My Roommate Is a Vampire(86)

I look forward to your immediate response.

Cassie Greenberg



I reread my email to Frederick’s mother, trying to work up the nerve to hit send.

“Your plan isn’t ridiculous,” Reginald said. “It’s brilliant.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

“Will it work?”

Reginald hesitated. “Maybe.” He stood behind me, leaning over my chair as he read the email I’d just drafted. Around us, Gossamer’s patrons sipped their coffee and ate their muffins, hopefully oblivious to the fact that Reginald and I were plotting a vampire rescue in the western suburbs. “Aside from Esmeralda, who just uses Instagram to post pictures as far as I can tell, the social media phenomenon has passed most vampires by. A lot of them are centuries old, after all. They don’t pay much attention to current events. If they’ve even heard of social media, it’s likely just that it’s a tool today’s humans use to spread information.”

This tracked with everything I knew about Frederick’s Luddite ways. But the idea that his captors might find my threat convincing was still hard to believe.

Especially since I barely knew how to navigate TikTok myself.

“I get that Mrs. Fitzwilliam and the Jamesons don’t want the general human public to know that vampires are real—”

“They don’t,” Reginald said, bluntly. “None of us do.”

“Okay,” I said. “My concern is what happens if they call my bluff. I have seven followers on TikTok. I use it to watch cat videos. Even if I knew how to post something like this to TikTok—which I only barely do—there’s a roughly zero percent chance anyone would see it.”

“If they call your bluff, we’ll come up with a Plan B,” he said. “But I think if all we do is simply film you making a Vampires are real! announcement and send it with the email, it should be enough.”

“I wish I believed that.”

Reginald sat back in his chair and scratched his chin, pondering. “It isn’t as though Edwina or the Jamesons will go on TikTok to check whether you’ve followed through.” He regarded me before adding, “And to be honest, Frederick wouldn’t actually want something like that on the internet anyway. Neither would I.”

I swallowed down the fear that rose at the thought that this plan might endanger Frederick even as I was attempting to save him.

“Okay,” I said, closing my laptop without hitting send on the email. “Where should we film this?”

“Freddie’s apartment,” Reginald said immediately. “His mom will recognize the setting, and your being there even when he’s gone will send a strong message of Back off, this man is mine.” He tilted his head as he regarded me. “Assuming, of course, that that’s the message you want to send.”

He had a knowing look on his face, and I felt myself flush under his gaze. Because it wasn’t just that I didn’t want Frederick to be coerced into marrying someone he did not love.

It was more than that.

I wanted Frederick to be safe.

But I also wanted him for me.

I needed his captors to understand that.

“That is the message I want to send,” I confirmed. “Let’s go back to the apartment and film this thing.”

Reginald smiled his agreement. Though it’s possible he was smirking at me instead.



* * *





“This isn’t going to work.”

“It will.”

I stared at Reginald as the terrible video he’d just taken of me threatening to expose all of vampire-kind played back to us from my laptop.

“Were we convincing?”

Reginald frowned contemplatively and made a seesawing motion with his hand. “Yes? Maybe? Hard to say. Either way it’s too late for do-overs. We’ve already emailed it to Mrs. Fitzwilliam.”

I sighed and buried my face in my hands.

“Humans of North America,” the video version of me chirped with false bravado, Frederick’s creepy stuffed wolf’s head with the glowing red eyes hanging just above my head. (“I got it for him at Disney World,” Reginald had explained. “But I told him I chopped off a werewolf’s head so I’d sound tough.”) “I come to you with news of great importance.”

The video-me held aloft two bags of blood I’d gotten from the small refrigerator Frederick kept in his bedroom, one in each hand. I thought back to how horrified I’d been the first time I saw all that blood in the kitchen. It didn’t bother me so much anymore. Frederick had kept his promise to me, never once eating in my presence or storing his blood in a place I might find it.

It was clear to me now that he’d chosen the most humane way to survive that he possibly could.

The video-me managed to keep from broadcasting any of these tender thoughts. That part had gone well, at least. Usually I had zero poker face at all. Brandishing the bags, video-me said, “The recent rash of blood bank break-ins have all been the work of vampires living in our midst. And here is the proof!”

Video-me pointed up to the “werewolf head” hanging above me. “They behead werewolves for sport! They drink the blood of our children! They live right here in Chicago. In New York City. Everywhere! No corner of the earth is safe while they roam free!”