Needy Little Things(82)
“I figured that much out.”
“Any idea why he’d set up his best friend?”
“I guess because he never approved of his relationship with Crystelle. He thought Jed was spreading rumors to keep them away from each other.”
There’s a knock on our front door and I hear my father greet Malcolm. Jude hears it, too.
“I’ll let you go,” he says. “Maybe I can come see you tomorrow?”
“I’d like that,” I say, and we hang up.
A few seconds later, Malcolm drums his fingers against my open door. “Hey.” He wrings his hands like he always does on the rare occasions that he is nervous. “It’s so strange seeing your dad here this time of year.”
“It’s different, but I’m happy he’s close.”
“Yeah, of course.” He steps inside and stands there awkwardly for a moment before perching on the end of my bed, head bowed. “I knew she had a boyfriend. She told me his name was Jay. I didn’t know any more details than that, but when you found the card, I got worried you’d interfere and mess everything up. I knew the police wouldn’t figure anything out before the date Deja and I set for her to come back, but I wanted to at least see how close they’d get.”
“I don’t blame you for thinking about doing all of this, Malcolm. But I can’t believe you actually went through with it.”
“I went back and forth about it all the way until you sensed that pepper spray. It seemed like a sign. We wanted the police to suspect foul play, like they did with Casey. That’s the only way it’d be a fair comparison, but we didn’t want to do anything too out there. The best we came up with was for her to leave her phone behind. But after you gave her the pepper spray, I told her she should discharge it before Jay— Jed”—Malcolm drags his hand down his face—“Fitzgerald picked her up.”
“Why’d you look up all that stuff about Deja’s stepdad if you knew she was fine all along?”
“Because I never fully understood why she agreed to it. I felt like she was hiding something, too.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner, Colmy? Not just that she was hiding something, but all of it. Your plan. I know you were angry with me, but … it’s me.”
“I tried to.” He takes out his phone and passes it to me. “Go to our thread. Remember those texts I deleted from your phone?”
My thumb trembles slightly as I scroll.
“I thought, maybe even hoped, you were lying about not reading it. That you did and needed time to process it or something. But then, it was so vague anyway…”
He keeps talking, but I’m busy trying to locate the text.
Malcolm
Tried calling you earlier. Call me back.
Hello?
Look, there’s something I need to tell you. I really can’t do it over text, but I need to get this off my chest. It’s about Tessa and Casey and Deja. It’s driving me up the wall. I need you with me in this, Ri. I’m trying to hold it on my own, but I don’t think I can. Feeling like I’ve messed everything up. Like I’m doing too much and not enough at the same time. How is that even possible? I know I’m ranting at this point and none of this makes sense, but … call me. Better yet, come over. Let me get this out because I swear it’s rotting me from the inside.
Tears are gliding down my cheeks when I finish. How did I ignore this? And why would Malcolm put me in a position to feel bad about something like this?
“I was going to tell you. That day. I wanted to. But when you didn’t reply, I got nervous. I regretted sending it, but it was too late to undo, so I followed up with a casual text that would be easy to ignore if you saw the message preview.”
“Malcolm, I am so sorry.” I’m not the only one who needs to offer apologies, but I mean it.
He holds up his hand. “I didn’t regret it because you didn’t respond. I got scared. Cold feet. That’s when it got real for me. That’s the first time I really thought about consequences or who was getting hurt in the process. I mean, me and Dej talked about that some, but our goal felt so much higher than all of that. So much bigger. So worthy. And I was angry. I am angry. Have been for years. I needed to make a point, and she was willing. Can’t say she understood it on my level. But she understood rage. Her mom made sure of that. But you, I saw how your anger over Tess faded until only sadness and nostalgia were left. And there’s nothing wrong with that.” He presses his lips together, then releases them with a small pop. “But that’s not where I am.”
“So this wasn’t about a project, or making a statement, was it?”
He contemplates this. “I thought it was. I really did. But maybe it was more about justifying my anger. I was overwhelmed by it, Ri. And it seemed like I was alone in that until Casey. People who didn’t even know her were outraged. Like I said the other day, I needed to know if something had changed since Tess. And if nothing had, I wanted people to think about why.”
“Well, mission accomplished.” I hand Malcolm his phone back.
I left his browser open to a think piece that has been shared 347,000 times. Atlanta Missing Teen Held Captive and Found by Friend: Did you even know she was gone?
CHAPTER 36