My Roommate Is a Vampire(67)

“I have not done this in over one hundred years,” he breathed, pulling away. He looked so dazed I didn’t know if he was telling me this or saying it to himself. “Not since the other night.”

He didn’t wait for me to respond, only quickly maneuvered me away from the sink until I felt the bathroom wall pressed firmly against my back. He loomed closer, crowding me, leaning forward against the wall himself until his forearms bracketed my head. His dark eyes were all pupils, blown wide with the same desire I could feel coursing through my bloodstream. His mouth was less than an inch from mine. It took all my self-control not to lean forward right then and capture those plush lips of his in another kiss.

“Cassie,” he breathed. “I—”

Whatever he’d been about to say was interrupted by a series of very loud, insistent raps on the bathroom door.

Frederick jumped back and away from me as if I’d scalded him.

“Anyone in there?” A woman’s pleasant voice cut through the haze of lust like a knife.

Oh no, Frederick mouthed, his eyes wide.

“Just a minute,” I yelled, trying not to laugh at how horrified Frederick looked. “We’re almost done in here.”

“All good!” the woman said, a bit too loudly. “I’ll come back in a few minutes.”

“Why did you say we are almost done in here?” Frederick whispered hoarsely. He looked like he was about to throw up. Could vampires throw up, I wondered? Something to think about later. “There are at least two dozen other people out there. And now, they will all know we were in this very small bathroom together all this time. Alone.”

“So?”

“So?” He stared at me, incredulous. “What will they think, Cassie?”

If Frederick had pearls to clutch, he certainly would be clutching them now. He looked so petrified I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.

“Who cares what they think?”

“Your reputation, Cassie!” He shook his head. “The conclusions they will likely draw!”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “What sort of conclusions? That you were drinking my blood?”

His eyebrows shot up his forehead. “No! That we were . . . that we were . . .”

I slowly crossed the room until I was standing just a few inches away from him. I placed my hands flat on his chest. He made a little pained noise in the back of his throat that only spurred me on. If I had my way, he would be making that noise for me again and again that night.

“That we were what, Frederick?”

He swallowed. I tracked the movement of his Adam’s apple, fighting the sharp urge to trace its shape with my tongue.

“That I was debauching you.”

It was only the deadly serious expression on his face that kept me from laughing out loud.

“They might assume we were making out in here, yeah. But who cares?”

He looked horrified. “Cassie—”

I placed a finger to his lips, silencing him. “Things have changed in the past hundred years. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks.”

He didn’t seem to believe my assertions that he didn’t need to worry about protecting my virtue or my honor. But when I grabbed his wrist to pull him out of the bathroom, he followed me all the same.

“Let’s say goodbye to Sam and Scott and thank them for inviting us,” I said. “Then let’s go home.”





SIXTEEN




    Excerpt from Chapter 17 of Making Love to Humans in the Twenty-First Century: A Definitive Guide for the Modern Vampire (Author Unknown)

If you have read this far, you now understand the full extent to which sexual mores and expectations have changed since the era when everyone simply pretended to wait until marriage to have sexual intercourse. There are certain acts your twenty-first-century human lover will likely expect that may catch you by surprise if you have not engaged in sexual congress in some decades.

This chapter describes several of the most popular modern methods for bringing a human to orgasm using one’s mouth. The key, as we will discuss in more detail below, is to obscure your fangs. At the end of this chapter, you will be guided step-by-step through a series of practice exercises that, when implemented in bed, will leave your human lover immensely satisfied.




Frederick convinced me to take an Uber with him back to the apartment. Though convincing was an overstatement; I’d agreed as soon as he’d suggested it. After all, he’d done amazingly well picking up the public transportation basics on our earlier El adventure. If he felt uncomfortable with the process of riding the train, we could try again another time.

More to the point: Uber would get us home faster than the train. After what had just happened at Sam’s party, I was eager to get home as quickly as possible.

It was obvious Frederick felt the same way. Once we were in our seat belts and our driver pulled away from the curb, Frederick’s hands were on me again—touching my shoulders, in my hair. He looked at me with a guarded, hopeful expression.

I was only too ready to pick up again right where we left off. But first, I had some questions.

“Taylor Swift, huh?” I smirked at him, enjoying the way he fidgeted in his seat. “You’re a Swiftie?”

He winced a little at the term. “No. It’s like I said earlier. I just studied before the party.”