Next-Door Nemesis(3)
This is Ohio. The only two people I actually liked from high school left this town as soon as the opportunity presented itself. I don’t have anyone to impress anymore.
Not even myself.
It’s just too bad my mom won’t agree.
And sure, nearing thirty should mean I don’t have to sneak out of the house anymore. However, according to the laws of Kimberly Carter, I’ll never be too old to be told to change my outfit and put on lipstick. Which is why, at twenty-nine and three-quarters years old, I tiptoe down the hallway and run out the front door. I leap into the front seat of my mom’s old minivan and peel out of the driveway without a backward glance.
Burning rubber out of my quiet suburban hometown may not be my finest moment, but it’s not my worst either. My life right now is a total dumpster fire and while there aren’t many bright sides about my current situation, at least I know I can’t sink any lower.
Watch out, Ohio.
It’s only up from here.
Chapter 2
I drive past a moving van as the white picket fences of the Reserve at Horizon Creek fade in the rearview mirror of the minivan I still don’t understand my parents buying. I’m an only child; we would’ve been fine with a sedan.
I adjust the radio, turning off Dad’s sports talk and finding the local station I used to listen to in high school. I’m a sucker for pop music, and the Top 100 song that blasts through the speakers soothes my soul. I’ve gotten lost in the mindless lyrics, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, when my phone rings.
Ruby’s name lights up the screen and I contemplate letting her go to voicemail. Today has already been a day, and as much as I appreciate the motivational speeches she’s been giving me since the video hit the internet, I’m not sure I can handle any of her lawyerly logic right now.
However, I do know I can’t deal with her wrath at being ignored.
“What it do?” I answer, lacking the usual enthusiasm I greet her with.
There’s a long pause before her brash voice bursts through my phone. “Ew. What’s wrong with you?”
“Besides the obvious?” I switch the phone to the speaker, securing it between my chest and seat belt so I can keep both hands on the wheel. Safety first and all. “Not much.”
“Kim’s still sending you inspirational memes and Bible verses, isn’t she?” She throws out her accurate guess on the first go.
Ruby has been my best friend since middle school. When her parents divorced when we were fifteen, she practically lived at our house. That’s to say that she, too, has been on the receiving end of Kimberly Carter’s never-ending good-vibes-only routine.
“Kim’s gonna Kim,” I confirm what she already knew. “But today escalated to an invitation to join her church group.”
“Oh god. The Karens?” I can hear her shudder through the phone. “Were you able to get out of it? Do you need to brainstorm excuses with me?”
The worry in her voice is the first thing to cheer me up all day. Only Ruby understands the abject torture of being trapped in a room with my mom and the Karens.
“I’m good,” I reassure her. “I’m going to grab a coffee now and then I’m heading to a garden center with Dad to pick up a tree for my mom and probably more vegetable plants for him.”
Our backyard has enough tomatoes to supply Olive Garden. I doubt even he knows how many he has.
“I love that for—” she starts, but then her tone changes and the sound is muffled. “Luke, are you serious? I’ve asked you to knock a hundred times. This is a law firm, not your buddy’s place. You can’t just barge in here.” I hear poor Luke’s faint apology in the background before Ruby cuts him off. “Not now. I’m on a very important phone call.”
Before Ruby’s parents divorced, she was a pageant girl to the max. Her mom was a doctor and, breaking the societal norms, her dad was the one who drove her over state lines to compete in whatever pageant she was in that weekend. She had the bright white teeth, so much hairspray it was a miracle her hair didn’t fall out, and an entire room dedicated to housing her evening gowns. I would tag along sometimes, and even though she denies it now, she really loved competing. She was the reigning champ for a reason.
However, when news of her dad’s infidelity came to light, something inside her snapped. She quit doing pageants and made it her mission to make every man who crosses her path pay for her father’s sins. Now she’s a divorce attorney who only represents women (and men or nonbinary people) divorcing their husbands. Countless therapists have told her she has displaced anger, but she still hasn’t made any moves to address it.
“Sheesh.” I hit the directional and turn right into the shopping center where Cool Beans is located. “You’re always so hard on the poor guy.”
“Oh please. I’ve given him ample opportunities to change his behavior.” I don’t even need to see her to know she’s rolling her eyes. “If he did his job like I’ve asked, there’d be no problems. I mean, really, how hard is it to knock before entering a room?”
If this was the first time I heard her talk to an assistant like this, maybe I’d buy what she’s selling. But we talk every day and I know that’s a complete load of crap.
“Ruby, come on.” I pull into a parking spot and put my phone back to my ear. “You’ve never liked a single one of your assistants. Is it possible that you’re the problem?”