No One Can Know(61)

“You’re the one who said you wanted to kill them. You’re the one who fought with them constantly,” JJ said.

“You had a whole secret life.”

“And I never got caught, did I? Things were working, and I knew all I had to do was wait,” JJ said.

“Unless they found out,” Emma pointed out. “What happened to the clothes you were wearing?”

“You’re the one that hid them,” JJ said.

“Those weren’t yours,” Emma said. “You were wearing someone else’s clothes.”

“If you’re going to accuse me of something—”

“Why did you tell Vic you needed to find out what I knew?” Emma asked sharply.

JJ shoved to her feet.

“What were you doing at the house this morning?” Emma pressed, and JJ blanched.

“—going in there, so if you’ll excuse me,” came a voice from the hall.

Emma pushed herself up, brow furrowing. JJ’s head twisted around toward the noise as Gabriel pushed his way into the room. A nurse appeared behind him, not at all happy.

“Sir, I told you, you cannot come in here.”

“It’s okay,” Emma said, puzzled. “He’s a friend.” The nurse looked between them. Sighed. Walked away.

“I heard what happened. Are you okay?” Gabriel asked.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Emma said.

“I was worried about you. I’ve been thinking ever since you came over. Thinking about how I fucked up, not talking to you, blaming you for what happened. I was on my way to talk to you and I saw all the cops and one of them told me you were here,” Gabriel said.

Her heart thumped in her chest. Gabriel was here. All these years later and she still felt safe when he was around, even if it had never been true. “I’m fine. Just dehydration, mostly. They’re about to discharge me.”

“Where will you go?” Gabriel asked. She hadn’t thought about that yet.

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Then I’ll take you to the house,” Gabriel said.

JJ snorted. “Yeah, that’ll look great. Going straight from your husband’s murder scene to your boyfriend’s house.”

“He’s not—”

“I know,” JJ said sharply. “But that’s what it’s going to look like. Come on, Emma. You’re the smart one. Be smart.”

Emma’s jaw clenched so tightly her back teeth hurt. Like she was going to take advice from JJ right now? “Just get me out of here, will you?” she said to Gabriel pleadingly. He nodded.

“Fine,” JJ said. “Just—don’t say anything. To anyone.”

“I never did,” Emma said quietly.

JJ hesitated a moment, and then strode out the door.





31

EMMA




Now



Lorelei said nothing when Emma appeared on her doorstep, only held the door open and gave Gabriel a look that could have been a whole conversation. Emma could only guess that Lorelei wasn’t thrilled to have her here, to have Gabriel involved in her drama, but she’d made up the guest room already, and while Emma sat in the back garden, the wind catching at her hair, she brought out a cup of coffee.

Emma sat with her hands wrapped around the mug, staring at the tumble of green and bright flowers.

Emma didn’t believe in luck or fate. But she understood, deep within her heart, that there were people who could be a curse on those around them. Their rot infected others and it spread and spread, it got into the blood, the marrow, the lungs.

Nathan was a good man, she told herself. His flaws were modest ones, suited to a modest life. He had grown up loved by two middle-class parents and gone to school and gotten good grades and a decent job, and if the last few years had been hard, had given those small flaws the chance to gain purchase, surely it was because of the dark seam at the center of her she had worked so hard to cover over. But it was like foul water seeping through layer after layer of wallpaper, revealing the shape of the damage.

If it weren’t for her, she was certain he would still be alive.

“Emma.” She didn’t startle at Gabriel’s voice as he stepped out onto the back porch. “Your coffee’s getting cold.”

She hadn’t had a single sip. She lifted it to her lips. It was lukewarm and bitter. “JJ is right, you know. Me being here—it’s going to cause you trouble.”

“I’m not worried,” Gabriel says. “I was at a jobsite most of the night. Cameras everywhere.”

“Jobsite?” Emma echoed. “You know, I don’t even know what it is you do.”

“Carpentry,” he told her, leaning against the doorframe. “I’m leading a renovation for this historic B and B. We had some delays with the supply chain issues, so I was up there with one of my guys trying to finish in time for their grand opening. The owner’s paranoid about theft, so she records everything.”

Gabriel was a carpenter. That felt right, somehow. She couldn’t imagine him cooped up in an office doing IT work.

“Emma. Why didn’t you want to go with Juliette? What’s going on between you?” Gabriel asked.

Emma took another sip. “I don’t know that woman. I don’t know if I even knew Juliette, but this is someone else entirely,” Emma said. Her words sounded pockmarked, pitted by the acid that seemed to always be burning away at her throat. “After my parents died, everyone I knew disappeared. They wouldn’t talk to me. Didn’t want anything to do with me, really. I figured if everyone hated me that much, they couldn’t all be wrong. I decided I had to start over. Take myself apart and build someone new. Someone who had nothing in common with the old Emma Palmer. I made myself into a stranger and I found someone who could love her, but I couldn’t ever let him find out who I was. And then he did, and he died.”