I say and I press disconnect before he does. "Fuck," is all I can say as I turn my chair and look outside at the sun that is slowly setting. When I stand from my chair, my body feels like it’s been run over by a Mack truck. Every single step hurts, and when I get home, I barely make it up the steps before turning and just sitting in one of the chairs.

I feel the phone buzz in my pocket, and when my hand reaches for it, I see it’s him. I let it ring until it goes to voice mail and then hear the sound of rocks and I look up. The black truck stops right behind mine and I watch my father step out.

He takes two steps up and stops when he spots me sitting in the dark. "What in the Sam Hill are you doing sitting outside in the dark?" He walks over to me and then stops when he sees me. I probably look like a wreck; tears are smeared all down my cheeks for sure. "Who died?" I try to laugh but instead a sob just comes out of me and I put a hand to my mouth. He squats down in front of me, grabbing the other hand in his. "Harlow," he whispers in a plea. "I’m not going to lie, you are really freaking me out right now." He looks around and I can imagine he’s wondering how he can call someone without leaving me.

"I’m fine," I say and then sniffle. "I mean, I’m not really fine."

"What is it?" he says, pushing away the hair from my face. "Whatever it is, we can get through it. Are you sick?" he asks and I shake my head.

He puts his head down on my legs. "Thank God," he utters. "I thought you were going to tell me that you’re dying." He laughs uncomfortably. "Gotta say you took a million years off my life."

I laugh and wipe the tear off my cheek. "I’m not sick," I reassure him. "But I’m not happy, Dad." I say the words I’ve been scared to say out loud in the last four years. "I tried to be happy, I did." I smile at him but the tears come. "But it’s just my heart is empty here."

"Harlow," he whispers and I can see his own tears in his eyes. "Honey." He cups my cheek.

"When he broke up with me, I told myself that it was going to be fine." I look down at his hand on mine. "And then I decided that I was not only going to open my practice here, I was going to fucking kill it." I smile through the tears. "And I did and then."

"And then you realized that you were just going through the motions." He fills in for me.

"Maybe I didn’t see it." I swallow down the lump in my throat. "How unhappy I was. Maybe seeing him again, it just clicked, and now I don’t know."

"You love him?" he quizzes and I’m not sure if he’s asking me or telling me. "Like, you aren’t using him just to say to fuck off."

"Dad," I gasp. "Why would you even think that?"

"I don’t know." He shrugs. "I was just hoping that you wouldn’t get hurt again."

"But being without him hurts more," I say. "It’s crazy that I lived four years without him and now that he’s been back in my life, I just miss him all the time."

"It’s not crazy," he says. "It’s normal. Hell, I’ve been with your mom for a long, long time and every single day I love her even more." He smiles big and his eyes light up. "I can’t imagine a day without her."

"Yeah, well, I can tell you right now, it sucks ass," I complain. "I got home tonight, and I swear I thought my body was shutting down." I look down. "Will you help me?"

"Whatever you need," he tells me. "It’s going to be hard," he says, and it’s my turn to wipe the tear from his face. "But if that’s what you want, we will make it happen."

"Thank you, for always being on my side."

"There is no other side I will be on." He gets up and pulls me up with him. "If he hurts you again." He looks down at me. "I will get your brother to rough him up a little."

I throw my head back and let out a laugh. "Good to know." He puts his arm over my shoulder, walking to my front door. "You know he’s afraid you are going to shoot him."

He chuckles. "I mean, you just never know." He winks at me as I open the door for him. "Tomorrow we sit down and start making a plan," he tells me. "Now go get your stuff." I just look at him. "Your mother isn’t going to let you stay here all night with you crying and stuff."

"Who is going to tell her?" I fold my arms over my chest.

"I’m not lying to her," he tells me, mimicking my stance. "Do you know what she does when she finds out?" I roll my lips. "Last time she went seven days without saying a word to me. Do you know how many hours that is?" He shakes his head. "I slept with one eye open after the second day." I put my hand to my stomach and laugh. "Now go get your stuff."